♢Tɯιʂƚҽԃ♢ | a Steven Universe Future AU [DISCONTINUED AS OF MARCH 2021]

Chapter 12~ Toxic

*Think of this as Steven's epic disney villian song >:3* 
     
     Steven spun his head back around and began to run away. "STEVEN WAIT!" Greg called out, reaching his arm out. He lunged forward, getting ready to chase after him before being blocked by Connie. She turned her head, facing Greg with a solemn face. "Let me past!" Greg grunted. "I-I'm so sorry Mr. Universe, but... that isn't Steven anymore." Connie replied grimly. Greg fell to his knees and covered his mouth. "Y-You're lying! T-That's my son! Sure he... he did some pretty bad things back there, but t-that's still Steven!" he stuttered. Connie glanced down at the gems in her hands. "He's too dangerous! You need to get out of here! I'll take care of this!" 

     "What about the gems?! They haven't come back yet!" Greg exclaimed frantically. Connie sighed. "I-I'm sure they'll be back soon. Amethyst is usually the first one to reform." She turned her face towards the parking lot. Steven was already gone. Connie sighed once more. "Just... get somewhere safe. The gems and I will deal with him." she demanded, she and Greg parting ways.

     Steven continued to bolt closer towards Beach City, his skin illuminating pink as sweat dripped down his face. He quickly glanced over his shoulder to check if anybody had been following him. Steven fell to his knees and pulled at his hair, streams of tears rolling down his cheeks. "WHAT THE F*CK AM I DOING?!" he screamed, causing pink energy to snap a couple trees surrounding him. "Isn't this what you wanted? Vengeance?" Steven murmured to himself in response, his gem glowing brightly whenever that part of him spoke. "N-NO! I NEVER WANTED THIS! WHY AM I ACTING LIKE THIS?! I... I-I MURDERED SOMEONE! My own family had to put me in a mental hospital! I tried to stab Connie!" 

     "PLEASE! I am that dark side of your brain. I know all of your immoral thoughts... your secrets you wish to keep hidden. I know... you know what you want to do to them. You want to shatter every gem who has caused you trouble. Don't even get me started on Connie. She doesn't care about you... she doesn't love you. Why do you think she rejected that stupid proposal? Why should you bother keeping her around? No need to apologize. They are the ones who should be on their knees begging for forgiveness after putting you through all of this sh*t. They deserve to feel the same hellfire that you have been dragged through the past 4 years of your life." 

     "STOP!!" Steven yelled once more. "WHY WON'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!?" Steven looked ahead and flinched to his horror. It was the pink version of himself. He was having hallucinations again. "I can't leave." the pink clone murmured, Steven mouthing the words as well. 

     "I am a part of you." 

     The clone charged at Steven and grasped his neck. Steven squirmed around, desperately attempting to escape. He stared at the figure with wide, terrified eyes. 

     "N-No... NO!!"

     "You know you want this... come on. Just do it. You will be happier. You will have no more stress. Isn't that what you want? You want peace. Nobody's just gonna give it to you. You have to take it. In this case... the cost is lives. Picture it like this, eliminating the ones you loath is like getting rid of all your problems."
     Steven was starting to take these words into consideration. He could feel those vicious ideas flood back into his mind. He clenched his fists and stared ahead. The pink version of himself was gone.

     "Yeah... right."

     "Why should I apologize?"

     Steven felt stronger... but he didn't feel... whole. It was like there was a war going on inside his head. It was like he was trapped. He wanted to scream and cry for help. He wanted someone to reach out their hand and save him from drowning. He wanted to spill all of this baggage and emotions that he had kept bottled up for so long. 

     But he knew they wouldn't care.

     So what's the point? 

     Why should they be a part of his life?

     Steven shakily stood up, looking ahead. He could see the lighthouse from where he was standing. Steven gritted his teeth and fled in that direction. His body glowed pink as he sped up, rage surging through his veins. 

       
       Connie slammed the door open to her house, storming up the stairs. "Connie?" Priyanka called from downstairs. "Where have you been?! We've been worried about you!" Connie rummaged through her room for her sword, the gems still in her arms.   

     "I can't talk right now! Something is going on with Steven!"

     "What? I'm coming with you!"

     Connie grabbed her sword and dashed back down the stairs. "NO! Only I can handle this!" Priyanka grabbed her arm. "Please tell me what's going on!" she pleaded. Connie yanked her arm away as she opened the door. "No time!" she quickly responded before rushing out the door. 

     "Connie wait-!"

     Steven made it to the lighthouse, gazing out at the beach below. He felt a sense of emptiness. He felt so alone. Steven clenched his fist as his eyes glowed pink with anger. He wailed loudly as he threw his arms in the air, creating a diamond bubble with spikes. Steven sighed heavily as he collapsed onto his knees. His hands trembled as a river of tears streamed down his cheeks. Steven embraced himself tightly, sobbing uncontrollably out of vexation and distress. The same voice from earlier lingered in his brain, slowly tearing apart his mind.     

      Pathetic.

     Worthless. Useless.

     A waste of space.

     Why are you even alive?

     You are no better than her.

      Death is the only solution.

     Connie suddenly saw a pink glow admitting from a distance. "Steven..." she mumbled, sprinting towards that direction. It was a giant pink bubble on the hill where the lighthouse was.

     Definitely Steven.

     Connie anxiously looked down at the gems. They must have taken a hard hit... Connie wondered nervously. Just then, Amethyst's gem began to float and glow. Connie sighed with relief as Amethyst began to reform.

      "G-Guys! I-I'm back! Where's Ste-"

      Connie pointed in the direction of the lighthouse. "Oh no..." Amethyst groaned. "What is going on with him?! He was perfectly fine a few days ago! Where is this all coming from?!" Connie then recalled Steven's rant from when he had attempted to attack she and the crystal gems. "He's in so much pain right now... he has been struggling for a while. All of this trauma and emotional damage has taken it's toll on him and his mental state. Of course that gives him no excuse to be..." she hesitated for a moment before proceeding. "-murdering innocent people..." Connie shivered at the horrible idea, reminiscing back to the security guard lying dead in a pool of blood back in the mental asylum with their throat slit. Amethyst's eyes suddenly became glassy after hearing this. 

     "What... damage? He was fine... I-I.. I-Is this all our fault after all? W-Why didn't tell us any of this?? Geez I feel like such an IDIOT! He knew he could tell us anything right?! W-Why didn't he-"

     Connie rested a hand on Amethyst's shoulder. "I... I'm not sure... but what matters now is getting him back to normal." She turned her view back to the hill where Steven was.

     "Come on, let's go."

     Amethyst swiftly wiped the tears from her eyes and frowned. 

     "OK... let's just hope Pearl, Ruby and Sapphire will be back soon."