Don't Go Away Mad // Nikki Sixx x Tommy Lee - Lexx

Chapter 15 - Leave Me Alone

Nikki - 

I wake up from my little love affair. I think that I was only out for about 15 minutes this time. I might need to get back to speedballing. The blow keeps me from nodding out after I shoot up. I’m a little unsure whether I’m ready to start tangling with cocaine again. I’d have to get another pipe for freebasing, but I don’t exactly miss the psychotic episodes that the freebase brings on. I’m psycho enough without it. I’ve been in a manic state since waking up this morning. I might be acting in a calm manner, but there’s been something really fucked brewing in my head. I’m not sure exactly what it is and when it’s going to blow. But something is wrong, and I’m too calm. There’s always a calm before the storm.

**(Fun fact: In the early 90s, Stephen Pearcy from Ratt and Fred Coury from Cinderella started a super band called Arcade. They wrote a song called "Calm Before the Storm". The first verse is about Nikki and his overdose.)**

I think that I’m feeling more inspiration for song writing. I grab my notebook, sit back on the couch, and start scribbling. In no time, I have more lyrics. I know that I should start writing some music too, but my brain doesn’t seem to want to go there. I know now where my brain does want to go though, I need to call my dealer. Fucking hell. I just need him to bring me the drugs, hand him the money, and we’re done.

I pick up the phone and call him. He answers me right away, and starts telling me that he thought that he’d never hear from me again. I cut him off, and tell him what I need. He says that he needs some time to get it, and he’ll be by later, around 6pm. Fine. I hang up abruptly.

----------------------------------------------------

It’s a bit after 6pm, and I’m waiting for my dealer. It’s not an emergency, as I have a little junk left from my hidden stash. But I just want the new supply to arrive, along with a new pipe, and then I want him gone, so that I can lock my front door and hide in my house with my drugs. They will be my date for New Year’s Eve tomorrow. It’s all I need. Tonight, and the next 2 days for a nice, long binge before the fucking, bullshit band meeting on the 2nd. I miss this so much. I can’t wait to have another pipe. It’s going to be a great way to ring in the New Year. The only thing I’m going to have my lips on at the strike of midnight is my pipe.

I’ll be glad to have this year behind me. So here’s to another fucking year of complete bullshit! See if I make it all the way through this one. 

I’m pacing. I just need this fucker to show up with what I need, and then to fucking leave. C’mon asshole. A few other people have been ringing and knocking at my door. Tommy was just here a little while ago. He’s not welcome here, and I don’t want to see him. He’s made it clear where I stand with him. Heather on pedestal, me sixx feet under. Once my dealer comes, I know that I can completely ignore any other knocks and doorbells because no one else has been invited. They can all fuck off.

The knock comes that I’ve been waiting for. My dealer has a particular knock, just for occasions like this, when I don’t want to see anyone else, and risk having them see me look out the window or peephole to see who’s there. I open the door. We make an exchange. I don’t typically do it right at my front door. That’s actually pretty supid to do, but I don’t want him inside, and it’s going to be quick. He starts to try to make small talk, but I just hand him the money, and nearly shut the door on his hand. I lock it. I feel relieved. I feel like I can celebrate and relax now.

Just as I’m about ready to get into my bag of goods, I hear that fucking knock again. What the fuck does this douchebag want? Is he going to tell me that I owe him more? I fling the door open, and my blood runs cold. It’s not my dealer. It’s Tommy. I try to slam the door shut, but he wedges himself in the door frame.