She lays awake in bed, starring at the ceiling with a blank expression, thoughts consuming her mind. Every twisted, frightened thought she's ever had was consuming her. Words tearing her skin apart, tearing everything apart. Silence fading away while chaos and whispers began to rise inside.
Almost every night as she lays awake in bed, slowly drifting away, doubt and losses visit. Fear rises inside, memories begin to close in, the terror begins to surround her. The demons inside her take a hold of her as she screams and fights, making her more scared of her own thoughts than anything else.
She shifts her gaze from the ceiling to her window, the moonlight shining in through her white curtains. She slowly gets up, removing the blanket off of her body. Her feet touch the floor as she takes a step and grabs her journal. She takes a seat on the window seat, looking out into the night sky. She opens it up to a blank page, she exhales before she begins to write.
my head is a mess, the only thing i'm good at is destroying myself
i'm so sick of feeling this way
waking up in the morning just knowing that it's going to be the same
I just want to disappear.
She wishes that others can know exactly how she feels, to know how broken she really is that she's not a perfect normal girl, never was. Most of all she wants him to know the pain he has caused her, the memories still haunting her. He's one of the reasons why she's a broken damaged girl.
The pain inside her is slowly killing her, the torture is slowly ripping her apart, her thoughts haunting her that it hurts so bad that she just wants to end it all.
Her mind drifts to him, she always ends up thinking about him when she knows she shouldn't. No matter what it's always him. She wonders how he's doing? If he has a girlfriend? Is he happy? He's definitely living a better life than her right? He did end up leaving, ghosting her, he's away from her so he doesn't have to deal with her problems anymore. He's 353 miles away from her, far far away but he's way closer to her than she thinks, real close.
--
"Hey" said Ayla once she saw Millie walking to the kitchen. She placed down a cup of tea in front of Millie. "You're still coming on Friday right?"
Millie furrowed her eyebrows until she remembered what she was talking about "Yes of course. I'll be there"
"You totally had forgotten about it" said Ayla rolling her eyes playfully as she poured herself some cereal.
"I did not." she said "I'll be there, promise"
Ayla nodded as she continued eating her cereal and Millie drank her tea, before heading back to her room she grabbed an apple.
Friday finally came, Millie was at Starbucks getting a drink before heading to the small venue that Ayla and the band would be playing at. As she was leaving she bumped into Connor. She quickly apologized, they ended up having a small talk. She ended up staying there longer than she anticipated and was now running a bit late to Ayla's bands gig.
She sent Ayla a quick message telling her that she was on her way. She groaned that she wasn't able to go home and change to make herself more presentable. She was wearing dark washed jeans, a red simple blouse and her sneakers.
She finally arrived, her drink half empty since she walked and took breaks in between to savor her drink. When she made it there, there were more people than she thought would be there. It was a small place, it was decorated with colorful lights, smoke machines at the end of the stage. There was a bar at the side, the stage right in the center with big lights flashing at the performers.
She looked on stage smiling as she saw Ayla playing her guitar and singing the lyrics. The main singer and guitarist had his back turned to the audience, he was dancing which she noticed that he was awful at making her laugh softly.
But something about his raspy voice had her attention. She really liked it even though the music wasn't something that she actually listened to, it was nice, it was different.
She swayed to the music with her eyes closed feeling the music. She was all the way in the back and the fact that she didn't bring her glasses didn't help the fact that she seriously couldn't make out any of the other band mates faces.
Once they had finished the performance and were taking a break she made her way to the back where she met up with Ayla.
"Millie you actually came" she said as she hugged her.
"Of course I did" she said pulling away from her embrace. She threw her empty drink away, before Ayla grabbed her had guiding her to the back room. When she opened the door she saw two boys sitting on the couch making her wonder where the third boy was at.
"This is Malcolm and jack" Ayla said pointing to the guys "This is Millie"
"Hi. It's nice to meet you guys" she said waving sheepishly, standing there a bit uncomfortable since meeting new people was a bit awkward for her.
The door opened, making a slight noise. Ayla smiled as she saw who had entered the room.
"Oh and this is our lead singer and guitarist" she turned around coming face to face with no other than Finn Wolfhard.
--
k this chapter was actually "good"
IT'S SADIES BIRTHDAY, (literally the only reason why i updated) omg she's 18 ahh.
vote, and comment
k bye
YOU ARE READING
Normal//fillie
FanfictionA year has passed and so much has changed for starters they are all in college some are closer than others. They've grown up and with that comes change, changes that you wouldn't believe. Millie is still fighting her battle that everyone thought she...
