Broken wings

Chapter 8

"Yes, that's good!" I praise him when Roman manages to dive for his sword before I can give him the final blow. He beams proud for a moment before concentrating on the match at hand. He's gained a lot of skill and strategy over the past few weeks and I can see his confidence level rising with every day we train. He's never been able to win from me and I doubt he ever will, but he holds his ground very well. When he lands on his butt he rolls away before I can point my sword at him.
"You're on fire today." I smirk. Enjoying the challenge. He smiles softly as sweat plasters his brown curls against his forehead. His breathing has gone heavier in pants a while ago, but he doesn't look like he's going to give up easy. Several people have wondered if they could watch the spectacle, but Roman denied them every time. I understand why they'd want to watch. It's practically the only entertainment they potentially have. Though I'm glad Roman doesn't allow them to sit here and watch us train. Aside from when I'm out in the forest this is the only time I feel at home. Sword fighting. Moving my muscles. Strategizing every move. Dancing lightly on my toes. I don't want a bunch of humans to take that feeling away from me as they gasp in shock every time I win from their prince. Roman curses under his breath when I finally get him trapped with no way out.
"That went well." I compliment him before dropping my sword.
"Not well enough." He protests as he wipes the hair out of his face. I smirk amused at his fight lust. I've warned him from day one that he'd never manage to win from me, but that doesn't stop him from trying to proof me wrong with everything he's got. I take a gulp from the flask with water before handing it to him. He takes it eagerly as he swallows the cool liquid down. He's been bringing that flask to every training session now. It's a lot easier than having to stop so he can rush back to the castle to drink something.
"Have you ever been back?" He looks at me with questioning eyes as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. I'm about to ask 'been back where?' when I realize what he's talking about. The place I crashed down. Where he tried to help me. He screws the flask close again as he waits for an answer.
"Couple of times." I admit. He nods slowly and looks away distracted. His mind drifting somewhere I can't follow him. I wait patiently to see what he plans to do next. He looks back up at me then.
"I think I wanna go back too." He speaks up softly. As if he's not entirely convinced that's what he really wants.
"It's just a clearing in the forest. You won't find any answers there." I warn him. Believe me I've tried. I've looked around at every inch. Every leaf. Every ant. It doesn't make me any wiser about what happened or what I should do. It's just a scar of the past now.
"I know." Roman admits. "But I can't allow myself to keep being scared of it." He adds with a little frown. I see the internal debate in his eyes.
"Are you sure?" I tilt my head a little worried he's pushing too hard. He shakes his head.
"No, but I'm going to do it anyway." He replies resolute. His hand hovering over his sword as if he's extracting strength from the fact he won't be defenseless.
"Want me to join?" I wonder. Not sure if he can handle it on his own.
"Please." He looks into my eyes vulnerable. I nod.
"Okay. Let's take the horses." I agree before walking towards the meadow where I know Karaliene and Stormcloud are grazing.
"Thank you." Roman whispers when he falls in line next to me. I don't reply.
We get the horses. Roman puts Karaliene's gear on as he takes his own iron one off so he won't be as heavy. Patton waves us goodbye and we slowly walk into the forest together. I notice how he grows tenser with every step that we get closer to the spot and I eye him closely. Ready to intervene if I deem it necessary.
"This is where I heard you." The human speaks up suddenly. I look from him to the way ahead. That makes sense. We're almost there and I'm pretty sure a crash followed by a sword fight would be loud enough to sound all the way to here.
"What made you decide to step in?" I look at him questioningly when he stops and ties Karaliene to a tree. He looks down at his feet before catching my eyes.
"I already told you that night." He replies softly. My mouth twitches when I remember his words. I can't turn away from someone in need of help. He didn't even know what was going on. What if I had been some kind of horrible human criminal who finally got what he deserved? He's too noble. He shouldn't have been punished for being a decent man. For being brave. I step off of Stormcloud and pet him softly before going through the forest to the clearing. Roman close behind. I hear how he stops by the edge and turn around to look at him. Eyeing him carefully.
"It looks different in daylight." He whispers as he stares at the spot where he was forced down and almost bled out.
"It looks different at night as well." I reply softly. What happened that night was just a brief point in history for the forest who immediately started healing itself. Washing away the blood. Letting new leaves sprout from the broken tree. Roman looks up at me for a second, only to look back at the grass. He steps closer to me until the back of his hand is brushing against mine. I feel sorry for him when he's munching down on his bottom lip. He's shaking like a leaf in the wind when he imagines himself laying helpless on the ground again. I grab his hand gently to bring him back. He blinks up at me startled. As if he forgot I was here.
"You've never been stronger." I tell him softly. He looks down at his feet.
"I don't feel strong." He admits. I clench my jaws when I hear his words and let go off his hand. He looks up scared.
"You are strong, Roman. You faced two of my brothers when they were at their worst behavior and survived." I look deep into his eyes so he understands what I'm saying.
"Thanks to you." He argues barely audible.
