I'm not a man, or anything else (Suicidal Kirishima X Bakugou)

chapter 4. what if

This chapter has a suicide attempt
a lot of cutting
And a lot of very sad Kiri

Kirishima Pov

I wake up to Bakugou cuddling me, my face immediately turned bright red. And I remember last night.
Ho no, what happened? Did I really have a panic attack in front of him?

Yes you did, you burdened him. And now look hes gone out of his way to make a pathetic THING like you "happy" is that even possible? What am I thinking of course its not!

No no no no go away, I get a lump in my throat and my eyes start to tear up, I let out a quiet sob trying to to wake the boy holding me.

I look up to see Bakogo's beautiful red eyes slowly start to open.

Now look what you did! You woke him up! He must be exhausted because of YOU! You don't deserve him and you know it! He doesn't care about you, he feels like he needs to do this because he feels bad for you!

I look up to see his hand raised, I close my eyes and tense up preparing myself for him to hit me.
I felt his hand on my head, but it didn't hurt. Was he petting me?

Are you ok? You look scared.

I look at him and scrabble out of the bed.
I'm sorry. Tears threatening to spill out my eyes.
He looked at me with confused and worried on his face.
I ran for the door and immediately ran to the bathroom
Went in slammed the door and locked it.
I let the tears spill over and run down my face i fell to the floor and cried I was gasping for air between sobs.
I crawled over to the counter threw open a drawer and grabbed the razor I shaved with took the top off and smash it, knocking the blades loose.
I look them out and pushed one against my wrist.
I then hear Bakugou bang on the door.
KIRI! WHATS WRONG?! ARE YOU OK!?
Ho look what we have hear, you being the sad pathetic peace of shit you are. And the boy that feels bad for you. You know he wouldn't care if you died right now, it's what you deserve you disgusting fag your

STUPID

UGLY

WORTHLESS
STUPID
FAT

VILLAIN

NO GOOD

DEPRESSED

SUICIDAL

WEAK

AND THE LIST KEEPS GOING AND YOU KNOW IT! NO ONE LOVES YOU NOT YOU FAMILY NOT YOUR "FRIENDS" NOT EVEN YOURSELF!

No no no no no... I look at my wrist witch it already torn to shreds
I smash the blade into my wrist one last time, making the deepest cut yet.
Then I see Bakogo barge in
With tears in his eyes.

Bakugou Pov

OPEN THIS DOOR KIRISHIMA!
What was wrong with him? Was it about last night? Was it that I got in bed with him?
I can hear him loudly crying though the door talking to himself

STUPID

UGLY

WORTHLESS

STUPID

FAT

VILLAIN

NO GOOD

DEPRESSED

SUICIDAL

WEAK

That was all it took!
IM COMEING IN!
I break the door and see him on the ground in a puddle of tears and blood with a razor in his hand.
His arms were bloody and shredded
He was pale and exhausted looking, he knees pulled to his chest and his face hidden between them.

I start to cry, its hurts me so much to see him like this. I never told him but I love him, I don't know what I would do without him.

I could hear him mumbling something.
I kneeled down beside him and could hear his saying

please no no no, dont hurt me, please don't hit me.

It's me Kiri, its Bakugou. I would never hurt you.
I pull him in to a hug
Just calm down, you will be ok I promise.
Moments later I could feel his body go limp
I could feel my blood run cold, I put my finger up to his neck, and check for a pulse.

I let out a sigh

he was alive just unconscious.

I pick him up, leaving a small trail of blood behind us, I lay him on his bed.
I know first aid, they tough us a lot in hero training.
I take the hoodie off him leaving him shirt less.
I cleaned him up and put bandages on both his arms.
How long has he been like this?
The cuts went all the way up to his shoulders

What if I wasn't there...?

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Hay people, I don't even know if anyone is going to be reading this but if you are thank you! I really hope you are like likening the story so far! This is my first story so please don't judge me to hard.
Thank you
Sincerely
Author~chan
And I also want to say that Bakogo called into the school and to his mother and told them Kiri's situation.
They both said they were excused from school and he could stay over at Kiri's for a while

Just to clear up some possible future confusion ♡