One night stand-Zayn Malik

Chapter 34- Messed up //Part 1//

The night was just beginning but I felt tired. All I wanted to do was to crawl under a blanket and fall asleep. What was going on with me? Was that boy sinking all the energy away from me? I needed to keep on working, be there when the clothes needed fixing and find something for them to wear when they did interviews. I needed to keep on living life. Why was it so hard suddenly?

" Tara?"

I opened my eyes and stared into the dark. Just his voice made my heart skip a beat and the tiny hairs to rise on my hands.

" Why am I always begging you to open some hotel doors" I heard him mumble on the other side of the door. Why did he always give me a reason to not open the door?

" I have to tell you something" He stopped and I heard him sigh.

" I really don't want to hear it Zayn so go" I closed my eyes again and tried to think of something else but he was giving me a hard time. He kept knocking, calling my name, telling me to listen to him.

"Fine" I whispered angry to myself as he opened the door and looked right into his eyes. If looks could kill Zayn would be dead by now.

" I have a reason" Was all he could say.

" Alright bye" I was about to slam the door at his face but he stepped inside and turned on the lights.

" I give up Zayn alright? You want to be with her? Do it. She's not my business and you are certainly not my business" It was so hard to say that to his face but I had to. I gave up.

" I can't keep on fighting for you when you want to be with her. This is way too hard for me and I'm far away from home and I just can not deal with this right now"

" Look at me"

Zayn cut me off. I stopped talking and started to study Zayn out. He looked tired again, sad, and miserable. Just like the night I met him first. But at that time I could barely see his eyes but enough to tell that he was tired. His hair was messier, clothes seemed a little bit bigger on him than before and the way he let his hands hang down looked like he had given up too.

" I am miserable without you"

He did it again. I turned around and ran my fingers through my hair.

" What do you want from me ! " I didn't notice that I was yelling until I saw the look on his face. I didn't even notice that I had turned around.

" This is so messed up" Zayn whispered and bit his lower lip like he was nervous.

" No seriously let me make this easy for you Zayn" I stormed to the door and opened it. He didn't seem surprised. Just sad.

" Where is she?" I asked and held tight to the door knob.

" I asked Liam to take a walk with her outside" He said like he was ashamed.

" Go...go outside and find her. Kiss her and love her and marry her, like you were going to do in the beginning"

" Please Tara stop it" He said without looking at me but I just couldn't. I wanted to make him feel bad. Bad for telling me that his choice was me but later choosing her.

" No seriously ! Let her sit in your lap and place small kisses on her neck as she runs her fingers through your hair" My mouth was talking but it felt like I was just standing there, waiting for him to walk through the door.

" Tara...stop.talking" He finally looked at me. He was taking deep breaths and I swear that I could see blue veins appear on his neck and his eyes getting darker.

" Find her, undress her, love her..... fuck her" I said calmly. I was making this way worse but he deserved it. He deserved to feel guilty.

" Shut the fuck up Tara" He answered just as calmly but his heart was probably going to jump out of his chest.

" What? Does this sound too attempting or does it sound too fucking familiar? Because you are free to walk out of the door right now and you are not committed to me but you are to her so please just walk away right-"

" She is pregnant"