Valerie || The Weeknd

Montreal

4 MONTHS LATER

Valerie:

It's been almost 4 months since Abel left for Montreal. It took me a lot of time to actually process that and become aware of the fact he was actually gone.

Things have changed for the better now, tho. I got the job as a baker and I've been dating a new guy. His name was Kyle and he was really sweet and caring.

Abel leaving also got me out of the drug addiction I had and I was completely sober. It was really hard at first but I knew it was better without them. I've been clean and doing great.

Have I been texting Abel? Yes, we both have been texting each other. Sometimes we would tell each other how much we missed being together and sometimes we would just randomly talk about our day.

After he was gone, I finally had some time to myself to think some things. Without being high, drunk or feeling guilty of what I had done to an innocent girl.

I cleared my thoughts and came to the realization that Abel was in love with me. That night, when I had confronted him about seeing other girls on Thursdays, he actually confessed everything but I was too angry at that moment to understand it. It made sense. He was just too scared or wanted me to make a move.

I wish I had realized what he was telling me and how he was scared to say ‘i love you’. Everything would be different now.

That didn’t stop me from texting him about this a few weeks after he left.

3 MONTHS AGO

TEXT

V: “Hey.. Can I ask you something?”

A: “What’s up?”

V: “Promise to be truthful?”

A: “Always.”

V: “Were you in love with me?”

A: “…”
V: “Please.”

A: “Yes, I indeed was.”

V: “Why didn’t you tell me anything?”

A: “Cause I was about to leave and I just couldn’t be in a distance relationship, I don’t even know how to be in a normal one.”

V: “Are you still?”

A: “Are you?”

V: “I don’t know.”

A: “I’m not, okay? I need to keep on going with my life and don’t look at the past. Everything happened for a reason.”

V: “So you’re just going to forget about me?”

A: “No, I'm still seeing you when I get back. It's just going to be back to the way it was. No feelings.”

V: “Got it. How did you fall for me? I thought you didn’t do love?”

A: “I guess you had no idea that you could have persuaded me. You could have had me in anything you pleased.”

V: “I was too angry with you. I had no idea.”

A: “I’m not as hard as you make it seem to be.”

V: “I see. What made you fall?”

A: “You, just you.”

TODAY

He had finally admitted his feelings. Did I believe when he said he didn’t still love me? No, I knew he was just trying to deny his feelings once again. As for me, I had no idea. Being in a new relationship was great but there were times I missed Abel a lot.