Broken wings

Chapter 13

On a random night, close to the morning breaking through, Logan appears in Roman's room. He opens his lips to speak up, but I hush him so he doesn't wake the human. Roman had another one of his nightmares. It's been a long time since he had them this bad and he's finally back asleep.
"You care too much for the primate. It makes the case with your wings worse." My brother looks annoyed at sleeping Roman, but lowers his voice nevertheless. I carefully get out of the bed and walk towards him so we can talk in a corner with less chance of waking him up. My wings twitching nervously as if they can hear his words.
"You don't know that for sure." I reply stubborn. Not denying that I do care for him. Though I won't ever admit it out loud either. I shouldn't have gotten as close to a human as I've gotten to Roman. I don't know when it sneaked up on me. I have no clue when I started to enjoy his elaborate story telling rather than find it annoying. Or when I started catching myself smile whenever he looked at me. I don't even mind him touching me anymore. In fact I sometimes even long for it.
Logan looks at me with an unimpressed raised eyebrow.
"What's the news?" I ask him to change the subject. That seems to bring him back to the reason he's here.
"Right, I believe something is happening." He speaks up. "I'm still uncertain about the details, but Chasten and Birrol are bringing more and more of our brothers and sisters to the volcano Usemi." He adds. I frown. Why the dormant volcano where our brother once descended to earth?
"Any sight of Deceit?" I wonder. My brother shakes his head in defeat.
"But according to my calculations, our chances of encountering him there are high." He figures in addition. I nibble distracted on my bottom lip as I look over my shoulder at the sleeping human. I'll have to say goodbye to him soon.
"We should go." I turn back to my brother resolute. This has to end right now before any more of our brothers and sisters can get hurt.
"Can you fly?" Logan looks at my wings questioningly. I spread them to show just how broken they are these days. There's barely anything of their old grace left. I shake my head with a heavy heart. I'll never fly again.
"Then how do you propose we get there?" He wonders.
"Horses." Roman's voice sounds up. Both Logan and I turn our heads startled at the bed where he's sitting upright. Neither of us were paying enough attention to him to realize he woke up. I look concerned at the bags under his eyes. I should've taken my brother outside the room.
Roman pushes the blankets back and stands upright. He's walking up to us with determination and I already know where his mind is at. I shake my head.
"You're not coming." I warn him right away. He widens his eyes as he looks offended at me.
"Why the hell not?" He demands angry. I glare at him. I'm not going to risk his life so carelessly. Last time he barely came out of it alive.
"Why exactly would we need to bring a primate?" Logan tilts his head curious at Roman.
"He's not coming, Lo." I tell my brother stern. There's no debate.
"I'm just intrigued." He shrugs innocently. He's always been too curious for his own good.
"I'm part of this." Roman starts. "I know the way and I have the horses." He starts summing up. I cross my arms in front of my chest.
"You were never even supposed to be part of this." I reply stern. "Besides we can just steal the horses." I add matter-of-factly. He frowns frustrated at me.
"But we don't know the way from the ground." Logan points out. I turn around to him in disbelief. We can just figure out the way! It's not that hard.
"If he comes, he will die." I point at Roman while trying to get some sense in both of their heads. It's quiet for a moment. My brother tilting his head at me as he straightens his ridiculous glasses.
"It's my choice." Roman speaks up then.
"It's a dumb choice." I turn back around to him. Doesn't he understand what we're about to do? We're going to face Chasten and Birrol. Who knows how that might turn out!
"The primate is right, brother." Logan speaks up. "We cannot make choices for them." He reasons. I look at him with disbelief in my wide, dark brown eyes. Roman shrugs softly when I look at him as well.
"You're all crazy!" I curse before storming outside the room. Hiding my wings in the process and ignoring the sharp pain that sudden movement causes me. John and Tim look startled when they see me stomp passed them. Apart from them everyone is still asleep. The sun barely breaking through. I'm almost at the door on my way outside when I hear Roman run after me.
"Leave me alone." I warn him angry.
"Why are you so keen on leaving me behind?" Roman speaks up despite my warning. I turn around and shove him against the wall. He flinches, but doesn't back down.
"That's why." I whisper frustrated as I tap his chest upon feeling his heart beating rapidly when it thinks he's trapped again. His stresslevels peaking.
"Last time there were just two and we barely managed out. This time we don't even know what's going to happen or what we'll face." I let him go again as I step back. I wanted to proof a point, not damage him any further. Roman takes a deep breath when he steps away from the wall.
"All the more reason why you'll need me there." He replies. His hand resting on his heart as if he's trying to calm it down.
"Are you deaf? Too stupid?" I look at him frustrated.
"You said it yourself: 'We barely managed out'. I wasn't the only one who almost didn't make it. You would've been dead if it wasn't for me interfering." He points at me knowingly.
