“Can we talk about something?” Jason asked.
“What would you like to talk about?” His question brought me back to the present.
“What we just did, you know, last night and this morning…have you done that before with other guys?”
“If you’re talking about the sex, yes I have,” I said honestly. “If we’re going to talk about this we both need to be honest. I’ve only been with three other guys. While the thought of dominating them or being dominated by them, was appealing, I just didn’t feel comfortable enough with them to explore that side of myself. That first time, in Afghanistan, I knew you needed something more than a quickie. You needed something that would completely distract you from your problems. You seemed open to the idea then, so I tried it again now.”
“I’m glad you did,” he told me.
“I’ve always wanted to be with someone I trust,” I continued. I’ve never bared my soul to anyone like this. “I’ve always wanted to be with someone who wasn’t afraid to explore.” The look on Jason’s face told me he was intrigued and wanted me to continue. “For instance, I’ve never used toys, at least not with someone else, but I’m curious to try. And before you ask, I don’t like to share, so no threesomes. If you feel you want to be with someone else, break-up with me first. The last guy I was in a relationship with cheated on me.”
“My wife cheated on me, too, so I’m not into sharing either,” Jason said. I was curious how easy it would be for him to bare his soul. With other boyfriends, anytime I tried to have conversations about previous relationships they would see it as an opportunity to exaggerate, or blame the other half of their ill-conceived coupling for why their mothers won’t talk to them. Some avoided the conversation by changing the subject to the pros and cons of domestic versus imported beer.
“I’d been with five different women before I got together with my wife,” Jason said. “You’re the first girl I’ve been with since the divorce. I tried dating a couple of times, but didn’t feel it with them like I do with you. I have to say, I love the way you take the lead, and the way you let me take it.”
This conversation was getting me worked up, but that ended when a cell phone began to ring. We didn’t know whose it was. I fell off the bed looking for it, but as it turned out… it wasn’t mine. Jason got off the bed and headed to his pants pocket. “Oh, and as far as toys are concerned, it’s worth trying.” He was smiling, until he realized he already tapped the answer button.
***
“Hi Daddy. Are you playing with toys?”
“Hi Sky, Um…how are you?” I said in a panic. “I said…Noise. We have to try and make noise at the…basketball game. You know, to cheer on the team.”
“I would rather play with toys,” Sky said.
‘Yeah me too,” I told her. After I tried to shush Melody, who was laughing into her pillow, I returned my attention to Sky.
