A Quiet Kismet

Chapter Eight

AGE 12

The second time Mom was depressed was right after we dropped my brother Jorge off at the bus stop. We all stood by the bus and waited until he was out of the parking lot, then out of the neighborhood, out of town, and perhaps we would've waited even longer if Ruby didn't cry that he was hungry.

My brother Jorge was 21, and finally done with the oil rigs in the gulf. My mom's sister, Tia Maria, offered him a job at her pipeline business. It was better money and Jorge wasn't the type of person to ever pass up a better opportunity. He was the first one to graduate high school in our family since Delia dropped out to elope with her then husband, Beto. Jaimie had gotten pregnant her senior year and left school for a little while then decided a GED was a simpler option considering the circumstances. Jorge thought about going to college for only three seconds before he heard the familiar siren call of oil in the ocean. He packed his bags and left for months at a time, but his home was always wherever we were. No matter how long he was gone, it didn't matter because Gable would always be his landing. We would always be his home. Until one day we weren't and he left...for good.

I wasn't mad. Jorge was always the responsible level-headed one. There was always a plan for the plan. Being on the rigs was never the endgame for him. He wanted a family, a wife and kids to come home to after working all day. In some ways, Jorge reminded me of Ruben the most...the old Ruben. He wanted the baseball games in the park, the bumrush of kids when he walked through the door, and the wife he could spin around in the living room after dinner. Louisiana would one day grant his wish.

When we got home, I fixed Ruby and Julia sandwitches. Mom went to her room and didn't come out until the next day. Jorge was the last of my older siblings to leave. Jaimie had left a couple months before to move to Onasis Texas, where my brother in law had family. They took our baby niece Iris and I cried for days because she was just as much mine as she was Jaimie's. Delia was long gone. The last phone call we had gotten from her was three months before, she was in Corpus Christi living it up with her husband. But she moved more than anyone had a right to. So whenever we heard from her it was because she was in a new city, "Finding her footing".

I think in Mom's head and probably in her heart, she believed Jorge would be the one who stayed. She was so lost without the girls, but with Jorge gone, so was her anchor. I probably didn't give my brother enough credit, but he was the one who took care of Mom while she took care of the rest of us. Mom would probably deny it for the rest of her life that she had favorites, but in my hearts of hearts, I knew that title belonged to Jorge. The boy who wanted to have what my parents had once had...a love that seemed idyllic in the most simple way.

Mom stayed sad for seventy two days after Jorge left. I know this because I had a secret calendar where I marked the days she sulked around the house. She went to work, sometimes cooked dinner, then went to her room to cry until she fell asleep. I called Jaimie on day fifteen to tell her how Mom was, and Jaimie said Mom was experiencing empty nest syndrome.

I didn't understand it then. She still had three kids at home. I was twelve, Julia ten, and Ruby was seven. We were plenty enough for her. But Jaimie said Mom just wasn't used to not having the older kids there to watch over us younger ones. Mom was just flustered. I knew Jaimie was right. Jaimie was always right in that stubborn way.

On day seventy three, Mom was home early from work and there was dinner on the table. "Oh my God, Grandpa died didn't he?" I blurted out. Julia squeaked and her face began to scrunch up like it did before she started crying.

Mom's eyes widened and she shook her head. "No! Oh no mija, Grandpa is still very much alive. I just thought I'd come home early and cook dinner." She smiled, but it seemed odd on her face. I knew I should've been happy to see it, but when your Mother doesn't smile for seventy two days, seeing it on the seventy third is a little shocking...