"That was just dumb luck. They didn't expect it." I scoff. He crosses his arms stubbornly. Nothing in his posture is showing any signs he's going to back down or admit defeat.
"Dammit, Roman, don't you care at all about the people you'll leave behind if you die?" I look at him desperately.
"Who? My parents who I never see because they live on the other side of the fucking country? The people who work here and merely tolerate me because they have to?" He replies instantly. I can hear he's trying to sound indifferent on the matter, but I can see the hurt in his eyes. Feel the loneliness in his heart.
"Me for one!" I blurt out impulsive. "And Patton and yeah, your parents and everyone who lives here. You're loved Ro." I tell him truthfully. "More than you clearly realize." I add. He slowly drops his arms beside him again.
"I'm coming." He speaks up resolute. I open my mouth, but he interrupts me. "And you can threaten me and shove me against walls and get as angry as you want or need to, but that won't change my answer." He sticks out his chin. I close my eyes as I let out a deep sigh.
"You must be... the stupidest human to have ever roamed this earth." I declare as I rub my forehead with my thumb and index finger. He doesn't reply, but patiently waits until I'm calmed down.
"Where's Logan?" I ask him then.
"He said he'd be back in a few days." He answers. "Something about making sure of certain things first." He adds. I hum as I nod. It makes sense my brother wouldn't explain too much to him.
"Come on." I gesture with my head before walking outside.
"Where are we going?" He wonders as he skips forward until he's walking next to me.
"You want to fight along so badly? Try defeating me first." I pick up the sword he always keeps near the stables and hand it to him.
"I'm in my pajamas." Roman looks astonished when he takes the sword from me.
"Yes, you look lovely. Now come on." I reply dry as I continue walking towards the clearing where we always practice.
"Won't you need a sword?" He wonders when I finally stop.
"No." I speak up as I let my dagger appear in my hand.
"You're going to fight my sword with a small dagger?" He quirks a confused eyebrow at me. I whisper something and the dagger grows into my large, black sword.
"Never mind." Roman gulps when he's reminded by how big and threatening our swords are.
"Everyone of us has one of these. If you're so keen on coming, you have to learn how to fight these." I tell him. Roman looks at it impressed for a few moments before nodding and moving in position. Concentrating as he tries to calculate how the sword will clash against his. How swift it'll move in my hand. I nod and the match has begun. He's grown a lot the past months and he's become more and more of a challenge to me, but he still hasn't managed to win from me. Not a single time. Though he's getting closer with every match. There are moments I actually fear he might beat me. By the time the sun is already high up at the horizon we're both sweating. Roman panting like he just ran a marathon. Exhaustion clear in everything he does.
"Again." He demands when I hold my sword against his neck.
"No." I reply as I hide my sword again.
"But-" He starts to protest.
"You need to eat before you faint." I interrupt him as I helps him off the ground.
"Can we continue afterwards?" Roman asks determined. I stare into his eyes. He's bound to proof me he's worthy of coming. The problem is I don't doubt that for a second. I know he's skilled and brave. I also know he's just human and fragile. I nod. My lips bound together in a fine line when I imagine him in potential danger. I can't let him come and I can't leave him here. He'd just follow us. Knowing how stubborn he is. He smiles softly before tossing the sword aside and walking back towards the castle.
"Perhaps you need to rest first as well." I suggest. He's barely slept tonight and has already spend a good portion of the day using all his strength and muscles. He must be exhausted.
"And give you another reason to not take me with you?" He looks up unimpressed as if I'm trying to trick him.
"If you collapse because you don't think two seconds about yourself you're not going anywhere either." I reply angry. He looks surprised by my strict tone.
"I can't sleep in the middle of the day. What will-"
"I swear if you're going to say 'what will they think' I'm going to stab you in the leg so you won't be able to go anywhere for weeks." I threaten him. He closes his mouth as he looks at me with squinted eyes.
"You're especially tense today." He comments as we walk into the common room.
"I wonder why." I mutter sarcastically.
"Isn't it a good thing you might finally find out what's going on?" He asks over his shoulder before rounding the corner and going inside the kitchen.
"Good afternoon, sire." Some people in the kitchen look up startled before bowing. I roll my eyes. I'll never understand the bowing ritual.
"Hi." Roman smiles friendly at them. "Is there perhaps something left from lunch?" He wonders.
"Of course, sire. I'll quickly make you something." Janet nods. "For two?" She wonders as she looks up at me. I shake my head. I already ate a few days ago.
"Thank you." Roman smiles grateful at her when she starts preparing him an elaborate sandwich.
"I don't know what it's going to be. It might as well be the most horrible thing imaginable." I continue our conversation as I lean with crossed arms against the doorpost.
"Well, it's a good thing you're bad at fantasizing then." Roman teases. I glare at him. Not in the mood.
"You do realize it's not going to be like one of your stupid stories, right? You won't be the brave prince who saves the dull princess from that dragon thing." I reply frustrated at how light he takes the danger. Some people look at me with hold in breaths. When will they ever get over themselves?
