Broken wings

Chapter 2

For weeks I've roamed this ridiculous castle. Day and night. The most interesting thing I discovered was an affair between one of the maids and the cook. Most people tend to stay away from me. Apparently Roman is supposed to be some kind of royal prince in this small part of earth. I notice how they cast curious glances at the hurt man their boss brought in. I like to pretend it's because they know I'm still stronger and more powerful than any of them, but it's probably more likely they're too afraid to go against anything Roman does. Not wanting to lose their room or job. I've been healing painfully slow. Wounds created by one of our own blades are meant to harm us severely and for long. To show we should never use it on each other. However I'm mostly okay again. The only thing that's still holding me back from becoming the old me are my wings. They don't seem to heal at all and I'm afraid they never will. Every day I stretch them. Hoping they will spread and I can fly again. But every time I free them, more feathers fall out. Birrol's cut hasn't healed in the slightest. It still looks like he just made it.
I stare in the big mirror on the wall. My fluffy black hair hangs almost over my eyes like bangs. Big tired black bags are present under my  dark brown eyes. Making my fair skin look even paler.  My wings hang free behind me. I clench my fists when I see how ruffled they look compared with the slick, full, black wings I'm supposed to have. My hearts bleeds at the sight of how broken they are. How useless they hang on my back. I drop my head in defeat. I've lost everything when I fell. I lost the one thing that makes me me. A sudden rage boils up inside me and I smash the mirror with my fist in agony. No longer able to look at it. The reflective pieces rain down around me and shatter further on the hard, wooden floor. How is it I've lost everything while my brothers are the ones who are corrupt and wrong? How is it I'm all alone? Lost and broken. I'm not used to this. I'm not used to being without my brothers and sisters. I'm not used to question everything that's happening.
Just when my eyes fill up with desperate tears, Roman walks in after knocking the door. He freezes when he sees me stand in front of the broken mirror. My fist still hanging in the air. Our eyes cross and he seems to remember how to move again. He puts tray with food on the dresses and rushes up to me with worry in his eyes as he tries to inspect my hand in case it's bleeding. I push him back as I pull my fist out of his grasp.
"I'm fine." I speak up to get him away. Earth things like a piece of glass can't hurt me that easily. A human sword, or something sharp with a lot of power behind, can possibly harm me, but still not as much as one of our own swords. Roman looks utterly annoyed with me as he frowns and drops his hands beside him. Over the days I've spend here he's tried to take care of me like some poor dog he found on the streets. He kept talking my ears off in the hopes I'd open up. I even noticed him following me around the castle to discover where I might be going on my search to find the thing I felt the first day. He's unbearable. I notice his eyes shift from annoyance to sympathy when I don't look away fast enough to hide my tears.
"Go away. Leave me alone." I order him as I turn away to regain myself again.
"No." Roman speaks up softly. I glare at him as I fully turn towards him. My wings spread to look as intimidating as I possibly can in my current situation. I see him swallow nervously as I approach closer, but he doesn't back away. His heart is beating so fast it sounds like it's trying to escape his chest, but he keeps looking me straight in the eyes. A mix of extreme annoyance and a glimmer of respect washes over me when I see his bravery. Roman slowly opens his mouth to say something.
"I brought you something to eat." He speaks up with a surprisingly steady voice. I scoff and turn around again. Hiding my wings as I sit on the bed in disinterest. I don't need food as often as humans do. I can eat it and even enjoy it, but not now. Right now I don't feel like anything. The crushing weight that I'm wasting time too suffocating. Maybe I should move on from this place. I haven't found anything that could lead me to the feeling I had when I arrived. Nothing here even remotely looks like it could have anything to do with what Chasten and Birrol are involved in. I might not be able to fly, but at least I can walk. I get pulled from my thoughts when I hear the shaky breath escape Roman's lips. I look up to see he's inching closer again. I quirk an eyebrow at him. I expected him to turn around and leave, but lately I'm realizing the man doesn't always do the logical thing. He's stupidly brave. Which might lead to his end down the window if he's not careful. Roman crosses his arms in front of him as if that would make me believe he's not nervous.
"What can I do to help?" He asks me. I let out a humorless chuckle.
"You can leave me alone?" I suggest with a fake enthusiastic tone. Roman frowns as he shakes his head stubbornly.
"I'm serious." He comments.
"So am I. There's nothing you can do for me." I tell him clear for once and for all. What does he expect from me? That I magically know the answer to how I can fix my wings? Let him brew up some magic potion I can drink? If I'd know what could help me, doesn't he think I would already have tried everything in my power to get my wings working again?
"Can you follow me for a moment?" The man speaks up after a moment of silence. I squint my eyes suspicious at his request.
"We both know you can probably take me down with one hand on your back. Just come along, please?" Roman insists. I feel a spark of curiosity to know where he so eagerly wants to take me. I stand upright.
