A Quiet Kismet

Chapter Two

AGE 7

Mom woke us up early one morning. It was still pretty dark out, and the house was quiet. She came into our room and shook all of us awake and told us to pack a bag. We did as we were told and packed a bag. I packed Julia's bag because she kept putting in her barbies instead of actual clothes.

Mom bum rushed us into our big clunky van and drove off as soon as the last kid was buckled in. I sleepily swiped at my eyes, and looked up, I noticed that daddy wasn't in the van. "Mama, where's daddy? Did we forget him?" I asked.

Jorge, my older brother, nudged my shoulder. I think he knew more than me because he made sure to keep me quiet. "Go back to sleep Millie." He said then turned to Julia. "You too Jules."

I didn't fight him, I was awfully tired. Both Jules and I stretched out on the back seat and knocked out. When I woke up again, I was in a house that didn't belong to us.

My skin was all hot and sticky and I was squished between Julia and baby Ruby. I got up and found Delia and Jorge on the couch sleeping, and when I stepped down, I found Jaimie curled up in a ball snoring away on the floor. The house was hot and a window was cracked open. I momentarily freaked out, but then I heard my mother's voice.

I opened the door and saw a door cracked open next to ours. I could see mom on the phone, she had tears in her eyes but her voice wasn't quivering when she spoke. It came out strong and even."I'm not coming back, and I won't let you ever see them." She said, It was dad, I knew it was him.

At seven years old, I wasn't as oblivious as mom would have liked. I caught things other kids wouldn't. My parents didn't have screaming matches in front of us. But I noticed how dad's side of the bed was always neat, and how the couch seemed lumpier the past few months. Mom stopped making dad his lunches for work, and when he came back late most days he smelled like beer. Mom never looked at dad and he didn't seem to care.

Long gone were the days of stolen kisses over dinner, and spontaneous dances in the living room at the end of the day. They were married, but they were uncoupled and had been for awhile. The only thing I didn't understand then, was what broke the camel's back. Why did mom choose to leave then and not months ago?

"You can't change that's the problem! We're not kids anymore and I'm not going to wait for you. I waited seventeen years and that's enough for me. I won't put my children through that anymore!" She screamed into the receiver and I was shocked she hadn't woken anyone up. "Yes, my children." She hissed once more.

I slid onto the floor and cradled my knees close to my chest, listening as my world unraveled around me. It was one of the many moments in life that I felt unable to stop life from happening in the worst way possible. I was pathetic in that small moment.

"It's over Ruben." Then she hung up and cried. I buried my head in my hands and silently cried along. Mom didn't know she shared that moment with me, and she never would.

***

We spent a week at that house, it belonged to a friend of my mother's. She didn't have children but she had cats and lots of them. Her house was always hot, she didn't have cable, and it always smelled like cat pee and stale cigarettes.

It was one of the worst weeks of my life. Everyone was on edge and Mom became a shell. She didn't cry after that first night, she didn't do anything in fact. She didn't get mad when we asked too many questions, she didn't look sad when Julie and I cried for Dad, she didn't even bat an eye when Delia snuck off to smoke pot with her friends missing curfew. She just sat on the couch and stared off into space. It was collectively decided that we all needed to step up.