"I do realize that, yes." Roman replies.  The smile cleaned off his face and I know he's thinking back at the first night we met.
"Good. Then maybe you'll fucking listen to me for once." I comment.
"I'm here, aren't I? If it was up to me we'd still be training!" He raises his voice. Losing his patience with me. I sure wonder what it feels to lose patience with someone so infuriatingly stubborn.
"And if it was up to me you'd stay home, but I guess we don't all get what we want." I reply frustrated. Why can't he just see I'm trying to protect him?
"I'm coming with you, Virge. There's no changing my mind." He replies calmer. I let out a scoff.
"Fine. Waste your life. See if I care." I push myself off the doorpost and turn around to walk back outside. Ignoring the gasp from one of the women in the kitchen. It sounded like Tina.
"You care." Roman calls after me. He stops me halfway the common room by grabbing my shoulder. I turn around with a warning in my eyes. He lets go, but keeps looking stubbornly in my eyes.
"I know you care, because otherwise you wouldn't be hovering over me all day trying to make me eat and rest." He comments knowingly.
"Take a hint." I suggest. Of course I do care! That's the whole point. I care enough about him to not want to see him die in a potential battle he should never be a part of from the start.
"I care too." He speaks up calmer. I frown down at him.
"I want to go for the same reason you don't want me too." He explains.
"It's my fight. Not yours." I tell him.
"Last time it was also your fight and you didn't care what happened to you. I don't want to risk that again." He speaks up with a soft, yet clear, voice. I stare in his eyes for the longest time until Patton walks in with a crying Thomas. Dark bags underneath his eyes from sleeping so little the last weeks.
"Oh, pardon me for interrupting, sire. Rotal." He looks up startled to see us. Roman still in his pajamas.
"I was just going to make another bottle." He explains as he tries to shimmy passed us.
"All good, padre." Roman looks at him with a crooked smile before turning back to me. "I'll eat and take all the rest you want me too, but I will train every free minute of the day and I am coming with you." He declares finally. I let out a deep sigh as I look outside.
"My life sure was easier before I met you." I mutter.
"That makes two of us." He replies. I smirk softly at him. How have our lives become so tied up with each other? He turns around to head back in the kitchen then. Tina silently hands him the sandwich Janet made. Looking from him to me and back.
"Thanks, dear." Roman smiles genuine, though I can feel his stress levels rising at the confrontation they all witnessed that little quarrel. She bows softly before he turns back around.
"Are we good?" He whispers when he stands in front of me again. Eyes pleading.
"If you finish that upstairs, yeah." I tell him with a crooked smile. He beams happy as he walks in front of me and goes up to his room. Both Tim and John now off duty so the hallway is empty. Roman sits down in one of the armchairs in his room as he starts eating his sandwich. Humming pleased when the taste hits his tongue. I sit down on the armrest of another armchair.
"I don't get why you don't eat more often." He speaks up with his mouth full. I look at him unimpressed. He swallows the food before opening his mouth again.
"Even if I wouldn't have to eat to survive, I'd just miss it." He admits.
"Call me lazy." I shrug. I know brothers and sisters who eat more often. Some even multiple times in a span of a few hours like humans, but I just never really cared for food that much.
"Do you think-" He starts.
"Don't do that to yourself." I stop him immediately. Knowing exactly where his mind is at.
"It's just that they're not used to seeing me like that." He tries to explain.
"What? Human? Someone with emotions whose more than just trying to be the perfect prince?" I quirk an unimpressed eyebrow.
"I know you look down on our way of ranking as you call it, but I can't get from underneath it. I'm responsible for these people and I want them to trust me and believe in me." He reacts.
"Maybe you should try and work on that a little more while I'm gone." I suggest.
"Ha ha, nice try." He replies sarcastically as he finishes the sandwich.
"From what I've heard you're already a far better ruler than your father, so who cares?" I ask him.
"Dad's got even more responsibilities than me. I barely scratch the surface of all the things he has to do." He puts the plate down. "To be honest with you, I often think I'm not good enough to become king one day." He admits softly. I roll my eyes. "Stop that, I'm being openly vulnerable here." He kicks at my foot.
"Look, I know nothing about any of this, but I do know that you're a great guy, Ro. You care deeply about people. You're brave and you don't shy away from responsibilities. I'm sure you'll be a great king." I reassure him. He smiles grateful up at me. "Now head back to bed." I order him.
"And we're going from king to little kid." He mutters as he stands up with a sigh. I smirk amused as I follow him into his bed. Prepared to daze him until he falls peacefully asleep so I can check the horses in the mean time. I know Patton technically took back over, but he's been so busy with Thomas that I don't mind going over to the stables a couple more times than usual.  

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Just a heads up that I'm currently working, so it's possibly I won't be able to upload as often as I used too (it's also possible nothing changes)