The Essence Of Love

Solar Plexus

I wake up to the bright sun shining in my eyes. The nightstand clock says 11:11 am. From 30 floors up here at the Ritz Carlton , the view of New York City is a dream. I stand in the large window pane and take in the beautiful infamous skyline. The fluffy clouds have me feeling nostalgic like I'm way up in the cosmos somewhere, maybe this is where I'm meant to be. I've always wanted to visit, I was gonna go to school here , but I didn't want to leave my mama. I look over at Elle who is still sound asleep. I love my sis y'all , this girl is definitely my soul mate, fuck a nigga. Not even on some lesbian stuff but we just get each other ya know?

I hop back into my plush King bed to check my phone and of course I have tons of missed calls and messages. Here we go with the bull. I click on Titan's message thread and he's sent me several pictures of us together that I've never seen, early this morning ,but he never said anything.

Raye,Rhye and Mama T also text me asking if I'm ok. They said he's going crazy cussing them out and shit. Justice text asking if I'm ok and said the house is a wreck and that TyTy was crying for me this morning. My poor baby love. I swear sometimes it's like I gave birth to her myself.

I then go to my Instagram where I've been tagged in so many posts about me saying no to his proposal. From TMZ, The Shaderoom and more. I didn't think of how embarrassing this would be for him,but fuck that. This was actually better than my original plan which was to put him on blast for cheating and break up with him over the mic , but turning a man's proposal down in front of everyone he knows and loves, now that's more my style.

I click on a post that shows him and some of his niggas getting into a fight with some other niggas at a club last night. He does have hands I'll give him that , and another shows him shoving this Instagram model YaYa Banks whose always trying to throw shade in my comments, off his lap, her ass is always in his DMs. So that was hilarious to see.

Suddenly his face pops up on my screen, my heart skips a beat and I actually slide to answer.

"Baby girl?"

"Yes Titan."

"Damn, you still love a nigga huh?"

"Titan what's going on ,why are you acting crazy and where is my baby? Justice said she was crying for me."

"She aight, she with Rhye, and 'cause my beautiful ass wife left me , the fuck you think I was gonna do? And yo ass went all the way to New York like I can't snatch that ass back from anywhere in the world, you know who I am, keep fuckin' with me."

"Blah , blah, blah nigga are you stalking me?" I huff not surprised.

"Hell yea, the fuck you think this is?"

"Titan, you can't act like this ,what about the NBA?"

"The season ain't start yet, I'm good. Niggas need to let my ass grieve in peace."

"And why are you tearing up the mansion and being disrespectful to mama T and my sisters?"

"You really don't know what you do to a nigga huh?" He laughs.

"Well, if you really feel so strongly about me, then why did your ass cheat?"

"Cause I'm a dog ass nigga, I told you that."

"Well grow up and accept responsibility for your actions and stop throwing temper tantrums like a child!"

"Yea aight, let me take you out to dinner in Manhattan tonight, my lil city girl."

"What?" I scoff.

"I wanna give you something that's gon' change your life , but you gotta meet me at dinner, looking beautiful as fuck to get it."

"Titan."

"Nah, ain't no Titan, I'm sending a dress, some heels and jewelry to your hotel room, so be ready by 6 , a driver is gonna be waiting for you, and you know I'm always on time."

"Titan!"

"You'll never have to worry about me again after this, I promise baby, just let me do this shit for you. Please."

"Why do I feel like your going to kidnap me?" I sigh.

"You know I'm not gonna hurt your ass, stop the dumb shit."

"Fine."

"I love you. I'll see you tonight."

"I—" The line goes dead as he hangs up.

"Dinner in Manhattan, really?" Elle rolls over to face me.

"I knooow, do you think I should go?"

"What does your intuition say?"

"That he's not gonna hurt me , but just try some bs to get me back."

"That's what I was thinking." She yawns.

"I love how much he loves me but why did he cheat?"

"He's a man boo. Beyoncé got cheated on, Halle Berry, Paula Patton, men are just stupid, they don't care."

"True. Should I take him back?"

"Well, only you can be the judge of that, but hey if it were me I would."

"Really?"

"Hell yea, he's a multi millionaire whose in love with you ,and takes care of you financially so that you don't want for shit. What more could you ask for?"

"Umm, I don't know , a faithful ass nigga? Like what if he keeps doing it?"

"Niggas ain't faithful boo, you know this, but I don't think he'll cheat again after this, he's a different breed of nigga, but if he does, at least you'll be rich as fuck after you divorce him." She smiles.

"But I don't wanna look desperate or make it obvious that I'm with him for the money, what about the girls looking up to me?"

"Who cares, do you boo, it's your life. You didn't tell them to look up to you, hell, think of the power this nigga has, the things he can do for you, the connections, the luxury, the world travel, the financial freedom. You know this isn't easy for us to come by, especially as black women. Your super blessed boo, I mean yea he cheated but you could've cheated too, he's not your husband, shit your single until your married."

"Damn, your right."

"Maybe you'll meet a rich nigga out here and get back at his ass, I've been telling you this, get out of your emotions and into your bag boo."

"Ok, ok, I just wonder what he's gonna pull tonight."

"Who knows with him."

"You know, I really thought I would be angrier about this ,but I'm just like whatever, I—I want him back, I'm really in love and stupid Elle, like ewww!"

"Yea , well handsome niggas with Godly dick, and millions of dollars have a way of doing that to you." She laughs.

"I feel so stupid though. I should have more respect for myself!"

"You don't have to run back to him right this second, take your time, let's get our shit together and go from there, don't let him rush you."

"True."

"What do you want to do today until tonight? Look at this view!" She says as she stands in the window.

"Can you help me take this wig and braids out, I think I wanna wear my natural hair tonight, he's never seen it."

"Ooouuu okaaay! You know I love your hair, he's gonna fall in love alllll over again." She coos as I stand beside her resting my head on her shoulder.

"Uhgggg, this is a lot, like what are we really doing here?"

"Being free boo. Being free."