"And I survived thanks to you. Call it even." I tell him. I hate to admit it, but he did help me that night. I wouldn't have lived had he not intervened. I knew it and I had made my peace with it. I'm still not sure if this life of uncertainty is better than death, but I have to be grateful for it. He closes his eyes as he takes in a shaky breath before blowing it out again. Opening his eyes afterwards to nod softly. Telling me he's okay without words. I nod as well and look at the tree I crashed in. The feathers already gone by now. Now it looks like anything could've torn that tree down. The wind, lightning, an illness making it weak.
"Were you scared?" Roman's voice speaks up when he looks from the spot on the grass to the tree and then up at me. I shrug my shoulders. At first not intending to answer the question. But upon seeing his eyes I let out a sigh.
"Yeah. Sometimes still am." I admit begrudgingly. Perhaps he'll feel better knowing he's not the only one who walked away traumatized that night.
"Can you tell me what happened? Because I'm still at a loss for the most part." He asks me gently. Not wanting to chase me away I assume. I look at the broken tree before looking up at the clouds slowly drifting by.
"I barely understand myself." I tell him truthfully. Closing my eyes as I rub my face in my hands for a moment to shrug the heavy feelings off. When I open them again I see Roman look patiently at me. I let out a soft sigh.
"I noticed Chasten and Birrol were acting strange. I followed them one night, but they found out. I tried to escape. Falling in the process. They followed me down here to make sure I wouldn't be a threat." I summarize. He knows the rest. I got stuck. I live in the castle now. Act like a human.
"I hate them." Roman mutters. Looking furious.
"They're lost." I reply. Still hoping that what I saw must make some kind of sense. Their behavior must come from somewhere. Maybe they can still be saved. Roman doesn't react. I don't think he wants to hear those things. I don't blame him.
He turns around without a word and walks back to the horses. I watch him go before flicking my eyes over the little clearing that changed both our lives to a point of no return.
"It's almost dinner." He explains why he left. He's already waiting on Karaliene. I hum and swing my leg over Stormcloud. I know there's more behind it. Maybe he's even a little mad I didn't agree to hating my brothers. Whatever it is, I don't intend to find out. Instead going along with his little show. We put the horses in the stables and go our separate ways. Roman joining Patton back to the castle for dinner while I walk back towards the forest with the lake. I like it there. It's hidden, the animals roam free and I can see the sky clearly. I watch the sun go under as I walk around the entirety of the lake with my wings free. It's quite large. By the time I'm back at the start, the stars are out and bats fly over the lake. I smile softly up at them. Wondering if the one I held months ago is one of them. I turn my head surprised to hear another set of footsteps. A mumbled cussing followed before Roman appears. Looking annoyed as he tries to free his ankle from a branch of thorns. I quirk an eyebrow at him. I figured he would already be asleep by now. Or at least safe inside the castle.
"You're making it worse." I speak up when I see him pull his leg with brutal force. He jumps up in the air startled before hissing when the thorns pierce his skin.
"I wasn't sure you'd be here." He admits a bit flustered over his reaction. I smirk as I step closer and crouch down to help him.
"Why were you looking for me?" I look up at him when he carefully pulls his leg back from the thorns when I free him.
"I got curious." He shrugs as he looks at his ankle with a scrunched up face. His reckless pulling caused his skin to rip and blood trickles out of several miniature wounds.
"About?" I wonder. Placing my hand gently over his ankle before concentrating. He looks at me with big eyes as I twist my face in pain before letting him go. His ankle healed again. That took way more energy than it should have for such a small wound.
"About what you do at night." He clarifies. I stand up and he follows me with his eyes.
"I thought you were scared of the dark?" I look over my shoulder when I walk back towards the shore of the lake.
"I guess I'm feeling brave today." Roman takes a few steps forward before startling from a badger who makes his way through the bushes. He glares at the animal who scared him. I hum.
"I can see that." I snicker.
"Shut up." He glares at me now. His cheeks tainted red with embarrassment.
"So what is it you do all night?" He repeats his question.
"Nothing." I shrug.
"Nothing?" He looks unimpressed.
"Nothing." I nod affirmative.
"Can we do nothing together?" Roman tilts his head. A hint of a smile pulls at my lips.
"I suppose." I agree before sitting down on the ground. I tap the space beside me with my flat hand as I look up at him. A big grin appears on his face as he plumbs down and shuffles closer.
"It's even prettier at night." He observes with twinkling eyes as he looks at the reflection of the stars in the lake.
"The sky is clear. Summer is on its way." I comment. Feeling the warmth coming as nature starts re-living again.
"Thank goodness." He lets out a relieved chuckle. I smirk down at him before looking up at the night sky. The moon is almost full. Basking the forest in its soft white light. Roman almost jumps in my lap when one of the bats flies low over our heads.
"Sorry." He mumbles as he sits back again. "I swear I used to not be so squeamish." He adds in his defense.
"It's okay." I smile amused down at him. "C'mere." I gesture him closer so he won't be as scared. He looks grateful when he shuffles close enough until his side is plastered against mine. My right wing hugging him protectively.
"Want to see one from up close?" I ask him softly. Referring to the bats as I already stick my hand out in front of us. He nods softly as he looks at my hand with a frown. He opens his mouth to say something, but I gesture him to be quiet.
