𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐰𝐧 𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐈𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝟐

can we talk

I laughed with a couple of my friends. We didn't get to meet often since we were busy with either school or work, but now was one of those rare times. We laughed together while throwing back shots and dancing. The music was so loud and it was starting to give me a headache so I escaped to the bathroom.

Once I was away from the sweaty bodies and flashing lights I could finally breathe better. I washed my hands, the cold water making me feel a little less nauseous. My phone ringing in my back pockets quickly caught my attention so I hurried to dry off my hands and answer it.

"Hello?" I asked, forgetting to check the caller ID.

"(y/n)?" Shawn's voice asked.

I sighed. "What do you want Shawn?"

He hesitated to speak. "I-I don't know, but I've been thinking about you a lot recently. I just wanted... can we talk?"

I couldn't help but smile lightly. I quickly wiped the smile off my face though. "I'm fine. I'm better now that we aren't talking."

He sighed. "I know, I know you're better. I just.. miss you."

I laughed softly. "Okay, I'm a little drunk. I don't want to hear a bunch of excuses about why you just cutting me off wasn't your fault or... or why you regret it." I frowned. "You kissed someone else on my birthday."

He stayed quiet for a moment. "I know. I don't deserve forgiveness, I know that. I told you once I was no good for you, but you still stayed."

I scoffed. "Are you trying to blame me for this? I didn't cut you off when you said you'd hurt me, and then when you did hurt me it was my fault because you 'warned me'." I laughed. "You were an idiot then and you're an idiot now, Mendes."

"I-I'm not saying it's your fault. It's my fault. I'm just saying... I warned you."

I smiled sadly. "And you know what? I spent months beating myself up because you warned me. You might be saying it's not my fault right now, but a few months ago that's all I told myself. I'd tell myself, why are you surprised? He told you this would happen. All of your friends warned you too, and you ignored it. But I've learned to forgive myself. Because I'm not the one at fault. You are. You had millions of choices, and every time you managed to pick the worse ones. I'm not crying any more tears over you, Shawn. I've cried too many."

I could hear his breathing. Neither of us said anything for a few moments.

"I'm not going to tell you I've changed or that I'm a better person because you wouldn't believe me. But I miss you. I miss the feeling you gave me. You made me want to be better, to do better. You supported me always and encouraged me. I took all of that for granted. You were something good in my life, and I don't get that often. And I guess I thought I didn't deserve you. I didn't deserve you. I don't deserve you."

I swallowed roughly. "You deserve happiness, Shawn. Just not with me," I whispered before hanging up.

A/N Thank you all for reading! I hope you liked this imagine.

Whether you believe in horoscopes or not, mine told me that a specific person should be walking into my life again and this is how I imagined our reunion going. Things obviously didn't end well between us.

I just wanted to remind you all that y'all are worth so much! If someone breaks your heart then screw them. You're amazing and deserve better than that. Also, don't blame yourself if things ended badly between you and someone. I blamed myself for a long time, but I've come to realize that I did everything I could've and it still didn't work out. And that's okay. I believe there's a bigger plan for my life and things happen for a reason. If you don't believe in stuff like that then just remember that you're better than crying over someone who isn't crying over you.

I love you all so much! I'll talk to y'all soon! Bye!

x Isabella