Oneshots of Whatever (mainly Countryhumans) (Finished-ish)

98 - Magic 🇷🇺🇺🇸

Harry Potter AU
A little bit of Germany x Italy because holy shit they're cute
Apparently, I'm a Slytherin (where my boiz at?)

America woke up to see himself on a train. He was laying across the seats, a thin blanket over him. He sat up, seeing two other countries. One was Germany, and the other was Italy. They were both asleep, snuggling. America looked out the window, not recognizing the scenery.

A few hours later, Germany woke up, sitting up straighter. Italy fell into his lap, muttering something about ravioli and how it wasn't cooked fully. Germany chuckled, looking up at America.

"Hallo, Amerika," Germany greeted, petting Italy's hair. "If you're asking where you are, we're on our way to Hogwarts, the school of witchcraft and wizardry."

"But..." America started. "I'm not wizard."

Germany smiled softly, "That's what we all thought."

Hours later, they arrived. After a boat ride (which America spent watching Germany and Italy be cute together), they arrived at the castle-like school. The "grounds keeper," Prussia, led them to a huge room with many other countries.

Four long tables sat in the room, and America caught a glimpse of Russia at the furthest table to the left.

They shuffled down the middle, seeing NATO holding a weird hat.

Country after country, they all were assigned to "houses." Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Slytherin, and Hufflepuff. Canada, obviously, and Italy were sent to Hufflepuff. Germany was sent to Ravenclaw along with China. America was sent to Slytherin which was the table Russia was at. Apparently, Russia was a "second year," so he sat further on the table.

In the common room, America saw a few other countries who he never thought would be Slytherin. Their "Head of House" was Soviet, weirdly enough.

But that was all last year, you want the present, don't you?

America's POV
I slipped into the common room, only lit up by the Lumos spell at the tip of my wand. No one was there, thankfully.

"Where did you go?" A thick voice asked from by a lowly-lit lantern.

Russia was sitting there, writing something in a journal. He set his quill beside him, gently petting his Siberian cat.

"I was... um... I was..." I fumbled, backing up slightly to the door that lead to the rooms. I fiddled with the ends of my cloak, shutting up.

"American," Russia said sternly, standing up. "I want to know where you went."

I avoided his eyes, looking anywhere but those seemingly-glowing, blue orbs.

"I went to visit Canada," I said, rubbing my arms.

"You know he's a Hufflepuff and we're not allowed to intervene between houses," Russia said, walking towards me. "I'll just have to tell Soviet about this, won't I?"

I panicked slightly, "No! Please don't! I'll do anything!"

He leaned down to me, my heart fluttering in my chest and butterflies exploding in my stomach. I noticed his eyes were actually glowing, making his appearance all the more hot.

"I'll forget it," he said, his voice hinted with tiredness and exhaustion. "If you tell a secret about yourself that no one else knows." I stared up at him in disbelief. "Not even Canada."

My mouth suddenly felt dry and my hands got sweaty. "I..." I trailed off. I knew what I was going to say, I just couldn't spit it out. "I..."

"Today, America," Russia growled.

God, I just wanted him to fuck me already. Like, Jesus, his accent was... hypnotic! He was tall as hell, just how I like guys. And muscular as shit. And he has a cat, how cute is that! Do you know how cute of a sub he would be?

When I was knocked into reality, Russia was recoiled, his eyes wide. "Какое дерьмо? (What the shit?)" He asked.

The colour was drained from my face and I felt cold. I said it out loud, didn't I?

"Fuck," I said plainly. I turned around, ashamed. "Well, you got your secret," I said, balancing over crying and killing myself. "Now don't tell Soviet." I went into my room, closing the door behind me. No one else was there, which was a plus for me.

"I'm going to get murdered," I breathed. I flopped onto my bed, my cat deciding now would be the best time to lay on my back. "What am I going to do, Miss Kesha (idfk how spell it)? Do I confront him? Do I not?"

She mewled expectingly.

"You're right," I sighed. "I should just feed you."

The end america never gets fucked by russia and they awkwardly coexist

Unless...

"Please, America, you have to come out sometime this millennium," Canada begged. The other Slytherins were chill with Hufflepuffs in their common room, as they are literal angels.

"I'm not coming out!" America called back. "And don't you dare Alohomora the damn door!"

Just then, the door opened, Russia in the doorway. He slammed the door, locking it. He marched over to America, picking him up by the collar of his shirt.

"You tell me you didn't mean it!" Russia spat. "Tell me."

America looked at him blankly, "I can't lie to you... I did mean it, and I'm sorry. I never wanted to tell you because of... this happening."

Russia's grip weakened, but not by much. "I..."

America sighed, "See? Wonder why people don't just—"

Russia pulled back from the kiss, but not for long as America pulled him back.

And thus concludes our story of Why The Fuck Do I Write These? Created by Faye, your author.

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