High school With My Fiance|✔

Chapter 18

Xavier yanked me outside the school and around the corner where no one could hear us. Stopping he let go off my elbow giving a little force.

I stop a few feet away from him, standing my ground facing him as the wind blew around us. It wasn't sunny. It was the weather you get when you know it isn't going to rain but still it is all breezy.

"What is wrong with you?" He asked finally after a minute of looking into each other's eyes.

I crossed my arms over my chest and huffed out some air, "What is wrong with me? Why don't you ask that question to yourself? What is wrong with you?"

"I am not the one behaving weird." He answered just as loudly as my voice.

"I am, right? I am the one behaving weird and different."

"W-well yes you are. I admitted in front of the whole school that you are my fiance what else do you want?"

I took a deep breath, is this all what this was about, "Do you really think this is what I wanted? I never wanted it! I could have told that to everyone if I wanted."

"Then what is it?!" He asked frustrated running his hands through his hair.

"You really don't know?" I stepped closer to him, "Why didn't you pick my call up yesterday?"

"What call? I never got any call." He looked around trying to avoid eye contact.

"Lie. You are lying. I called you. The bell rang but you never picked up." I took more steps towards him before I was standing in front of him while the air still blew around us making our hair blow in another direction,

"Do you know how scared I was? It was late at night! I-I," I felt my throat choke up at just imagining the night but I ignored it and took a deep breath, "I didn't know who to call... they were following me. I called everyone I trusted! Thst included you Xavier. I was sure you would definitely pick my call up. But just like all the times...you let me down! Why?! WHY XAVIER? WHY DO YOU PROVE ME WRONG ALL THE TIME? ALL THE TIME THAT I TRY TO CONVINCE MYSELF THAT YOU DON'T HATE ME. IT'S JUST THAT YOU NEED TIME. YOU DO SOMETHING THAT TELLS ME OTHERWISE. YOU MAKE ME WANNA HATE YOU IN THE END!" I ended up yelling at him still standing in front of him and punching his chest.

I could see his expressions change. His hair were all stuck out of all the times he passed his hands through them. His eyes, they were not their normal hazel. Infact they were dark. Before I could hit him again he took hold of my hands
His grip tight around my wrist. I tried to get my hands out but all he did was tightened them more,

"THEN DO IT. HATE ME. WHY ARE YOU STOPPING YOURSELF?!" He yelled back at me shaking me a little.

"CAUSE I CANNOT!" I yelled pushing his hands away from me, "NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY I CANNOT HATE YOU. RESIST YOU. I DON'T WANT TO LOVE YOU BUT I CANNOT HELP IT!" I stopped taking deep breaths from all the yelling.

I looked at Xavier who was looking back at me astounded.

"You confuse me." I pulled my hair out looking at him, "I don't understand you. One minute you make me feel special and the another you treat me like crap! I am no puppet of yours that you'll treat me however you want. I have feeling too!...If you hate me let me know! Don't care for me. Just don't confuse me more. I cannot hate you. But I cannot also love you without hating you. Fuck. It doesn't even make sense. That's how bad you have gotten into me. I talk shit. I do shit."

"Do you really think so low of me?" He asked. Hurt a little evident in his voice.

"You make me feel so! Don't you hate me?! If no, then why do you confuse me?"

"I don't." He said frustrated, "I am not confusing you. I don't know how I feel!What do you expect me to do? Love you like we know each other best? What do you expect from a guy who is contracted to marry a girl without even knowing her personality."

"You know me!"

"I knew you as a child! People change Liya! I have changed. You have changed. For all you know we might not be for each other. Have you ever experienced true love?"

I nod at him. He shook his head, "Not the one that the contract is making you feel. But the real love. Where there are no boundaries. It doesn't bind you. It just happens. You cannot help falling for them. I want that! I want to fall in love not be contracted into one! I want to feel all that. And I want to be the one to choose who I want her to be!"

So this is all it was in Xavier's heart. He indeed never loved me. He didn't feel anything towards me. He...He never hated me. But never felt anything either. Maybe I was always just his friend. A childhood friend. I don't know what hurts more the fact that Xavier doesn't love me or the fact that he doesn't hate me either. He just doesn't care.

Xavier might feel that this was all an illusion. That I didn't love him. But my heart knows that I do.

"Have you never felt anything towards me? Ever?" I asked softly. Feeling myself breaking a little.

He kept quiet. The cold Xavier which I usually encountered was much better than a speechless Xavier right now.

He opened his mouth, "I don't know, okay? I don't know how I feel."

Now it was my turn to look at him speechless. I didn't know what to say. It was true that knowing the fact that Xavier didn't love me was crushing me. And I also know that if I want I can still have him because of the contract. But I am not selfish. I love him. I am not possessive. I want him to love me. Not by force but by his own choice.

"What about this...I leave you?" I said out of no where staring into his hazel eyes.

He looked at me confused, "What do you mean?"

"You want to find a girl to fall in love with, right? I am leaving you. You are free. Date anyone you want. Try as many girls out as you want. If you do find a girl you fall in love with, I'll be the one to break the contract."

He still looked at me confused. As if not believing what I was saying, "There's gotta be a catch."

"You won't stop me. While you date other girls I'll still try my best to wrench your heart open for love. I'll try to make you fall in love with me."

I took a few steps away from him and extended my hand out for him, "Mr Reed, do you accept it?"

Xavier looked at my hand contemplating before nodding subtly and putting his large warm hands into mine. I couldn't help but notice the way they fitted so perfectly. He clutched it tight giving a shake,

"Ofcourse. I'll try my best to find the girl I want to fall in love with." He said mischievously. A smirk on his face.

A gust of wind blew around us as I took my hand away from his warm ones, "And I'll make sure it is me you fall in love with."

"We'll see."

"We'll see."
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