Broken wings

Chapter 6

As the weeks pass I find myself visit the stables and forest more and more. Patton started viewing me as a friend because of it for some reason. I don't correct him on it because I don't mind his company, but he's no Roman. I don't connect with him much other than on our mutual love for animals and my respect for his endless strength to always look things from a positive angle. He has no idea who I really am like Roman does. After helping the small man again I walk back to the castle to go up to my room. Spending my time just as aimless as the first week I got here. I know I should probably have been on my way a long time ago already. The thing I've been looking for is clearly no longer here. But something is holding me back. I look up from my thoughts to see Roman smile when we cross each other in the hallway. I smirk for the entire way up to my room. I'm starting to think it might actually be his fault I'm still here. The human is the only thing I know these days. I don't have my family or my home, but I do have him. Since the fight I have not once ignored his pain at night and always go up to his room to try and calm him down again. I don't understand why he won't just let me take it all away. Why he insists on hurting himself like this. It fortunately happens less and less over time. So perhaps he's right and it will go away by its own.
I free my wings once I close the door behind me. That already familiar sting in my heart washes over me when I see the state they're in. I hang my head defeated. Maybe Roman's problems will go away in time, but I'm afraid mine will only get worse. I look up when I feel an overwhelming panic wash off of Roman. But he's not sleeping? I stand up from my bed and hide my wings as I rush downstairs to find out what could be wrong. I can't seem to feel anything out of the ordinary. Are my powers disrupted or is there truly no evil thing here that can explain his fear? I burst in the common room and stiffen at the sight. Unsure what's wrong. A maid, Yenny, sits on her knees and looks startled up at me with her big brown eyes. Her two ginger braids resting over her shoulders. She's got a small nose and a slim face. I've seen the other men in the castle look at her. She's beautiful. But I don't care about that. I flick my eyes at Roman who's sitting on his butt with his knees pulled up. He doesn't even react to me entering the room. Tears rolling down his cheeks in steady streams.
"What happened?" I look at the maid. She shakes her head unsure.
"I-I accidentally dropped the tray. Prince Roman tried to help me clean, but I told him not too. All of a sudden he's like this." She looks worried at the man she serves. She rests her hand on his knee gently, but Roman stiffens completely at the touch. A whimper escaping his lips.
"It's okay. You can go again." I tell the maid as I walk up to Roman.
"But-" She starts to protest.
"Go!" I yell stern. She blinks startled before hurrying out the door with the tray filled with broken porcelain. I crouch down next to Roman who seems to be in some kind of trance.
"Princey, what's wrong?" I ask him gently. Roman starts to shake under my touch and I quickly take my hand off of him. I look at him troubled. How can I help if he won't let me touch him? I look around and stand up again. I feel his eyes follow my every move closely as I lock every door and close all the curtains so no one can get in or see anything of what's going on here. I sit back down next to him and I notice the minuscule nods he makes with his head. Shaking left and right as if he's constantly saying no. I take one last glance around the room to make sure no one can get in in any way before freeing my wings. Roman squints his eyes closed and tightens his grip around his knees until his knuckles turn white. I slowly warp my wings securely around him. Not touching him with any other body part to not trigger him any further. As the remainder of my feathers brushes his skin he let out a sob and pushes his face against them. My expression twists up in pain as I try to keep us upright with him leaning heavily against them. Only a few weeks ago this was no problem for me. Now it feels like I'm lifting a ton with just my wings. I hold on though. Feeling how he finds comfort in the unorthodox circle. After a while he seems to melt out of his trance and shuffles closer until he's leaning against me. I look surprised at the change, but lift my arm without a second thought so he's now wrapped in a double embrace of arms and wings. Roman stops sobbing as he rests his head on my shoulder. His eyes open as they stare in the distance. Tears still rolling down his cheeks one by one.
"I'm sorry." He whispers barely audible. I feel an uncontrollable rage burn through my veins for the two brothers who did this to him. Who broke him like one of the porcelain cups Yenny carried out on her tray.
"Don't apologize." I speak up softly in response. He should never apologize for the inhumane thing they did to him. Roman doesn't react, but stays close to me as he tries to calm down fully. I gently brush away some tears. He flicks his watery and reddend eyes up at me. My heart breaks in a million pieces when I see the raw pain and confusion in the otherwise so full of life eyes. I can't stop myself when I lean down to press a light kiss on top of his wavy brown hair. Roman closes his eyes again as he wraps his arms around my neck. Hiding his face in the crook of my neck. I feel salty water drip down my skin into my shirt. I register his need to be held together and pull him sideways on my lap.
"It's going to be okay. I'm here now." I whisper as I rest my head against his with a deep sigh. How can two of my brothers stoop so low that they'd turn an innocent man in a living wreck? Traumatizing him for life. I hear a knock on the door and we both look up. Roman wipes away his tears as he makes a movement to let go.
"No, stay." I tell him softly.
