Secrets (BxB) ✅

3: consequences

A/N: FINALLY UPDATED!! 🎉 Get excited for the apparition of you favourite characters from Checkmate!!! 😉

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Zedd

I unrolled my avocado wrap from its plastic wrapping as the others shared a story from their previous class. It was the gang, but not complete. It won't be complete again, not with Axel gone. I guess that was my fault. But I never pushed him to move seating. We never even talked after he came out. He just assumed that I would hate him. I'm pretty sure everyone thinks I hate him. I don't though. It's more complicated than that.

Julie was sitting next to me, Ethan was on my left. A couple more girls from the cheerleader team and soccer boys were piled on to our table but they weren't as really part of a close-knit group. Mitch sat in front of me, much to my annoyance. I couldn't be around him anymore without feeling uncomfortable. I avoided looking at him or directly answering him, even though I could feel his gaze, curious, hurt and insistent on my face as I pretended to be interested in Ethan's story and nibbled my lunch.

He let out a big sigh and I quickly darted a glance at him. He was looking down at his lunch, his lips pursed in frustration. I grit my teeth in self-disgust as my eyes trailed over his sharp jawline before returning to his soft-looking lips. They flickered up to his eyes and I froze as I met his caramel-coloured irises. I wanted to look away immediately but couldn't. He seemed to be trying to appeal to me with his eyes. I knew I was hurting him by blocking him out. But I couldn't let him get close. I couldn't. It made me sick to think about what happened, that time in the changing rooms. I hadn't showered there since then. I couldn't. It made me want to die.

I tore my eyes away from him and returned my avocado roll. Which didn't seem nearly so appetising now. The lunch I had already eaten seemed to coalesce into a cement lump in my stomach. I wish I could just leave. I wanted to scream. I wanted to hit something. Badly.

"It's such a shame that Axel doesn't sit with us anymore," sighed Ethan, "I miss him, he always enjoyed my stories."

I froze. Ethan might not have meant to but I couldn't help but hear an accusation in his statement.

"It's true that it feels like something's missing," agreed Mitch.

"Well have you heard?" Julie looked up from her phone, "There's a new boy coming this week and he's in our year. Apparently he has a soccer scholarship so he'll be joining you guys."

"What?" I yelped, "They can't make us start training with a new guy! The team dynamics will be messed up! And the season is about to start!"

"I don't know anything about that," Julie shrugged, "But I hope he's hot."

Ethan rolled his eyes even though we all knew that Julie wasn't as much as a slut as she let on.

"We'll just have to wait and see," he said, "If he got a scholarship then he must be pretty amazing. He might just help us top the charts this season."

"We don't need a newbie to top the charts," Mitch grunted, "We're all pretty damn good and we've been training our arses off since the beginning of the year."

I agreed with Mitch but wasn't going to say that out loud.

"And anyway, we couldn't replace Axel," Ethan sighed.

I glared at the table and tried to control myself. And failed.

"Why don't you go sit with him if you miss him so much?" the words were out of my mouth before I had thought them through.