Hamilton One Shots

Hamilton x Eliza

Hello dere I is back! How are y'all? Ok, so I know this is already a ship but I thought I could go further into detail with it, is that's ok with you? This takes around the time when Phillip died (RIP he was like a son to me T_T) aaaaand I'll see you at the end!

[Hamilton's POV]

Life became too quiet. There was no sound. I felt numb, just existent, floating around without a purpose. All the positivity and happiness I had felt before was all drained out of me. My 19-year-old self is like a stranger to me right now.

19, just like Phillip. My Phillip, my son. The one I had given my heart to raise up, the one who I had left for my work. To create my legacy. To rise up. To become someone. But all that I'd work for, all that I had done, all right now meant nothing. 19, I had an older mind, just like Phillip. I was going to be my own man, just like Phillip was going to be. I was ready to explore the world, meet friends, have a job, start a family, just like Phillip. He had the opportunity to do all of this, and it was me to blame. Me to blame for killing him. Me to blame for not being a father for him. Me, being my dissatisfied self, ignored him, all those years. I never stopped to think about him. I did this to him, and my Eliza.

My Eliza... my wife. I forgot about her, worked and worked and worked to provide for her to live a good life, not like the life I had once lived before, sitting in my own sick, hardly enough money to survive, to live. I used this as an excuse, a reason to keep working, yet I had no reason to. I just needed to be with my Eliza, my Phillip. Eliza fell in love with a boy who was open to ideas, had a passion for writing, one who gave love. Instead, she was given a monster, a child-slaughtering work-obsessed cheating low life. I deserve this pain! I DESERVE IT! THE MOMENT I CHEATED THE MOMENT I SENT MY SON THE MOMENT I MESSED UP MY LIFE! I SHOULD LIVE WITH THIS SHAME! EVERY DAY SINCE HE DIED MY WIFE CRIED HERSELF TO SLEEP! NO HUSBAND TO HELP HER SLEEP BECAUSE I CHEATED ON HER! I AM AN IDIOT! STUPID HAMILTON! STUPID HAMILTON! YOU REALLY OUTDID YOURSELF THIS TIME!

I came back from the church, the silence again laying around me like an iron blanket. I can't live in this silence, it's scary. I have to eventually apologise to Eliza, but I'm afraid that apologising isn't enough. I stepped inside, removing my coat and shoes, and walked upstairs, standing just outside of Eliza's room, the place I had once slept with her. I sleep in my office now, it's my new home and that exact same place that had ruined my life. I held my breath, preparing myself mentally for what was going to happen. I will not stop until I am forgiven. That's what Hamilton would do! 

I entered the room, ready this time. I won't be scared, I wo-

She looked like a mess. All the curtains were drawn, complete darkness amongst the room. Her face was messed up, eyes red, puffy and dull in the night. She looked almost grey, no sunlight touching her once soft but now ice-like skin. I can't look at her without tearing up, her sitting on a cold bed with no one to comfort her. It's time...

"Eliza... can I, er... talk to you?"

"W-w-what is it, A-Alexander?" her voice was sore and hoarse as if she hadn't used it in ages, which only cracked my heart even more.

"I...I know I've been a jerk," I said, tearing up. "I cheated on you, I didn't give my family the attention they needed, I never looked out for you, I've ruined our life, I killed our son," my voice hitched at that last part. "I... I don't deserve you, Eliza! I told myself to stop being greedy, to stop writing and to raise our son. I've missed out so much, our son saying his first french words, watching him count to 10, seeing him smile on stage, singing out and performing to the crowd. And I didn't even see him then, I missed out, you were the only person there, supporting him, whilst his father was too busy working. And it took me the death of my son to realise what I had lost, because of my greed!" I teared up even more, tears rolling down my face in beads. I took another shaky breath, looking at my feet, not willing to look at her face after all of this. 

"I... I know I don't deserve you, Eliza. If I could trade his life for mine, he'd be standing here instead, and you would be happier, you'd be better off than your stupid cheating husband. I should be the one fighting my own battles, not our son! It's my fault. You don't have to forgive me, I deserve this pain and punishment. And all you ever were was a kind and honest wife, patient and obedient, giving respect for your husband who doesn't deserve it. I understand your pain, but I would do anything to see you talk and laugh with me, ANYTHING! So, hear me out... THAT would be enough!" I was in absolute tears after that, and I could hardly see her. But what surprised me the most was she was in a huge assort of tears, agonising cries filling the room. I walked over to her, a comfortable distance between us, and let her release all her emotion.

"A... ALEXANDER!" she almost yelled it, and my throat closed up. "I FORGAVE YOU A LONG TIME AGO! IT'S BEEN SO QUIET, I... I... I MISSED YOU!" I couldn't take it anymore, and my cries filled the room too, my voice wavering, for my son, for my wife, for all that she has been through only to forgive me over and over and over again. Sh...She is some beautiful and amazing woman!

I sat on the bed with her, tightly hugging her, crying on her as she cried on me. We cried until we couldn't any more. She forgave me, and that is all that mattered.

Ok I'm done!!!! Whoah I never thought all of this would take so long! I know this one is short but it's the best I've got. Any requests go for it, I ain't stopping ya! And I can redo stuff, any happier requests (Because about 75% of these were sad and depressing) I can do for ya. Thanks so much for reading this... *snickers*... Hamil-TON of crepe, hope you've been SATISFIED, I guess you have to WAIT for the next story which you can't SAY NO TO. Hope you aren't to MAD(ISON)  with these puns but you're all still ANGEL(ICA)'s to me!!!

Be potates!

                       ~Spud🥔