"Just watch." I whisper. He closes his mouth again and looks questioning at my hand. After a while a curious bat lands on me and tilts his little furry head while making a squeaky noise at us as he hangs upside down from my index finger.
"Hi." I smile softly. Roman startled when the animal suddenly appeared, but looks delighted now.
"Won't it bite?" He whispers softly to not scare it away. I shake my head as I bring the animal closer so I can scratch his head. The black animal seems to love it and hooks his hands on my fingers as well. Moving so it's more like he's hugging my hand now.
"I brought an apple." Roman looks up at me. "Do you think it wants a piece?" He wonders. I shake my head.
"This one mainly eats insects." I whisper back. He looks a little disappointed.
"Here, carefully try to pet him." I move the bat closer to him. He looks at me with an excited grin before sticking out his hand carefully. The bat makes another squeaky noise before Roman can touch him. As soon as he does, the animal starts making happy sounds like a purring cat.
"It's so adorable." Roman observes. "You'd never guess that when you see them flying around." He adds when he looks up at the other bats still hunting. I can't say I agree with that last statement. I gently stick my arm out again.
"Off you go." I tell the bat softly. He makes another squeaky sound before letting go of my hand and flying off.
"It's like being friends with a superhuman." Roman snickers.
"Not a human." I correct him.
"I know, I'm just saying- never mind." He shakes his head with a crooked grin.
"So this is what you do when everyone's asleep?" He changes the subject. I shrug.
"Pretty much." I reply affirmative. Either I'm spending the night by his side when he's got nightmares, or I try to ease my mind by being surrounded by nature.
"I can see the appeal." He admits genuine as he looks up at the stars. I follow his gaze and look up as well. Recognizing the many constellations in their patterns. My eyes shift to take in Roman who's looking up dreamy. The starlight reflecting in his green eyes. His wavy hair even wilder than usual after sweating during training in the afternoon. A yawn escapes his lips and he rubs his eyes with his fists as if he's still a kid.
"Maybe you should go to sleep." I suggest with an amused smirk. He shakes his head.
"I like it here." He replies stubborn. When he looks at me I see the warmth in his eyes. I never expected for a moment in my life that I'd come to enjoy having a human around, but here I am. Instead of walking around alone, I'm looking at and listening to Roman. As if, for just a moment, it's just the two of us. No trauma, no loss, no doubt. Just two beings connected in the night.
"A falling star!" Roman gasps. By the time I look up, it's gone.
"Did you know most of these stars are probably already dead?" I speak up as I stare at the sky. "Their light shines on long after death because it takes years to reach us. We're basically looking at their past." I tell him before looking down. Roman frowns at me as if he thinks I'm messing with him.
"I'm serious." I laugh at his expression.
"Their past?" He quirks an eyebrow. I nod.
"That's not weird at all." The human looks up at the sky with confusedly knit together eyebrows.
"It's actually kind of beautiful." I comment.
"Dead stars are beautiful?" He looks at me as if I've lost my mind.
"The fact they're still shining upon us. It's really quite extraordinary to know we're lucky enough to see it." I explain what I mean. He looks at me for another moment before looking up.
"I think I know what you mean now. I feel the same way when I look over the valleys. As if it doesn't matter what I've done before or will do in the future. I just have to praise myself lucky I can experience actually existing in such a beautiful and rare world." He comments. I nod. That's almost exactly it. It calms me down whenever I'm overwhelmed by the fact I'm stuck with no way of knowing what's going on at home. It reminds me to just be alive. Roman yawns again. I look at him knowingly.
"I'm not tired." He glares at my expression. Right, and I can grow a second head. He's been leaning heavily against me for the past minutes without him even realizing it. I don't reply and we stare at the stars for a long time until I feel his head fall on my shoulder. His mouth slightly agape and his eyes closed. Not tired, hmm? I look at him with a crooked smile. The moonlight lightens up his skin. Making it look as if he's made out of starlight himself. I remain seated for a little while longer, thinking he might wake up again, but when he doesn't I carefully move so I can pick his sleepy ass up. One arm supporting his shoulders as his head bops against my chest while I hold my other under his knees. I hide my wings before I start walking. His eyes open slightly and he grumbles something.
"Wha-?" He looks up at me with a sleep riddled voice.
"Shht, you can go back to sleep." I whisper soothingly. He doesn't protest and nuzzles his face in my shirt. I take him back to the castle. Grateful everyone is asleep. When I get to his door, John is waiting on a chair. He stands up when he sees us arrive.
"Don't." I warn him with a hiss. He nods with a gulp and opens the door for me. He's a quick learner. I gently place Roman down on his bed and pull the covers up to his neck.
"See you tomorrow." I whisper as I brush a wild curl out of his closed eyes. When I pull back, he protests and grabs my wrist.
"Wait-" He mumbles. I wait to see if he says anything else, but his hand drops from my wrist and he turns his head as he mutters something unintelligible in his sleep. I smirk softly before laying his arm under the blankets as well and leaving his room. I nod at John on my way out and go up to my own room. 

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I just really want to thank everyone who takes the time to read this, to vote or to comment even! It's such a motivation boost every time I see it and I'm so happy you seem to like this story.