Path To Resolution (Fighter's Den, #5)

Chapter 31 - Melanie

"Hey," Aria sits up straighter on the couch when I come downstairs. I rub my bleary eyes just as a yawn gets the better of me. I slept maybe an hour, hour and a half. Even then I kept tossing and turning because my brain was fighting sleep the entire time. I couldn't relax enough to actually rest my eyes.

"Hey," I sit beside her and yawn again. "Did you sleep any better than me?"

She snorts and points to the bags under her eyes. "What do you think?"

My lips tug up sadly. "Yeah. I just want them home already."

"Me too, thottie. A couple of more hours to go and we can hear from them."

"Do you think they did it? Killed Kane?"

"I don't know. You know Wolfe better than me but I think he wouldn't be able to go through with something like that."

"Yeah," I agree quietly, thinking of the big guy. I know he's had his share of dark thoughts and urges but at the core he's too pure. Too forgiving and kind to do something like that. The thought of him makes my heart ache and I swallow down the tightness in my throat. "Do you think they're okay?"

Aria opens her arms when my tears get the better of me and I lean forward, hugging her back and burying my face in her shoulder. I feel her rub my back in circles as she speaks through a thick voice. "I hope so."

"It's so fucking hard," I admit with a whisper. "Loving someone. All I ever think about is losing him. I feel like it's too good to be true that I'll have forever with him and it haunts me all the fucking time."

"Me too," She sighs and hugs me tighter. "It's not easy but you have to break yourself off from that mindset. You can't let your fear stop you from loving someone completely. What's the point of loving if you're not in it one-hundred percent?"

"But how?" I pull away and scooch to the back of the couch. I suddenly feel defensive. "I love Wolfe but every time I look at him I wonder when he's going to leave me. I wonder if he'll eventually get tired of me or not want me someday or fall out of love with me. Why am I so fucking scared all the time?"

She looks down at her hand thoughtfully, twisting her engagement ring around her finger. "Because loving someone is terrifying. Putting yourself out there and being vulnerable is a freaking nightmare. They make it sound so magical in the movies and the books but in real life it's a straight up terror. In real life, there's no guarantee of a happy ending or a happily ever after. But while movies and books are fiction, life is the real thing. Whatever you end up with, whether it's a happily ever after or a really nasty heartbreak, at least it's real and a token to show that you've lived. That you're living. Go live, Lenny. Be scared, go out of your mind, but feel all those things because you actually get to. Let all those things remind you that you're alive after everything you've been through and that in itself is the best fucking happily ever after you can ask for. Anything that comes after that is a bonus."

I look down and draw my knees up to my chin, staring at my feet. "You're right. I know I'm blessed to have everything I have after what I've been through. And I'd rather be scared and have him than run away from my feelings and be alone. It just scares me how much I love him. I never thought I'd be in this position."

"I remember," Her voice is laced with amusement and I look up to find her smiling at me. "All those times you insisted you'd never want a man or that falling in love was for pussies. The shit you give me and Asher for being disgustingly attached to each other. You're no better than we are, you know that?"

"I know," I admit with a laugh and look away when I feel my cheeks grow warm with embarrassment. God, I used to be such a skeptic when it came to love. I was convinced it would always be me against the world. "I never saw him coming."