A Quiet Kismet

Chapter Five

AGE 26

Ruben looked like he aged poorly, the only thing that survived his bout with alcoholism was his hair. It was greying, but it never lost that shine and volume. I used to make up stories about why he wasn't with our family anymore. I got so full of myself that I would tell them to strangers in the grocery line as Mom looked on, embarrassed.

He was an archaeologist in Egypt, trying to find a forgotten farroh. He was a successful plastic surgeon in L.A working on all the stars. He was a fisherman, out searching for the elusive one eyed great white whale that took down his last ship mates. All stories and lies I told not only others but myself to hide the truth.

The real truth. My Dad was a drunk and he lived in a rotting mobile home that he paid for with his crappy factory worker money. He wasn't an extraordinary man by any means. He wasn't even ordinary, in that perfectly stable way. He was a pathetic drunk, wasting away in a trailer park. Slowly withering away next to a bottle that was good enough for him, unlike the family he left behind.

Except now he was here, in the small oasis Mom had found, far away from Gable Texas, the place of nightmares. Onassis was a good eight hour drive from Gable, and last time I saw him, Ruben was towering over me, slurring profanities at me. Like Julia, there was a time when I wanted nothing more than to find him again. I ran away from home one weekend, and found that he was there all along. Not somewhere far away and unattainable. He was just fifteen minutes away from our old house.

I let myself believe too easily that he would be happy to see me. To know that I was okay, and the family was still together waiting for him. But all I got were lazy half smiles and I said one wrong thing, and there I was, out on my ass in his front yard as he called me an 'Ungrateful little bitch'. I left Gable and never returned, and swore I would never tell anyone about that weekend or where I went.

"You look good mija, you remind me of your mother at this age." He said, then added. "You know, I think she was your age when she was pregnant with you." He mused, as if seeing him wasn't making my blood boil. "You're not pregnant, are you?" He joked.

I turned around and found Derek still in the kitchen, watching the exchange carefully. I felt the tip of my ears turning red, and thanked God that my hair covered them. "No!"

"It's okay if you are, or if you're dating or whatever. I'm okay with that, as long as I get to meet the lucky muchacho." He said, rambling as a smile twitched across his face. This sent me over the edge. Did he honestly think I needed his blessing to date? What was this, the 1950's?

I stood taller and squared my shoulders until they tensed. I stepped forward and forced him out of the house. "Listen to me Ruben." I said eerily calm. "I don't give a flying fuck if the pope himself summoned you here for your goddamn daughters wedding. I'm not going to play along and act like you're my dad, because you're not. I'm not going to tell you about who I'm dating, what I do for work, or where I live. That's my life, and you chose a long time ago that you wanted no part of that."

"Millie-"

"No!" I snapped, grateful that the party had taken itself to the farthest part of Mom's backyard. It didn't matter if I yelled, no one could hear me over the distance and music that was playing. "I'll smile in the pictures, I'll sit at the same table as you at the wedding, and banter with the other guests but that's it. It's not for you, it's for Jules. You are dead to me Ruben, and a pathetic waste of life-"

"Okay Amelia, that's enough." Derek said, placing his hand on my shoulder. I tensed up and turned up to look at him. His jaw was grinding and he was looking at me as if he couldn't believe me. I didn't say anything else and yanked my body away from him, and pushed past Ruben. Who did Derek think he was? What a prick! He doesn't know the first thing about Ruben and my hate for him.