"Leave out the 'probably' and you'd still be no match with both my hands tied on my back." I tell him as step closer. Gesturing him to lead the way. Roman looks excited I decide to follow him.
"I could take you when you have both your hands tied on your back." He then declares with a smirk as he takes us downstairs.
"Right." I hum sarcastically. "I'd give it five minutes." I add.
"At least give me fifteen minutes." He looks offended at me. I feel an amused smile pull up my lips before we pass some people in the hallway. I look at them with squinted eyes. Face falling the moment I'm reminded what it is I'm even doing here. None of these humans are the answer. They're all plain mundane. I need to keep searching.
When we walk outside I stop in my tracks at the feeling of the sun on my skin after locking myself up in that castle. I haven't gone outside in all the time I've been here. Perhaps that's stupid because maybe the thing I'm looking for has been out here all along, but part of me was scared that it would feel official if I stepped outside and realize I'm still alone outside of the castle as well. I close my eyes as I tilt my head up. Humming pleased at the warmth of the beams. The slight wind rustling my hair. I have to stop myself from spreading my wings to let them enjoy the feeling as well. When I blink my eyes open again, they land on a staring Roman who's looking at me in awe. The small relaxed smile that curled up my lips turns into flat line as I knit my eyebrows together again. I don't have time to enjoy things. I've got work to do. Answers to find. This man better not be wasting my time any further. I hear the disappointed sigh escape Roman's lips when I visibly change my expression in front of him. He turns around and continues walking. I follow him in silence. My eyes widening when I hear a horse neighing. In fact I hear multiple horses. I hurry past Roman as I follow the noise and find the stables. Without waiting for the human I open the most nearby door and look at a large black stead. The animal looks at me suspicious before I hold up my hand slowly with a soft smile. The horse calms down and I rest my hand on its forehead. Stroking him soothingly over his nose. Relieved to be in contact with something other than a human for once.
"Wait! Don't go in that one!" A new voice speaks up. Both Roman and another man rush to the stable where I'm currently in. The large animal tilts his head anxious at their arrival.
"Shht. It's alright. It's okay." I whisper softly to calm him down again. The horse neighs as he turns his ears backwards before lowering his head and pushing it against my hand. I stroke him soothingly as I shush him gently.
"Oh my." The new man looks up at me with big blue eyes through his golden round glasses. I've seen him before in the castle. He's the furthest I've gotten from finding something truly dark. I believe his name is Patton. He's smaller than both Roman and I despite being at least ten years older than Roman. He's got half long blond curls sitting on his head and freckles decorating his soft round face. If anyone would look like those ridiculous stories about angels, it's him. Roman stares at me the same way the smaller man does. Both astonished by the horse's reaction. I look back at the beautiful creature.
"Why is he locked up?" I ask them without taking my eyes of the horse.
"Uh, well, he, uh, he's been really unpredictable lately. A few weeks ago he just stopped listening. We can no longer train him or even lead him to the meadow." Patton replies when he gets over his shock. I frown when I hear his answer. Why are humans so dumb when it comes to understanding animals?
"He's in pain." I speak up observing.
"Where? The vet said he's physically fine." Roman eyes the horse up and down. Looking for a visible wound. I keep stroking the animal in a soothing manner as I place my other hand over his heart. It's so clear the horse is suffering emotionally. I can feel it in every fiber of my own being. Both men behind me stay quiet for a while as they look at the horse.
"His brother died." Patton then speaks up softly. I look at the horse in sympathy. I know exactly what it's like to loose brothers and sisters.
"You're alone, huh?" I whisper softly. The horse pushes his head against my shoulder and I wrap my arms around his neck as I console him gently.
"I'm alone too." I mutter against his black fur before pulling back. I can feel the emotional hurricane raging inside the animal. Making him confused and sad.
"He wants to run." I speak up louder as I look over my shoulders. "Where's the meadow?" I wonder. Patton blinks a few times before opening his mouth.
"Out back. About a mile from here." He points in the general direction. I nod and start leading the horse out off the stable.
"Hold on, kiddo. I can't just let you take him-" The smaller man starts worried.
"It's okay, padre. I'll go with him." Roman rests his hand on the blond man's shoulder. "You take care of the others, okay?" He smiles reassuringly.  Patton nods.
"Okay, sire." He bows before leaving them alone and walking to the hay stack he was working at earlier. I roll my eyes at the title.
"What?" Roman wonders when he sees it.
"You humans and your ranks." I shake my head amused. It's always been something I thought was odd. There's no such thing as leaders and slaves with us. We're all equal and respect everyone's opinion like it.
"There has to be order. Otherwise there's just chaos and anarchy." Roman frowns at my reaction as we walk through the forest towards the meadow.
"Someone like you would say that, yes." I snicker. Why is it humans will deliberately give away their own rights in order to serve other humans? I notice how I'm hitting a sensitive nerve when he looks annoyed at me.
