She's Our Girl

I'm not hungry

Georgie was with Captain James the camp was full of sorrow and it was dinner time, monk and fingers knocked on SJ's tent, there was no response, SJ was sat inside she was numb. "SJ babe you need to eat!" Monk pleaded "I'm not hungry she breathed!" Then sniffed, fingers hugged her "babe you have to eat it's not a choice!" SJ's tear stained face looked up at fingers "why? What's the point, dad won't get to eat again!" She retorted fingers got up "fingers where are you going?" Hissed Monk "to get the boss man or Georgie to force SJ to eat!"
         Fingers knocked on Captain James's tent "not now!" Came a voice "boss man it's important!" Captain James came to see fingers "what?" He replied "SJ is refusing to eat, and you need to tell her she was to!" Fingers retorted "she just may not be hungry." Captain James countered "she's punishing herself because Elvis is dead, she feels responsible, please sir I'm concerned." Fingers pleaded Captain James nodded he went back in the tent "Georgie I'll be 10 minutes max okay babe" then he marched to SJ's tent and knocked again no response "Sapphire-Jade? Sapphire-Jade!" He said her uncle never called her that not ever. Then he walked into where monk was sat with SJ "go get some scoff..now!" He said "I'm not hungry!" Sapphire-Jade Replied. Then Captain James Lost his temper "SAPPHIRE-JADE YOU GO GET SCOFF NOW OR YOU GO HOME AND YOU DONT COME AWAY WITH US AGAIN!" He yelled , fingers and monk looked stunned, then his eyes met the tear stained face of SJ he realised what he said and pulled her into an embrace "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry darling" he whispered into her head. SJ just broke down crying and collapsed to her knees, Captain James held her "he's dead....he's dead because of me, I've lost him.., he's gone" she cried "I'm sorry.... I can't... I can't be brave anymore." She continued. Captain James just rocked her "everything I'd going to be okay darling."
          SJ reluctantly went to scoff with fingers and monk. Captain James went back to Georgie.
Scoff was buzzing with the news of Elvis death. SJ lost count of the amount of I'm sorry for your losses and hands she got on her shoulders, but no-one said his name no one said Elvis was dead. An Afgan soldier was standing behind SJ talking to his mate "did you here about that special forces bloke that got killed, he almost sabotaged the whole mission" the soldier sniggered.  SJ stood up and turned "don't do this SJ!" Fingers whispered and touched her arm but she shook him off.  She turned to the Afgan soldier "that special forces bloke was My dad" she spat "well your 'dad' almost got everyone killed!" The solider retorted and SJ just lost it and slapped him the sound was harsh. She realised what she'd done "I'm sorry...I'm so s-sorry" she stuttered and ran off "SJ Wait!" Monk yelled after her "thanks Mate thanks for that! That girl just lost her dad and you made it so much worse!" Fingers spat at the Afgan soldier.
          SJ ran to her tent and wrote her dad a letter.
'Dear dad,
I love you, today was awful I feel like I've been shot, I lost you and I will never forgive myself. Your right no matter how many hugs or I'm sorry for your loss it doesn't help with the pain it doesn't make it different or easier.
     I love you with all my heart, you kept me safe, you always fought my corner with mum and Jamie and uncle Charlie. I will never forget you.
Love you Always and forever.
SJ Harte Xxxxx'
        She went and placed that in her dads belongings box.
                    Georgie was back in the tent with Captain James she was crying "what will I do without him?" She cried "why did he...one last mission fuck one last mission!" Salty tears rolled down her cheeks as Captain James sat beside her and put his arm round her. Georgie broke into pieces and Captain James just held her and rocked her gently.
         The army returned to Nepal, Georgie went to get some water to give SJ and the rest of 2 section when she was met by the NGO she had a fling with before getting back with Elvis.
Georgie spoke "I'm so sorry" he looked at her "you have nothing to be sorry about" he replied Georgie's eyes glazed over "it's all such a fucking mess" she choked. He put his hands on her shoulders "there was nothing you could do Georgie" he answered then broke down "he died in my arms" she cried, he pulled her into a hug and comforted her "I know , I know" she composed herself "thanks" she sniffed.
Georgie went to her tent and read the letter that Elvis had left in event of his death.
(All credit time our girl writers)
' i know you said if I ever buy the farm on a mission I mustn't leave my death letter to you, well I am so get over it. Thing is George there is no-one else. Yeah yeah maybe I didn't always let you know that so I'm letting you know now. I mean gutted as I am about dying and all that I do hope it was quick. At the end of the day I have loved, properly.fully. And how lucky was I that it was with you. I was about to write about all the rainbows and sunsets rolled into one but, I could just imagine your face doing your fingers down your throat doing the pretending to vomit thing. So I'll just say remember me. Remember that guy way back when and maybe just maybe if anything good ever happens that it could just be me having a word with god sorting it out for you.'
Georgie cried she truly loved him with all her heart.
          It was 3 am and SJ was in her dads top which was 3 sizes too big on her, it still smelled like him.
         She just sat there wishing upon stars when fingers came and sat with her "the answer to you question you asked earlier" SJ began "They were official fingers, they were engaged." She finished and put her head on his shoulder "Awh SJ I'm sorry" he replied "you see that star that's the brightest." SJ asked fingers nodded and pointed at it "that's my dad" SJ replied . Then a voice spoke "your dad always did like to outshine the rest" it was captain James he sat next to SJ as fingers called it a night, she put her head on his shoulder and fell asleep she felt at piece and close to her dad, at last.