Valerie || The Weeknd

Valerie

Abel:

A couple more days had passed and Valerie was still living with me. I decided to not let her go until I left New York. I was leaving in two days.

What I was afraid of had become reality. I was once again deeply in love with Valerie. We had such a great time living and doing everything together, I didn’t want to leave.

I wanted to stay and love her, be with her. But I kept saying to myself, it’s either love or career. Love has failed me a lot of times and career was something I wanted to focus on more. She would always be in my thoughts, tho.

Valerie was now helping me pack. I couldn’t help but stare at her secretly a couple times. She was so beautiful and pure.

A: “Wanna take a break? It's almost midnight, we can finish the rest tomorrow.” I stopped folding my clothes with a sigh.

V: “We won’t have time tomorrow.” She continued packing.

A: “Come ooon, let's do something else more fun.” I begged her.

V: “Like?”

A: “Like, go outside on the balcony and drink or smoke and stare at the stars.”

V: “Sounds good.”

She made her way outside as I brought the alcohol and drugs.

I gave her the weed and poured some whiskey. She had a tired look in her eyes as she was smoking her joint.

V: “Can I ask you a question?”

A: “Sure, go ahead.” I took a sip of my drink.

V: “Why are you like that? I mean, a nighttime guy who does drugs and fucks strippers. Weren’t you ever in love?” She looked at me.

I knew exactly why I was like that. I've never opened up about it to anyone tho.

A: “And, why this question?”

V: “Your mom called this morning while you were showering. Not just once, a lot of times so I picked it up for you. She was worried. Why haven’t you talked about your family to me? Why are you ignoring your mom?”

Valerie was right. Why was I ignoring her? She did nothing wrong. It was time I told her the truth about my past.

A: “I pay for my father's sins, Val. He left us. I grew up with no father figure and kept asking the same question, why did he leave us? My mom of course had no answer to that. When I was a teenager, I realized how of an asshole he is. He tried to get in contact with me a few years back but I wasn’t interested. So, I fell in the trap. I started hanging out with the wrong people, did drugs and alcohol. I left my house for a weekend thus my stage name. I was broken and all I had was my friends, my mom was full of disappointment and I couldn’t go back to her, not empty handed. But now I have realized how bad I've been, she has accepted my lifestyle but I'm too embarrassed to face her. I’ll go back to see her when I have something to offer back for what she did all these years for me.” I sighed hard and smoked my blunt, looking deep into the sky.

Valerie was speechless for a minute. She had a sad look on her face. I, however, was feeling nice. It felt good to have someone to talk to about these things after so long.

V: “I’m so sorry for you.. I can’t imagine what you have been through.”

A: “It’s okay.. I'm living my best life and loving it, I can’t change the past.”

V: “But you should talk to your mother.”

A: “My mother thinks I’m an embarrassment.” I took a sip.