Xandra with an X

Do You Sing

"Don't get so upset."

"No, I'm gonna get upset Boris!" I shout through the abandoned house. "I'm always just someone's toy and I'm sick of it!" I smash my empty beer bottle on the cement.

A few blocks over from our street there are houses that were never finished. They're just abandoned projects so Boris often hung out here to get away fruition his dad before I moved here. There was already two beanbags, a chest of snacks, and a bed area he set up a long time ago so we decide to just hang out here.

"Just go back and talk to her."

"She doesn't want to talk. And quite honestly maybe I don't want to either!" I've refuse to cry. I'm angry, not sad.

"Vita is this about more than just Xandra?"

"No," I sit back down on my beanbag and hide my hands in my face.

"You can tell me." He moves next to me and throws an arm around me.

"I don't want to just be used, especially with Xandra. I care about her."

"I know." He leans his head on mine. "I promise this'll turn out."

"Thanks." I don't believe him but at least he's trying. I sit up, a little wobbly from the booze. "Its late."

"I'll walk you back." He helps me up and I practically fall into his arms.

"Do me a favor." I take out the bag of pills I stole from Larry. "Sell this shit, we split 50/50?"

"You got it boss." He throws my arm around his should. "And no 'working' after you've drank this much okay?"

"Got it." I roll my eyes.

We wall home and it only takes a few minutes. It's past 1, my body feels great after drinking, but I'm tired. Boris waits till I'm inside with the door lock before getting himself home. God he's sweet, I think as I pull my shoes off. After successfully puting my shoes on the rack and climbing the stairs, I throw on my pajamas and head to the bathroom.

Unfortunately the feel good that ran through my body is steadily fading and I already miss it. Tomorrow night I'll do the same thing and I'll make sure I can enjoy it even longer. Maybe I'll stay here and drink? Alone, in my room. Or maybe Xandra will be okay with my company?

I brush my teeth and just as I'm about to go back to my room I remember what I said. I have to enjoy this while it lasts, even if I am a little upset with Xandra. Sighing, I head down the hall to her bedroom door that is just slightly open. I sneak in, the dark consumes my vision, but I make my way to the empty side of the bed. Xandra must be asleep. As soon as I slide under the covers that thought I'd proven wrong when I hear her raspy voice.

"Where were you?" I don't answer, just keep my back towards her. The bed slightly creeks as she shifts and her arm snakes around me, pulling my back to her chest. "What are you still mad at me?" She chuckles in my ear.

I'm about to push her off me and storm out again then suddenly I feel her plump lips on my shoulder. She kisses it softly, twice, before laying her head down on me.

"You're too sweet to stay made at me." She sighs. She's definitely right, but why'd she say it like that? So sad, soft.. I let myself melt against her touch. "Let me hold you."

I don't want to argue or be mad at her so I turn and scoot as close to her as I possibly can. Immediately our bodies pull together and settle like a perfect puzzle piece.

My heart is racing but I don't want to feel it. I don't want to admit how much I want to be with Xandra. I've only ever felt this way about one woman, but even then it wasn't this intense. Yes I had done anything she asked of me at the drop of a hat and my heart was always full when I was with her, but somehow this is still different. It's more and I don't know how I'll survive when its over.

"You didn't answer me." She scoffs

"Walking." I mumble into her chest.

"Bullshit."

"Can I sleep or should I go back to my room." I huff.

"You didn't come in here just to sleep, now did you?" She laughs, running her hand over my thigh.

I shake my head and place a kiss on the center of her chest. I twirl her hair between my fingers, enjoying the feeling of our bodies so close. When her lips meet mine she tugs on my hair, forcing me head upwards. The shock of electricity that runs through my body and I hold on to her tighter.

"Goodnight." She kisses my head and lets me settle against her chest again.

"Do you like to sing, Xandra?" I ask, despite sleep taking hold of me.

"No."

I wish she did. Maybe she'd sing to me right now if shes did. I want so bad for her to comfort me with a song, how fucking pitiful.

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I'm stressed so I'm sorry this is shit 😊