"If your system is so much better, then why are you here alone after two of your buddies tried to kill you?" He spits angry. My face falls when his words hit my ears. I square my shoulders as I look ahead of me.
"You don't know what you're talking about." I reply cold. I instantly see the regret in Roman's behavior, but it's too late. He said what he said. There's no point in trying to take them back.
"I'm sorry." He speaks up. "You're right. I don't know." He adds as he looks at me with apologetic eyes. I look curious at him before focusing on the horse again. Why do humans always apologize? It's so stupid. How are more words going to help? I don't reply and we walk further in silence. I like it a lot better like this. Roman always talks too much anyway.
"We're almost there." The man beside me announces when we reach the end of the forest. I look at the path between the trees and see the large green field where several other horses are enjoying their makeshift freedom. Nibbling at the fresh grass or running around like young foals. The horse next to me starts neighing at the sight and I smirk softly when I feel his enthusiasm. Roman skips ahead and opens the little black iron gate keeping the horses inside.
"Off you go, boy." I pat him softly before the marvelous horse sprints towards the grass. Some other horses look up curious as he stretches his legs. Roman closes the gate again and rest his arms on it as he looks at the horse in wonder. I move closer to stand beside him. Both of us lost in our own thoughts as we watch the miserable horse slowly transform into a happy one again. I smile softly when I hear it neigh. If he can get through life without his brother, maybe there's hope for me as well after all.
"How did you know he needed this? We've tried bringing him here for days, but he always refused." Roman wonders out loud. Looking up at me curious. I shrug. Not taking my eyes off the horse.
"I just felt it." I reply.
"You felt it?" Roman quirks an eyebrow. "What you're a psychic too?" He jokes. I let out a chuckle.
"If you wouldn't be so focused on your own thoughts and feelings, maybe you would be open to feel others too." I speak up.
"Oh yeah, we're the ones always brooding in our room silently." Roman nods sarcastically before looking at the horses with an amused smile. I eye him for a moment. The sun hitting his face makes him light up. A spark in his green eyes as he follows the animals he clearly loves. After a while he notices me looking and looks up at me as well.
"What?" He wonders. I shrug innocently.
"I was just wondering if you wear one of those stupid circles on your head as well." I speak up teasingly.
"What? A crown?" Roman frowns. I nod. Whatever they call it. I don't really care. I'm just trying to get under his skin.
"Sometimes. It's heavy though, so I don't like wearing it too often." The human replies honestly. I let out an amused laugh.
"Do I need to call you sire too, now?" I lift a single eyebrow.
"You? Nah." Roman waves that thought away. "You can call me your highness." He adds with a cheeky smirk. I stomp him softly. He can put that idea quickly out of his head. Roman giggles softly and we both look at the horses again. I'm not sure how long we stand there, but I don't really care. It's the first time I've found even the slightest bit of peace of mind for a change.
"I didn't ask to be a prince you know." Roman suddenly speaks up. I cast a glance down at him. I don't really care how he got the rank, but I let him talk. Something tells me he just needs to talk a lot.
"My parents are the king and queen. Like dad's parents before them. It's just a family thing. One day I'm supposed to also find a future queen to make the next heir." He continues. I jump on the gate so I'm now sitting on top of it. Roman looks surprised, but follows my lead and sits down as well. His feet dangling back and forth.
"It's stressful being responsible for so many people. How am I supposed to know what's best for everyone?" He looks up at me with questioning eyes. What does he expect from me? I shrug.
"You don't." I reply simple. He lets out an amused chuckle as he looks ahead of him again.
"Thanks." He snickers softly. I'm not sure what's so funny, but I let him have it.
"We should probably head back before Patton and his helpers come to take the horses back to the stall for the night." Roman reasons when the sun starts hanging low. Casting long shadows over the field.
"Do you think Stormcloud will cooperate this time?" He looks up at me then. I'm guessing he's referring to the large black horse. I scrunch up my nose at the ridiculous name before looking at the animal who's now nibbling at the grass as well. He seems calmer than when I first heard him. He must've found his peace by being free with his other comrades.
"I think he knows he's no longer alone." I speak up. I notice Roman look at me for a long time from the corner of my eyes.
"Alright, let's go, Princy." I jump back down from the gate as I wait for him on the trail back to his castle. He laughs softly at the nickname and follows me. As the woods get darker I feel him grow tenser. He's scared of the dark. I realize.
"Why exactly were you in the woods at night?" I wonder out loud when I see him look up startled at every sound.
"Uh." He looks up at me before looking ahead again.
"I used to love riding at night." He admits. "It felt like the only time I could truly be myself. No one looking or expecting anything as the world was asleep." He adds. He stiffens when an owl flies over.
"I'm not sure what changed." He frowns confused by his own behavior. I square my jaws. I can take a guess why he's suddenly scared of dark woods. 

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Insert our lovely Patton! What better role for him than taking care of animals? We all know he'd be great at it.
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