"But-" He starts to argue softly.
"They'll have to wait." I conclude. Not wanting him to shove his pain and trauma to the back of his mind again in order to be of service for others. Another knock is heard and someone rattles the doorknob. Roman looks unsure.
"Prince Roman? Are you okay, sire?" Yenny's voice sounds up worried. The broken human clears his throat before speaking up.
"I'm fine, Yenny. Thank you." He calls back with a surprisingly steady voice.
"I'll be out in a few." He adds before resting his head on my shoulder again. I smile relieved when he allows himself to heal.
"O-oh, okay." She sounds through the door before leaving.
"She must think I'm crazy." Roman mutters in disgust over his own meltdown.
"No, she doesn't." I reassure him. He lets out a shaky breath as he closes his eyes again. His hand holding on to my shirt in his fist without really registering what he's doing. I don't swat him away.
"Thank you, Virgil." He whispers as he opens his eyes again. I look at him with a soft smile. Showing him he doesn't have to thank me for anything.
"Can you tell me what happened?" I ask him with a gentle voice. Careful to not push him too far mentally.
"It's ridiculous really." Roman looks down ashamed.
"I don't care." I assure him he shouldn't worry about the way I'd view him after this so called ridiculous situation. Roman lets out a sigh.
"Yenny was carrying some empty tea cups and pots back to the kitchen. I-I guess I startled her because she dropped the tray when I walked in. I felt bad and wanted to help her clean up, but she tried to stop me. She kept pushing me away and said 'no' and 'stop'. I-I'm not sure why, but I suddenly felt like-like I was b-back in the f-forest a-and I was t-the o-one c-calling th-those things-" His breath hitches when fresh tears form in his eyes.
"Shht, it's okay, Roman. You're not there. You're home. You're safe." I try to calm him down again. He screws his eyes closed as he tries to hold in more sobs.
"You're safe." I repeat as I rest my hand on his head softly. "I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you." I swear to him. Looking in front of me at a little crack in a wooden panel against the wall. I'm not sure how long we've been sitting like that, but my wings are starting to get stiff and the room is getting darker already.
"Please let me take them away." I beg him softly as I look down at him again. I'm surprised to see he's already looking up at me. He averts his gaze with slightly pink cheeks. He shakes his head then and I let out a deep sigh. Hanging my head disappointed. I wish he would just let me take his pain away. He doesn't deserve to be so broken. He was just trying to help out a stranger.
"It's not up to you to fix me." Roman whispers. I look at him with a little frown. What's that supposed to mean? I can fix him. He just won't let me.
"It's because you tried to save me." I remind him the reason why he's going through this. How is it not up to me to fix this?
"But it wasn't you who did it." He points out softly. I look away as I shake my head softly. He pulls back from me then and I blink startled when he tries to stand up.
"What are you doing?" I frown as I open my wings. Flinching at the way they protest after being in the same position for too long.
"I can't stay curled up on the floor forever." He comments as he wipes his face clean.
"Technically you can. You're their boss. You do whatever you want or need to." I comment. Leaning into the whole rank thing just this once. He looks down at his feet before straightening his back.
"It's evening already. People have to eat." He reasons. That stubborn glint back in his eyes. I sigh and stand up as well. Hiding my wings again. Can't they eat somewhere else for once? Roman looks at the place we were seated only a moment ago and I follow his eyes.
"Of course." I mutter frustrated when I see tiny feathers decorating the dark wooden floor.
"Are you okay?" Roman turns the tables on me as I quickly pick up the black feathers before he can let anyone in.
"I'm peachy." I grumble sarcastically. His eyes follow me in silence as I look around for a way of safely disposing the feathers in my hand. He sticks out his hand. With a questioning frown I hand them to him and he shoves them in his pocket.
"I'll give them back." He promises. I scoff.
"It's not like I have much use for them anymore." I mumble to myself as I walk over to the large windows to open the curtains. The sun is already completely down.
"Virgil?" Roman asks for my attention and I turn around to look at him.
"You're always there for me." He states. I nod. Duh.
"You do know I'm also here for you, right?" He asks me. I stop in my tracks to unlock the door leading to the kitchen. I look over my shoulder at how sincere he is. After locking with his eyes for a few moments I stare back at the floor before opening the door. I pass him to open the other one and he grabs my arm to stop me. I shake my head in silence and he lets go again.
"I mean it." He whispers. I bite down on my bottom lip before walking further to open the other door. I quirk an unimpressed eyebrow when I notice people curiously listening with their ears against the wooden door to try and discover what's going on inside. They startle when the door gives away underneath them and they're greeted by my angry face. I look over my shoulder to gesture at how childish they're being, but notice how uncomfortable Roman looks at the sight of the people waiting in the hallway. My face falls and I look at the people with a frown.
"After everything prince Roman does for all of you, don't you think the least you can give him back is some privacy?" I start lecturing. Roman walks up behind me.
