Orange

Five

Sundays were the only days where the Warehouse wasn't open. Everything else in Los Angeles was open, though. I usually relished my days off, but this one was an exception. This one, the world crashed down onto my shoulders.

It all started with a simple text message.

'My place?'

I blinked in surprise. Blaise almost never invited me to his place ever since I got my own apartment. And the few times that he did, we never had sex. So, upon realizing that this was a casual, friendly visit, I slipped on some simple black jeans and a baggy sweater, grabbing my umbrella before walking outside. It was pouring rain, a few people running back and forth through the streets to catch buses or taxes or acquaintances that passed them by. I ignored them all, listening to the thick splashes my boots made whenever they came into contact with the wet concrete. I only had to wait a few minutes before the bus came, in which I slid in my bus pass and sat down, relaxing for the twenty-minute ride. This time, nobody sat next to me. I didn't mind it, though; I kept my eyes peeled on the window, staring blankly out into the soggy world around me.

Eventually, I made it to Blaise's apartment complex. It was clean, crisp and stylistically colorful, with blue and green accents all around the outside of the building. It certainly was better looking than my simple white apartment complex. I walked inside, headed up the stairs onto the fourth floor and found Blaise's room. No hesitancy in sight, I knocked on the door, patiently waiting for him to allow me entry.

A few moments passed. I could have sworn I heard him talking to someone.

Finally, he opened the door, wide grin on his white skin.

"Clem!" he cheered, pulling me into a tight embrace. "I'm glad you made it! Come on in, I've got coffee brewing."

I walked inside, taking in the sweet smell of coffee and butterscotch. It was just... so Blaise. Everything about his apartment fit his aesthetic perfectly, from the bright red couches to the video game consoles on the floor by the television. I absorbed it all, relishing in everything that was my best friend.

That's when I realized something. There was someone sitting on the couch.

She was smiling at me, a sweet smile that reminded me of my mother when I was an adolescent. Dark brown skin that looked far richer than my own, with long wavy black hair that was pulled into a neat little topknot. The white dress she wore complemented her curvaceous body perfectly, dipping just low enough for the crease of her cleavage to be seen by all. Hints of a name rested on her left breast, but I wasn't close enough to see what it read. Then again, I really didn't have to see it to know what it said.

Blaise placed his hands on my shoulders, smiling shyly at me as he gestured to his guest.

"Clem, this is Eartha. We volunteer together over at the clinic. Eartha, this is Clementine."

The way her name rolled off his tongue was sickeningly sweet. Like his tongue was made just to say her name, and her name alone. Earth gave me a shy little wave, standing to her feet with her arms outstretched. I froze. My eyes kept darting all around the room—from Eartha, to my boots, to the window just across from us, to the video game consoles that Blaise and I used to play on together...

"Um," I suddenly spoke up as her hands touched my arms. "Hey. Nice to meet you."

She smiled, taking the hint. The woman lowered her arms, placing them behind her back as Blaise joined her side. The way her face was just in line with his neck, the way his hand rested perfectly along the curvature of her thick waist, the way they looked so goddamn happy together—all of it boiled my brain beyond comprehension. I could barely think, let alone breathe, as they gave a brief laugh together.

"Clem's been a close friend of mine ever since we were babies. We're best friends. So I thought 'Y'know what? It'd be awesome for you guys to finally meet!'"

Finally? I began to sweat, my smile trembling just a tad. How long have you known her?

Eartha beamed, putting a hand on her cheek with a girlish grin. "I've heard so much about you! Thank you so much for keeping Blaise here in check! I'm sure that without you, he would probably still trying to figure out how to ride the buses!"

"H-hey!" he exclaimed. "I figured that out on my own!"

She turned up to him to reply, but I could no longer hear their words. I was lost, trapped somewhere between time and space. I didn't know what to think. I didn't know what to do. So I just stood there, an awkward smile sitting on my face.

I knew this day was coming. I knew it for so long.

And yet I still let myself believe that Blaise would be the one to stay. That he would be one of the unlucky ones who never met his soulmate, and would break tradition by settling down with a Blank like me. But that didn't happen. The girl standing next to him was proof enough. She was suddenly so real, no longer just the name on Blaise's lower back, but a real human being. So kind, so sweet, with a laugh that could make anyone happy. She was so him.

I feigned a stomachache a few minutes later. I left his apartment. I walked in the rain with my umbrella tucked away in my hands, feeling the cold water splatter over my person as if my life depended on it. I just wanted to feel something. Something other than, well, whatever this was.

When I made it back to my apartment, I was completely soaked from head to toe. Just as the door closed behind me, I felt it—the breaking point. I crumbled down to the floor, fingers clawing at the shitty white tile flooring as tears trickled down my face. I resisted the urge to scream out, knowing that it would alert my neighbors. So, I opted for the silent approach, simply sobbing into my chest as much as I could without being overly annoying.

This was so much worse than I imagined this would feel. I gripped at my chest, clawing at my nameless chest and threw my head back in frustration, feeling the emotions sweep me off my feet.

It wasn't fair. This wasn't fair.

I knew that our relationship wouldn't last forever, but I didn't think it would end so suddenly. So plainly. So matter of fact. And it hurt. Dear fucking God, it hurt. I cried for what seemed like an eternity before my sobs became empty, before my fingernails no longer did enough damage to my skin, before everything just faded away. I laid my body down, exhausted from everything. I just wanted to sleep. Forever, maybe. Sleeping forever would be nice. No more crying. No more expectations. No more feelings. No more nothing. Just darkness that caressed your body like the most sensual of lovers, cooing sweet nothings into your ear as emptiness enveloped your core.