Reason of Every Why

Autumn 15

"Mom, what did you just say?"

"We are going to America for your dad's major operation."

"America? Mom, is it necessary to be there?"

"They have more doctors and facilities there."

"Mom, can I come too?"

"No, just wait here.

"But, how can I just wait here mom?  The more that I will get restless."

"Don't think that way. Your dad will be okay."

"Ma..."

"Your dad is very proud of you. And he will soon say it by himself when he gets better."

Aunt and Donny are seriously talking when I arrived at the hospital.

"Sharlene, good you're here."

"Ma, why is she here?"

"I think you need someone to talk so I called her."

"Ma, you don't need to do it," as if feeling angry.

"It's okay aunt, actually I have a very important appointment for today."

"But why you didn't tell me?"

"Because I thought I am really important here but since I am not needed here so I think I have to go."

"Shar..."

"Ma, let her go..." Donny told her mom.

"Why did he change all of a sudden," I asked myself.

Then while walking, I imagined him being crazy because of his panic disorder.

I thought of going back but I turn, he's already in front of me.

"Where are you going?" he asked me.

"I think I am the one who should be asking you, where are you going?...but okay, since you asked first so I'll answer your question...(paused...thinking what to say) ...oh, actually, I am going to the Rest Room."

"But the restroom is that way," he said confidently.

I know I can't deny it anymore but still I have to.

"You're going back?"

"Of course not!" I told him.

"Don't worry, I'am already here. So let's go," he said and held my hand.

"Where are we going?"

"Let's also go to your school. I haven't been there."

"Why do we have to go there, why not just go to a restaurant or a cafè?"

"I also want to go there. I've been to restaurants and cafès many times but I haven't there so I wanna visit your school."

(Cell phone ringing)
"Wait, it's my mom. I just have to answer her call."
...

"Eomma."

"Glad you received my call right away. I'm going to Philippines."

"Chongmalyo?"

"Ne."

"Eomma, did you receive any call from my school?"

"Ani."

"But why are you coming here?"

"I have a very important appointment. Okay then, I just called to inform you about it."

As I talked to my mom, I felt like I lost some of my energy.

"You okay?"

"Uhm."