"It's okay." He whispers. I squint my eyes at the people nonetheless.
"Our sincere apologies." John bows. I roll my eyes. What's with the bowing?
"No need, John. I've occupied the common room when dinner is probably already long ready." Roman speaks up with a clear voice. Stepping aside and gesturing everyone to come inside.
"Enjoy your meal." He adds with a friendly smile. I cross my arms as I step aside as well to let everyone through.
"Are you not joining us, sire?" Yenny wonders a little worried.
"Not tonight, I'm not, Yenny." He replies calm. I look at how quick the table gets set and food almost magically appears. When the last person goes through the door, Roman goes through it as well and walks over to the spiral stone staircase. I follow him behind. Sensing he's not entirely back to his usual self yet. He doesn't acknowledge me until he drops on his bed.
"The rumors that will follow." He sighs in his hands before looking up at me as I close the door behind us.
"Fuck the rumors." I shrug nonchalantly.
"Easy for you to say. You don't care about what any of us humans think about you." Roman looks salty. I smirk.
"You should try it." I suggest teasingly. He hums not convinced before shuffling back until his back is against the headboard of his bed.
"You reckon it was a smart idea to pass dinner?" I look at him more seriously then.
"You don't eat." He throws the ball back.
"I don't have to as often." I point out the big flaw in his comparison.
"I know. I'm just not hungry right now. I'll sneak something out of the kitchen if I do get hungry later." He replies. I nod in agreement as I sit down on the edge of his bed. It's quiet for a while when Roman speaks up again.
"You know what the worst thing is?" He looks up at me with disgust. I tilt my head curious.
"I actually thought I was a decent sword fighter. But it took him well under one minute to get me helpless underneath him." He scrunches up his nose.
"You can't compare us to humans, Ro." I tell him softly.
"Still." Roman shrugs as he pulls his knees up to his chest again.
"Do you train a lot?" I wonder. I've seen him walk around with his sword a couple of times and heard the clinging of two swords, but it doesn't happen all that often.
"From time to time." He replies with his chin resting on his knees.
"There's not really anyone left who's a match." He adds with a shrug. I look at him with a knowing smirk.
"What?" He frowns.
"When was the last time you trained with someone who wasn't scared to win from you?" I ask him. He tilts his head up from his knees and looks offended.
"I've always won fair!" He calls out.
"I'm sure you believe so." I snicker.
"Whatever." He looks away angry.
"Starting tomorrow I'll train with you." I offer. He looks back at me in surprise.
"Really?" He looks excited.
"I've been slacking myself so yeah, really." I look more seriously. "Fair warning, you're going to lose. Every. Time." I say with a smug smirk.
"We'll see about that." Roman glares at me with a challenge in his eyes.
"See you first thing tomorrow then?" I stand upright to leave him further alone.
"W-Wait." He sounds vulnerable and I look back at him worried when I can feel the hurricane of emotions rage through him.
"C-Can you stay, maybe? U-Until I fall asleep?" He asks me softly. His voice barely loud enough to reach my ears. I see the fear reflect in his eyes and nod slowly.
"Yeah, of course." I give in. He lets out a relieved sigh as he pulls back the blanket so I can sit down next to him.
"I'm really glad you're here, Virgil." He speaks up as he shuffles underneath the blankets. His head resting on his pillow as he looks up at me.
"I know it's not at all where you want to be, but I guess I'm a little selfish like that." He admits. I look into his green eyes for the longest time before looking down at my lap. The ghost of a smile tugging at my lips.
"I guess we're all a little selfish sometimes." I reply.
By the time Roman falls asleep, I decide to stay near him for the entire night. After what happend this afternoon, I wouldn't look up surprised if his nightmares are going to be heavy again tonight as well.

I stare out the window at the now full moon, but blink startled when I feel Roman roll closer in his sleep. He mumbles something unintelligible as he lifts his head to rest it on my stomach. I lift my arms alarmed and look around the room to see if there's anything I can do to get from underneath him without waking him up.  I look back down at him then. Not knowing what to do about this situation. Do I just leave him there?
As if I'm one of his pillows Roman wraps his arm around my waist and buries his face in my shirt. Maybe he'll roll back away in a few minutes? I should probably leave him now that he's sleeping peacefully. Right? Yeah. This is no bigger deal than what I make it out to be.
I roll my eyes when I discover I'm holding a one way debate in my own head. Slowly to not wake the human I drop my arms again. One gently resting around his shoulders since I have no place else to put it now he's laying in the way. I sigh when I realize he actually looks kind of adorable like that. His mouth slightly agape as his face looks peaceful after the stressful day. Perhaps not all humans are horrible. 

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I am so sorry for Roman I have no idea why I did this to him... Or well, I do because otherwise I can't write worried and protective Virgil, but still. Poor guy.
I planned on uploading this sooner, but some things got in the way so sorry about that.