Primrose Crimson [English]

23: Confession

3rd week of July: Thursday

I visit astral world if I have free time at the night.

Steve said that today was our last session. I ask him why but he didn't even tell me the reason. He just response to me that he will text me if he need help again.

While Daisy let Andrew to court her. Daisy still want to do the Filipino culture but not the old old days like breaking woods for cooking, getting water from a well. Daisy is pointing to slow movement to know each other adding time to build a strong foundation.

Strong foundation keep you bounded in each other. It's strengthen your relationship not those typical chat, date, relationship after a week break up.

She also told that knowing the guy outside or before commitment is better. Than when you are two is official and still state of getting to know each other.

School just as always to many works but IF you think on the bright side. In reality, if you get a job, more work will be given to you. When you get married bills to pay is bothering you. School just preparing us to face the world.

We are envelop in a system and that system is difficult to break but easily to change. You may change it if you join and participate.

After class, when we get outside and log out. Steve's chaperone is already there. Waiting for us outside the school.

I meet Steve parents but it's busy in work so they didn't notice me or Steve either.

Steve prepare some snacks and head to living room where I wait him. He act weird, so weird. He like have phobia to me, specially when he meet my gaze.

We start to some basics first. Giving him warm up to easily catch the big one. I start Physics first because he is slow to get it than other major sciences.

"So, we will start some of the definition then we will go to solutions and application." I say looking to the book turning its page to find the lesson.

When I finally find it. I place it on the coffee table and go down to sit on the floor. When Steve copy me and look at the book. I start.to discuss it. I also give some example in real life to make his imagination work.

"Steve. What is electromagnetism?" I ask when I'm done, to review him.

I close book with my finger between the page where the lesson is located.

I look at him. He was covered by sweat in his face. He is blushing when he meet my gaze. He is so tense, nervous.

"Steve. Are you okay?" I ask him while reaching out the back of my hand to check his temperature.

He blush more when I did it. He have normal temperature.

"Steve?" I say frowning what is happening to him.

His eyes grow wide. He was drown in his thoughts.

"Uhmm...I-I'm o-okay." He said forcefully smiling to me.

"Are you sure? If you're not okay we can continue next meeting." I say. Worried.

"You act weird lately." I added.

"Y-yeah." He said in nervous tone.

"You sure? We can continue ne-" I say.

"No!" He shout to me.

I flinch in his action.

"I'm...I w-want to tell th-that..." He said more nervous than before.

I wait him to continue but no response. So I decided to reach my bag start to pack my stuff. I can't handle the intense/awkward atmosphere.

"I like you!" He shout when I zip up my bag.

I'm stunned for a bit. Processing.

"Wait...what?" I ask still processing the thoughts.

"I-I like you! C-can I-I c-court y-"

"Sorry, Steve. I'm not ready for commitment." I say cutting him out.

He just look down in his lap.

"We can be friends. Friendship last longer than other relationship." I say patting his shoulder.

He is cute and have nice personality but I'm not yet ready. I have so many thing to deal with. And he is not my type but the plans is dominating.

He just nod and give me a fake smile.

I know it hurts but if I agree, I was lying to him.

I decided to leave and didn't end the lesson. Steve offer to drop me home but I refuse.

He push and give reasons. I agree in the end.

The ride have still awkward atmosphere. All time in our ride, Steve and I didn't even spoke single word. Steve drop me one block away in our house.

I leave the car and smile to him. I don't know to do so I leave.

I start to walk down the street.

I feel guilty.

Now he will act more weird to me. He will avoid me totally.

Nice Primrose! Friend zone?

The thoughts just run to me. I'm still feeling guilty on what I have done.

When I reach my house. I start to do what I need to do. Making myself busy help me to avoid the thoughts about the event happen earlier.

When I'm done and already eat my dinner. I head upstairs and do my night routine.

I flop myself to my bed and reach my phone at the top of my drawer.

I decided to text Daisy and tell her.

Rose: Psssst...something happen and I feel guilty.

She just instantly reply.

Peppa 🐖: Drop it!

Rose: Steve confess to me that he like me. I friend zone him.

Peppa 🐖: What! He is cute and nice. Why?😢

Rose: I know but you know my priorities. Right?

Peppa 🐖: I know. That you need to find a job, scholarship, excellent university after the graduation.😑

Peppa 🐖: No worries. You just do your part. Don't feel guilty about it. Okay.

Rose: Okay...

I turn off my phone and start to sleep. Still guilt knocking me.