Mate//Werewolf Shawn Mendes

Chapter 30: Sad Goodbyes and Nightmares

"I don't love you anymore. She's so much better than you, not to mention prettier. She's soo much better for me, I don't even know why I ever bothered with you. I have so many girls now, I don't need you anymore. Stop calling me, if it wasn't clear, were through," Shawn said to me, a blonde bimbo on his arm.

My heart was crushed at his words, I literally was incapable of feeling anything beyond pain and sadness as my lungs gave out, causing me to stop breathing. Black dots spotted my vision, and soon, everything was black.

I woke up screaming. Another nightmare, about the 35th since he's left.

"Oh my god, are you okay?!" Cameron yelled, running into my room.

I sat up, sniffling and nodding. He and Nash have all but taken turns at lying with me after I had experienced a nightmare, their girlfriends understood so that wasn't of any conflict.

"No, you're not. Was it another nightmare?" He asked softly, sliding into the bed next to me and pulling me into him.

I laid my head on his chest, tears falling down my face as I nodded again.

It's been almost a month and a half since he left, and we've skyped, texted, and called everyday since then. I missed him so much, and don't think that I hadn't forgotten how bad it was for my health that I wasn't with him.

"Emiko, you need to tell him," he said softly, as if he was afraid I'd break at any moment.

"Cam, you know I can't. This is his dream, I can't take that away from him because of some stupid nightmare," I explained, nearly pleading.

"Em, you've been having nightmares nearly every night since he's left, and your health is dwindling. Has he seen you like this?" He asked, pointing to my prominent ribcage and deep purple under eye bags.

I had lost nearly 20 pounds from not eating, and I hadn't slept for more than 6 hours total since he had left. Every time I closed my eyes another nightmare plastered itself into my brain, all about how Shawn didn't love me anymore.

He was having so much fun, I couldn't ruin that for him.

"You need to go to a doctor, Emiko. We're all worried about you. It isn't healthy to be away from him this long," Cam said, his chocolate brown eyes darkened with worry and concern.

"Don't you think I know that?" I said harshly, his face falling.

"I'm sorry, Cam. I love you all, but if he knew what state I was in he'd fly right back here and cancel the tour, and that's not fair," I said.

"Just think about it, okay? Now go to sleep, you haven't slept in ages," he said, allowing me to cuddle into him.

"Are you okay, baby?" Shawn asked me the next morning, our early Skype call just in time.

Nobody understood how badly I wanted to say no. That I was not okay, that I wasn't happy, or eating, or sleeping, and that I missed him too much, almost too much to function. But I didn't. I had said the very thing that I had promised him I would never say when it was a lie.

"I'm fine," I replied, trying to brighten my eyes.

He was starting to notice. It was also getting harder to fake it.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" He asked me suspiciously.

"Of course," I replied, trying not to sound as tired and drained as I felt.

I don't know how I would last these next 2 and a half months without him.

"Shawn! We need you in the studio!" Austin yelled, from somewhere in the distance.

"Okay!" Shawn said, turning back to me.

"I guess that means I have to go, beautiful. I love you princess," he said, grinning at me.

"I love you too, Shawn," I replied, genuinely smiling because of his happiness.

"Bye beautiful," he said, waving and clicking the 'end call' button, exiting out of our Skype call.

I sighed, upset to be back to missing him constantly.

I was glad that our relationship had grown stronger, or I'd probably be dead. Shawn told me when we first got together that we could be away from each other for a certain amount of hours, but when our relationship was more stable we'd have more time.

I think it was starting to take a toll on me.

"Emiko! Breakfast is ready!" Nash yelled, hugging me when I entered the kitchen.

I smiled weakly at him, sitting down.

I pushed around my eggs for a while, slightly nibbling my toast.

"You need to eat," Nash said sternly.

I shook my head, standing up.

"I'm going to have to tell Shawn if you keep doing this, you know," he said softly, touching my shoulder.

I ran out of the house, seeing Cam on the porch talking on his phone.

"She needs you, are you coming tonight? She's gonna freak. Yeah, she'll love it," he whispered into the phone, quickly ending the call when he saw me.

"Hey Emiko, did you hear any of that?" He asked nervously, slipping his sleek black iPhone into his back pocket.

I shook my head, bounding down the steps silently.

"Emiko!" Cam said, chasing me as I started walking down the road.

"Walk with me," I said simply, slowing down a bit so he could catch up.

"What happened?" He asked, hands in his pockets.

"Nothing, I just needed some fresh air," I answered, glaring at the bright sun that was obliterating my line of vision.

"You know I'm your best friend and I can tell when you're upset right? I can also tell that you've been upset since he left," he said softly, stopping me.

I felt my lungs constrict, the oxygen I was taking in unable to reach my brain. I wasn't sure exactly what was happening, all I knew was that I was definitely not okay. I had a feeling it had something to do with the mate bond and my recent struggle to eat and sleep, that can take quite a large toll on a person.

"Em? Emiko!" Cameron yelled, but it sounded as if he was miles away.

I was falling, and I felt him catch me as I spit out a rusty tasting liquid onto the pavement, which if I'm recalling correctly, was blood.

"Can't...breathe," I gasped, spitting our more blood as I felt him lift me up and start running back to the house.

"Nash! Someone! Call an ambulance!" I heard Cameron sobbing as he entered the house frantically, but everything was in a haze.

My body was in shock, I had concluded. I could hear better than usual, so I heard the conversation Nash and Shawn were having on the phone at that moment.

"Cameron! Oh my god, Emiko! What happened?!? Oh my god, what happened?!" Nash yelled, starting to cry.

I guess he didn't realize Shawn was still on the phone.

"What?!? What happened?! Is she okay?!" Shawn roared through the phone, my consciousness fading as the seconds passed.

"Shawn, you need to get here now. I don't know if she's gonna make it, man," Taylor sobbed through the phone as Nash took Cameron's phone to call an ambulance.

The last thing I heard was Shawn's sobbing, and then the world fade away.