Delia & A Trail Of Broken Hearts

12.

There was an hour before the rehearsal dinner, and while I felt bad for being MIA all day, I needed to talk to Nix. It was just hard trying to find him while avoiding the rest of the wedding people. But holding the flared skirt of my slate grey, curve hugging maxi dress, I looked around the reception hall until I finally found him.

He was in a dark grey suit with a black tee and a gold chain around his neck, I caught him coming out of the hall, his phone in his hand. "Nix-"

When he looked at me, a range of emotions crossed his face, ultimately, he decided to just stare at me. "So, you're still alive." He stated, slipping his phone in his pocket, he cocked his head.

He was mad at me, that much was clear, but he was also happy to see me. I took a step forward, my hands lifting to do something, maybe grab his face and kiss him? I smoothed down the lapels of his jacket instead.

"Delia," He whispered, sounding desperate, his hand ghosting along my side before he dropped it.

I swallowed, he was waiting for my next move, a move I was hoping he'd understand I have to make. If we were going to have any chance of making it, I had to do this now, Missy was so right about that. "Nix, I love you." I said softly, not sure if he could hear me, I was talking very quiet. But I was nervous and the last guy I said I love you to cheated on me.

But this was Nix, it's Nix remember? I knew, even amidst all the games and confusion, that he cares about me. Always has. My eyes fluttered shut and I imagined we were back at the bonfire. "What do you think would've happened if I hadn't walked away at the bonfire?" I asked suddenly, gripping the sides of his jacket for fear he'd leave.

His jacket moved as his shoulder went up then down, "Don't know. You've been walking away from me my whole life, can't imagine getting past that part." He admitted, his voice tight. He was frustrated, angry, and yet I heard a little hope.

Please keep holding on to the hope.

I opened my eyes and met his, his eyebrows were furrowed, as if he was expecting the worst. I reached up to the smooth them out, "I don't want to walk away anymore." I said honestly, my hand shaking as my thumbs ran across his skin.

His eyes dropped, his tongue moistening his lips making them even more inviting, "But?"

My fingers skimmed down the side of his face, over his jaw and one nail drew a line down the front of his neck. I felt him swallow, "But I'm not ready. I'll only hurt you now."

An ironic smile pulled his lips, his hand settling on my hip as he dug his phone out of his pocket. He looked at the screen and shook his head before looking at me, "I've been hurting for a long time." He said as he stepped away.

What does that mean? "What does that mean?"

But he was already gone, heading down the hall, head low as he spoke to whomever was on the phone. And I watched him walk away, taking a piece of my heart with me. Tears sprang to my eyes and I tried really hard not to let them fall, damn it Delia. Are you in love with this man or is he just a rebound?

Dabbing under my eyes, I knew he wasn't just a rebound, that was a ridiculous thought. I've always loved Nix and like Missy said, at first, it was weird thinking of him as more than a friend. Now, though, after this weird ass week, I didn't want to imagine my life with anyone else.

"Delia, there you are, I've been calling you. Are you feeling better?" Mona asked, coming down the hall, the skirt of her grey dress in hand, a bouquet of peach flowers in the other.

I nodded, "Uh, yeah." I said, my heart doing this weird thing when I saw her, I took a teeny step away from her as she approached.

I don't think she noticed, she nodded for me to follow her, "Good, Raven's freaking out."