Let's play (reincarnated) (Past R27 khr) (Merlin bbc Merthur)

15. Emotional turmoil

Merlin was frustrated now. It was something that he should know but this was just making him feel frustrated. Two months since he had time to talk to Arthur. The male was constantly on meeting up to meetings and more meetings.

It was this time Renato instead of him. But still that Arthur was now that busy made him moody. It made him feel like the male was avoiding him. But he held it in knowing that he was now king and needed to take care of things. That was why he gave Arthur a nod and holding it in.

Trying not to seem needy and childish. But his emotions got the best of his and this would be shown now. His eyes mouth twitched down. He sat there and seeing Arthur leave made him feel the need to grip on shirt. But it led to him tripping and ending up pulling down the shorts.

"Merlin!" A squeak was coming out of Arthur in surprise and he still hold onto it as Arthur was trying to walk away.

"Your majesty don't leave me!" He screamed and not wanting his boyfriend to go now.

"Eh?" Was all that Arthur said, head turned around and he could see the blush adorning over his cheeks. Yet he holds on tightly not wanting to let go. Because when he would, Arthur would leave again.

It reminded him too much on the time of were he had to leave Arthur and now he just felt the fear that something could happen to him. It was a sudden thought that struck him. So that it ended up in him crying now. Because he felt like he would die.

"Re-Ren-chan..." He hiccupped now and couldn't get something out. All that escaped were sobs and hiccups.

The male turned around and he felt himself suddenly being scooped up in a hug. By now his grip left him and he was crying harder now. It was just that he felt again one of his emotional days. But now that he bottled his emotions up, he couldn't stop himself from crying.

"Okay, shh it's fine. Everything is going just fine." Arthur soothed him, but he shook his head starting to get more hysterical.

This seemed to make Arthur pick him now up and he soon ended up on the bed. With him on his lap arms pulling him close and a hand going through his hair. Head into the shoulder of the male and he sobbed into it. Fabric wet by now, but he couldn't stop the crying.

Even with Arthur trying to assure him that everything was just fine and that he should breathe in and out calmly it wasn't working. He wasn't sure what was going on, but he just couldn't stop crying. By now things starting to float as he got more upset.

His sky flames lashing out as well, calling for his rain out. Because this was the only person who can calm him down. When not, even his boyfriend can then his rain should manage. It took not even 2 minutes for the door opened.

Then someone scooping him into a hug, and he felt rain attribute starting to work in calming him down. They ended up making him feel sleepy. The tears slowly dried and all that were at the end sniffles. He felt his eyes more than once drop but wasn't asleep yet. He switched places soon with Arthur and he gripped on the fabric. "Arty..." It was said softly, and eyes then dropped close falling asleep being emotionally drained of his crying.

"I am here, shhh." That reassuring sentence was the last thing he registered before he ended up in lala land.

.

.

.

Someone was going through his hair in a soothing way. His body was curled into the side and something wrapped over him. It felt like a blanket. Eyes soon opened and he felt just still emotionally drained.

All that he felt right now was exhaustion, no hunger, and no thirst. But pure exhaustion. It was clear why and he felt still bad for that childish temper tantrum he had. This wasn't something that should happen but yet here he had ended up making one.

"Hey, you want to explain what caused it?" It was asked softly, and his gaze went over to Arthur. The male looked at him with pure adoration, yet concern was also in it.

"I just missed you and you were busy. I get it and I am sorry for holding you up." His voice soft and full understanding because he knows how it was.

A mafia boss was as busy as a king, so he got it. That was why he shouldn't make amends and asked him to stay. The male for sure had better things to do than staying with.

"I feel like the biggest jerk on earth right now. I am really sorry Tsuna." It was said with a guilt-ridden yet apologetic tone. Even the expression was the same. "I knew something was upsetting you, but the council was making amends and I ended up having no time to check on you." The same tone was said as he explained.

"I will take off at least a day or two and this will just for us two. Council can wait." An announcing tone was this time and a huff was heard after the sentences were said.

"You sure?" His voice was soft yet hopeful because he missed Arthur and wanted to have some time alone with him.

"Yes, now let's first eat something and then go back to sleep. Tomorrow we go out for a picnic." It was said softly, and he nodded. The two ended up eating with Arthur from time to time feeding him something. It was both embarrassing yet made his heart flutter in joy.

Then they changed clothes and their legs entangled with each other, both holding each other and his head on the chest of the other male. The calm and steady heartbeat lulled him back to sleep and he couldn't help but feel better now.

The next morning...

His eyes opened slowly and he instantly starting to freak out when Renato wasn't there. Heart thundering and he felt on the brink of a panic attack. Why he was suddenly starting to have an irrational fear of losing the male, he had no idea, but he just felt like the male left him.

Oh. Now he got it. He realized why he had that breakdown. It was the fear of losing him. The fear of Arthur rejecting him. Now that he had that realization he starting to cry again. Pain hit him once more and he couldn't help but feel emotional once again. It was something that would never really get away and he was just fearing that he wouldn't get over this at all.

His body rolled together, and he sniffed now and trying not to get more emotional. Trying his very best not to break down but he failed again. The door got opened and he just couldn't care anymore. He was done with fighting right now.

Done with pushing these negative feelings away. Just done in general. How could damage like this just disappear? It should have been obvious that he wouldn't be better that soon. It should have been clear that he would end up breaking down like this. Soon someone pulled him into his chest.

A hand going soothingly through his hair and some reassuring nothingness was whispered into his ears. His arms hugging back and feeling even more emotional. So that he cried even more now. His emotional state was just not well right now.

But soon he calmed down and all that could be heard were sniffles. Arthur was heard letting out a sigh and the hug left. His gaze was avoiding the other once and he knew that he was trying to get him to talk.

"Alright, I need to know what your thought process is right now." His voice was soft yet stern. So that he couldn't help but slowly look at Arthur.

"I thought that you left me...I just felt that you would- why are you-..." He couldn't even get something out as his throat felt like it was tightening around him.

"I love you and I really do. Not to mention you won't get rid of me that soon. Does this help or do you need me to show you how much you mean to me? Il mio amore?" He said lovingly yet adoringly.

"I..." He sniffed and unsure about how to react to this. Because of him incapable to answer, he decided to kiss the male. It was slow yet full of a passionate kiss. Both put their feelings into this. He pulled away and nothing was said for a while.

"You still up for a picnic today or do you just want to stay here and cuddle?"

"Don't want to get outside." It was just that he felt more comfortable in bed and right now he wasn't sure that he could even get the motivation to get outside at all. This was how they ended up cuddling in the bed the entire day. Renato was even more affectionate with him and he was glad about this. 

A/N another chapter and this fanfic has finished. When you have any suggestions you want me to write about, I am happy to write it. I hope you enjoyed it this ride with me. ^~^