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your worst battle is between what you know and what you feel
⇸ |01| losses
Tragedy struck Narcissa Black's life the summer before her sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, in the form of the loss of a family member.
However, it wasn't death that took a sister from Narcissa's life, it was the prejudice and hatred that suffocated her family. The night her sister, Andromeda Black, was disowned for announcing her engagement to muggleborn wizard Ted Tonks was a changing point within the young blue eyed witch's life.
As she watched the flash of her mother's wand burning Andromeda's face from the family tree, something within Narcissa broke. Suddenly everything that had once made so much sense to her was instead filling her with doubt and unease.
The expression of unadulterated pain on Andromeda's face as their mother screamed and cursed her for the love she could not help but feel would forever haunt the youngest Black sister. Narcissa couldn't comprehend the hate that seemed to seep through their mothers entire being as she screamed and ridiculed her second eldest daughter.
It wasn't until after the night had calmed and Andromeda had been long gone that Narcissa heard the echoes of her mother's cries and the soft soothing words of her father. With a break in her heart Narcissa was suddenly struck with the reality that a once important piece of her life would no longer have a place in her world. It was a devastating thought to the young woman.
The pain and confusion that took place at the end of that particular summer would be the first stepping stone to the change and inner turmoil that would eventually consume Narcissa Black.
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The rain poured heavily as the Hogwarts Express pulled away from Kings Cross beginning its journey to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Narcissa liked to imagine that perhaps it could feel her pain, her loss. That somehow it knew she had cried every last teardrop she could muster, so in solidarity the sky cried for her. It was a comforting thought to the young witch.
She sat alone in her compartment, hiding away from the questions and the judgement that she knew were bound to find her eventually. She wasn't ready for the interrogation, the sympathy, or the disgust that would cross the faces of her friends as they uttered the words blood traitor. She wasn't ready for any of it, so instead she sat quietly soaking up the feeling of being utterly and completely alone.
Leaning her head against the cold window the girl willed herself to sleep, not because she was tired, but simply because she didn't wish to be awake in that moment. Her thoughts too muddled, heartbroken, and anxiety ridden for her to give a damn about anything at all.
She didn't wish to feel afraid, if anything she fought it as she saw it as a weakness, but she couldn't help it. Andromeda was gone, she was alone, and she was left with these thoughts that laid her anxiety ridden.
