Never Again

chapter 12

author's note: sorry i haven't updated for a while! i've been having some computer troubles. thanks for being patient! <3

Chapter 12

The next day was Saturday. Usually I sleep in until about nine or ten but this Saturday was different.

I called my cousin Brinn and we agreed to go and meet her at the pier. We were then going to spend the rest of the day together until she and her boyfriend Sam came over for dinner.

I quickly ate a granola bar and banana for breakfast and walked out the door without saying a word. I didn't feel like talking to people, especially my mom, so I just left a note on the counter telling her where I would be. She already knew I was going out any way.

When I got out of my car I immediately saw Brinn's light brown, ombre hair billowing out behind her in the breeze. I smiled and walked over the the bench she was sitting on. When she saw me she smiled this great, big, goofy smile and hugged me tightly.

"How have you been Elsie?" she asked.

"Oh, you know, the usual. " I replied. "Bored out of my mind at school, cold all the time and always drawing."

"Well you look great!" she exclaimed. "I love the high ponytail and nude lip look! It's really pretty on you."

I laughed lightly and sighed in my brain.

Brinn was always saying those kinds of things. She always has something nice to say to someone else despite her mood.

Brinn was also extremely pretty and everybody liked her. What was not to like? She had shimmering silverish, blue eyes, ombre hair, light, clear skin, a few freckles and had teeth whiter than snow. (Not to mention that her breath always smelled like a candy cane.) She's also very athletic and skinny. She and Sam go on backpacking, hiking, biking, canoeing and pretty much any other trip you could go on because of their jobs- international photographers for a magazine. Over the summer they went hiking in the hills of Norway and stayed at a fancy inn in the mountains. Was I jealous of her perfect life? Heck yeah.

"How have things been going with," Brinn lowered her voice to a whisper. "the thing."

I sighed and shifted uncomfortably in my seat. Brinn was the only one that knew about me struggling with self harm. She had caught me one night a few months ago cutting myself in the bathroom. She had promised not to tell anyone because she knew what my parents would do. She did try to help me though by making sure that we hung out a lot. She would always try to make me happy, which always worked around her. I was never as depressed around her. But it didn't quite work.

"It's okay," I mumbled. "It hasn't been happening that often."

"But it still does?" she asked.

I nodded.

"Have you considered counciling yet?"

"No!" I cried. Then I quieted down. "No, but I don't want to. They won't understand my reasons and will tell my parents and then it will be like living in rehab!"

I looked at Brinn pleadingly.

"Please don't tell them tonight!" I begged, tears welled up in my eyes.

"I'm not going to Elsie! It's okay," she soothed. "I won't tell them anything."

I leaned my head on her shoulder and she hugged me tightly.

"But do know that I want you to seek help okay?" she said. "You can't keep on living like this."

"I know, it's just so..." I looked down sadly. "Hard."