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Nasir walked up the street to his house from Nola's house. They had their usual homework session which ran a little late. He didn't mean to be so late coming home but Nana Grace told him it was fine. He usually would try to be home by at least 7 to help take care of Papa Steve.
Back in October he was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. It had taken its toll quickly and aggressively. It hurt Nas to see his Grandfather go from his usual jovial self to a more weak and frail version. His grandmother tried her best to be positive but Nas could tell she was worried. He sighed and shook his head as he unlocked the door and walked into the house.
"Pops! Nana! I'm home!" He dropped his bag at the door and jogged up the stairs to his grandfathers room. He had to stay in his own room now due to how sensitive he was to everything. Plus all the equipment he had to keep hooked up all day.
"Nas..how's my favorite grandson doing?" Pops smiled seeing him walk into the room. The two of them shared a special bond. Nas looked up to his grandfather as a father figure. "I'm ya only grandson Pops!" Nas said laughing.
"How's my granddaughter in law?" He asked. Nas felt his face get hot as his hand shot up to neck. "Uh..Nola is fine. I told you to stop calling her that." Pops had noticed the little looks and smiles that Nas would give Nola when she wasn't looking. Nas was just afraid. Afraid of being abandoned and left heartbroken just like his parents did 16 years ago.
"You should ask her out." Papa Steve said. "Nah, I can't do that. It would be weird.." Nas looked down at the floor and back up at this grandfather. Papa steve coughed a little and looked at his grandson with a small smile. "Don't be dumb Nas. You don't feel that way for no reason. I thought I raised you to be smart?" The two shared a laugh.
"We'll see pops." Nas walked out of the room to avoid talking about Nola any further and went to his room. He laid across his bad and took a deep breath. "Nola's too good for me. She got parents, she got shit going for her.., and she's too pretty. What would she look like with somebody like me?" He thought to himself . Nas pushed his feelings deep down to avoid growing too emotional. Nola was his best friend and he didn't wanna lose her.
JANUARY 2016, 10:15PM
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Nas sat in his grandfathers car in the driveway with his head in his hands. He felt like he was in a bad dream and wanted to wake up. A light knocking on the window caused him to look up.
There was Nana Gracie.
She pulled the passenger door open and got inside. "You alright?" She had a sad look on her face and she looked tired. "No." Nas mumbled.
"I'm gonna miss him too Nas...you not alone in this. This is hard but we got each other." She grabbed her grandsons hand and squeezed it.
"But why? Why did it have to be him?" Nas was angry and confused. How would life go on without Papa Steve? Who would be there to crack jokes in the morning? Who would put that smile on Nana Grace's face? How was Nas supposed to learn to be a man? Why did it have to be Pops?
Nas sucked his teeth and punched the steering wheel. How the fuck was he gonna take care of his grandmother? He was in his head and Gracie could tell. "I'll be inside if you need to talk Nas. I love you." He nodded his head and she left the car to go into the house.
Nasir sat in the car staring at the house as he reminisced on memories with Papa Steve.. he was distracted by someone getting in the car. He didn't need to turn his head to see who it was. He could tell by the smell of her perfume filling the air. She always smelled good.
"Nas? Hey..." Her voice cracked a little even though she tried to sound normal. "You okay?" She asked touching his arm. A tingle went through his body as he finally turned and looked at Nola. He shook his head. "Get in the back." He demanded. She did as told and climbed to the back with Nas right behind her. She sat and tossed her feet up on the arm rest. Nas nestled his head in her lap and closed his eyes. He felt a little more relieved with her presence.
"Nola?" he spoke while keeping his eyes closed. "Yes Nasir?" She responded. He could tell she was crying so he grabbed her hand. "Everything gon be good right?" "Eventually.." Her voice trailed off as she spoke. "Don't leave me aight?" Nola's eyes widened. She'd never seen Nas so vulnerable. It wasn't much but it was more than usual.
"I got chu Nas.."
The two best friends sat in the car in silence for the rest of the night. Just absorbing the others presence.
Nola would look at Nas laying in her lap and feel her face get hot. They were as close as close could be. She was grateful to have such a good friend but she yearned to have a deeper relationship. Nas was still pushing his feelings deep down and away from sunlight. He refused to ruin anything. He would constantly talk himself out of any emotions.
Nas laid there with his eyes closed smelling Nola's sweet perfume. Even though he was calm outside, he was a raging storm inside. He was angry and he felt that empty feeling he felt when he found out about his parents.
"Shit gonna be different now..."
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