On Purpose

Chapter 14

They hadn't spoken much, and Bellamy had soon fallen asleep again. 

Clarke had stayed by his side, but she wasn't sleeping like him. She was just in the chair beside him, thinking. 

They had been alone in medical for so long she barely heard when Raven entered. 

"Hey," She spoke softly, but it still made Clarke jump a little in surprise. 

"Hey," Clarke answered as she stood up and turned to face Raven. 

"How is he holding up?" Raven asked, glancing at Bellamy. 

"He will be fine," Clarke sighed in return. "He is sleeping," 

"What about you?" Raven asked, returning her attention to Clarke. 

She shrugged. "Good." Silence surrounded them for a moment while Raven considered her next words. 

Raven knew how Clarke felt, she had known her for years, and she was basically an open book. 

"It's okay to be worried about someone you love, Clarke." She finally stated. 

The blonde girl glared at her confusingly, and Raven motioned at Bellamy. 

"I don't love Bellamy," Clarke spoke, almost too sure. She didn't really understand where Raven was going with this. 

"Of course you do, we all care about him." She continued, smiling reassuringly, although Clarke still had a stern look plastered on her face. 

"I understand that you're worried, probably even more than you think you should be," Raven said. "But it's okay." 

Clarke was at a loss for words. What was she supposed to say? She didn't get a lot of time to think about it before Raven had already left again. 

But she was right. Clarke had thought that it was so irrational for her to worry so much about Bellamy, especially because she knew that he was going to be completely fine.

He just needed to rest a little bit, it was really nothing too serious. 

Raven had stated that Clarke loved Bellamy, and Clarke still couldn't understand. Those words made her confused. She had never loved anyone deeply except her parents, and one of them was dead. 

Did she even know what love felt like? She had never experienced it in an intimate, romantic relationship. 

She had had a few romantic relationships if you could even call them that. They had never been anything serious. 

And suddenly she caught herself imagining such a relationship with Bellamy. The boy with the dark hair and the freckles sprayed on his face. They looked like constellations in the night sky. 

The boy who would pull her closer when she woke shakingly up from a nightmare. The boy who would also strengthen his grip on her when he himself was having a nightmare, as to make sure she was right beside him. 

Bellamy had heard the whole conversation. He had woken up just seconds before Raven entered, but it was like his eyes were too heavy to open. 

It had been quite an interesting conversation, but now he also felt nervous. Love?

Such a strong word that had been used so wrongly a million times before.

He knew Clarke was still standing up, 'cause he couldn't feel her beside him. 

He had never thought about the love between the two of them, but now he could not stop.