Becoming Ryan-Leigh(Unedited)

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"Mama, what's this heifer doing here?' Naomi asks. Anger and hatred laced through her words.

"She was just about to explain why she's here?" Mom says with her hands crossed against her chest.

"Kenya, I'm deeply sorry for what I did to you. I don't know what the fuck came over me. You're more of a women then I'll ever be. I don't think I could ever raise someone else's child as my own and I thank you for that because you've done an amazing job. I know what I'm about to ask is completely absurd but can you please forgive me? I know it might take a long time for you to forgive me but I just want you to know that I'm deeply sorry. And you Ryan," she says looking at me," I hope you can forgive me someday too. I've done many things in my life, achieved a lot but you're my greatest achievement. I wish I could have been more present in your life but I made a good decision by giving you up because Kenya has done an amazing job. Uhm, I'm sorry for the intrusion, I'm going to go now."

"Wait!" Mom says.

"We all make mistakes in life. But now that child you're carrying right now is your chance to rectify your mistakes. There's no perfect parent out there. Just do what works for you."

"How did you know?" Amara asks surprised.

Mom laughs before saying, "I've had four kids, I just know. Congratulations by the way."

"Thanks." Still surprised Amara walks out the door leaving mom, Naomi and I in the foyer.

"So that just happened." Austin says as he walks past the foyer to the library.

"You okay, Ry?" Mom asks.

"I'm fine. I'm just going to go take a shower." With that said I walk up the stairs and into the room I've been sharing with Nai. Numbly and absentmindedly, I enter the shower and i just let the water hit me. After a while I found myself sitting on the shower floor, crying my eyes out. I cried because I never thought I'd hear Amara apologise. I cried because I realised how fortunate I was to have a mother like Kenya and the siblings I have. I cried because I felt like I had a weight lifted off my shoulders. I just let out all the emotions I had bottled up. After my little sobbing session, I walk out the shower and put on a fluffy black gown and walk out the bathroom and find my mom sitting on the bed. I wonder if she heard that.

"You okay baby?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. Thank you mama. I don't think I say it often. But thank you." I say as I pull her into a hug.

"I love you Ryan and I always will, okay?"

Since I'm snuggled up into her neck, a muffled okay is heard.

"GROUP HUG!!" I hear before we are attacked from all angles.

"SMITH-JORDAN CRY!!" Austin screams.

"Smith-Jordan cry?" Jesse questions confused.

"Just watch babe." Naomi says. We quickly get in formation, oldest to youngest, before Mom starts.

"GIMME AN S!"

"GIRL YOU GOT YOUR S, YOU GOT YOUR S!" We scream after.

"GIMME A M!"

"GIRL YOU GOT YOUR M, YOU GOT YOUR M!"

"GIMME A I!"

"GIRL YOU GOT YOUR I, YOU GOT YOUR I!"

"GIMME A T!"

"GIRL YOU GOT YOUR T, YOU GOT YOUR T!"