Valerie || The Weeknd

The Knowing

*WARNING*

EXPLICIT CONTENT

Valerie:

My feelings for Abel were now mixed. He asked me not to love him and just fuck but I needed to find a way in order to do that.

I mean, I did want to continue seeing Abel. Wasn't that what I was going for in the first place? A new lifestyle?

That was it. A new lifestyle. In order to become like Abel and fuck without having feelings, I had to do the things he did. And that meant going out and getting wasted.

No friends needed, I would just go there and drink. And so I did. With my black, tight dress and black, sparkly high heels, I went to the nearest club and headed to the bar.

I ordered a martini and I looked around as I took my first sip. A lot of people were dancing, some others were making out and some were alone and hurt like me.

A few moments later, I found myself dancing on the dance floor. I let the music take me away and just let myself free. It was fun.

I went back to the bar and ordered another drink. And then, another one. After a while, I had lost the count.

My head was now dizzy and I couldn't think straight. I felt like going home so I got up and headed for the exit door, not even looking or knowing where I was going. With that being said, I bumped into someone.

V: "Fuck, I'm so sorry." I looked up to him.

It was a guy. He was tall with black hair and brown eyes, he was good looking.

C: "No worries. My name is Charles." He smiled.

V: "Valerie." I smiled back.

C: "I would buy you a drink but you already look wasted." He laughed.

V: "I could use another drink."

Doing what Abel did meant fucking other people too. Why could he do it and not me?

He took me back to the bar and bought me a drink.

C: "What does a beautiful girl like you doing here all alone?"

V: "I'm just trying to forget." I half smiled.

C: "I could make you forget, you know." He smirked.

I knew that was what he was looking for since the first second he looked at me.

I was so drunk at the time that I was feeling like I needed to take revenge on Abel. Why could Abel fuck other girls and I couldn't fuck other men? Plus, being with someone else would erase my feelings for Abel faster.

V: "Make me forget then." I smirked.

He took my hand and we went downstairs, to the bathrooms. He got me into a bathroom stall and locked the door. He told me to kneel down and so I did. He unzipped his jeans and took off his underwear.

He only took half of my dress off, only my boobs were shown. He grabbed my hair and seconds later, his dick was inside my mouth. He was pushing my head, he was in control. I looked at him, his eyes were full of pleasure.

He continued doing that until he told me to get up. I did and he ordered me to bend as he turned my body around. He lifted my dress up and started fucking me hard, making me moan.

Was I liking it? No, I felt dirty. I felt disgusting, who was I becoming? I've never done such things before. I might have been drunk but I knew damn well what I was doing was wrong.

Was Abel feeling like this after his one night stands? How did Abel get used to this? I knew I wasn't liking it at all. His lifestyle couldn't be mine. Maybe us being two different worlds was what was keeping us together.

I only wanted Abel and nobody else. I thought I was taking revenge but I just made a fool of myself. Why did I ever think doing this would make me forget him? It only made me think about him more.

After he finished, we both got out and fixed ourselves in the mirror. My red lipstick was all over the place so I washed my mouth but I didn't put makeup on again. I just wanted to leave.

I went back upstairs and went outside. I sat at a bench near the club and starting crying my eyes out. Why would I let this happen to myself? I would never go to a club and get wasted and let some random guy fuck me. But it all led back to him, Abel. He was the one who got me into this shit and the one who could get me out.

Abel:

I decided to spend the night in as I had already fucked this bitch from before, I wasn't in the mood for another one. I was having a relaxing evening, drinking and making some music. My time in NY was almost over and I would start recording once I got back in Canada.

I also went to see an apartment today. I was thinking of buying it, it seemed nice and convenient.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard my phone ringing. It was Valerie, did she want to fuck?

VOICE CALL

"What's up Val?"

"Can you come and pick me up? I can't walk, see, my head hurts and I just wanna go home." She sounded drunk and lonely. I was worried.

"Valerie, are you okay? Where are you?"

"Ummm.. At a club named Blue Ocean."

"Alright, stay there, I'll be there in 10."

I immediately took my keys and left the hotel. I didn't want her alone there, she wasn't safe. I tried to prevent myself from negative thoughts and drove as fast as I could and finally got there.

She was sitting on a bench, looking so empty and scared. I sighed and got out of the car to help her.

A: "Valerie, what were you thinking?"

V: "I don't know, okay? I just kept drinking and drinking and drinking and then I was in a bathroom with a guy and then I called you." She didn't look okay at all.

A: "You fucked with someone in here?" I didn't know how to feel about this.

V: "At first I thought I could try your lifestyle so I could be able to fuck with no feelings but then I turned it into taking revenge on you."

A: "Oh Valerie, why so naïve? I told you don't take it personally."

She wasn't answering anymore. Seconds later, she grabbed my hand tightly and started throwing up all over the place. I immediately took her hair out of her face and stroked her back.

A: "Time to get you back." I sighed and helped her inside the car as she was wiping her mouth.

She was silent on the way back, her eyes closed but she wasn't sleeping. She was smelling like alcohol and her hair was messed up. She was definitely out of control.

I was sad for her. I just didn't know what to do anymore. When I was being too nice to her, she fell for me. When I acted like an asshole, she went and did this. I was scared for her.

I took her back to my hotel, there was no way I was leaving her alone tonight. She was passed out in my arms when I put her on the bed. I took her high heels and dress off and looked through my sweatshirts, putting one on her.

She wanted revenge and fucked another guy. It was something about that that I didn't like and that made me realize, was I jealous? Was that how Valerie felt about me seeing other girls? Everything was a huge mess.  

Their feelings are so fucked up at this point😟

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