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there isn't a thing
i wouldn't do
to stop your tears
from falling
⇸ |9| bad decisions have consequences
With Christmas break approaching quickly the students of Hogwarts began to feel their motivation begin to lack in their anticipation for a break from their stress inducing classes. Narcissa Black was not an exception, however, the young witch wasn't entirely sure how much less stress she'd have at home either. The holiday break brought both excitement and dread to the forefront of her mind. While she was excited for the momentary lapse in assignments and lectures, she was not looking forward to her family, nor their holiday traditions.
Her mother had already written to her three times just that week asking her what she wished to wear, how she wished to do her hair, and if she planned to match Lucius for the winter soiree the pureblood families threw annually. This would be the first Narcissa was to attend without Andromeda and her stomach was twisting into knots just thinking about it. Who would save her when old Amadeus Avery droned on about his latest entrepreneurial adventure?
She figured her mother was overcompensating with her excitement, so she could ignore the fact that one of her daughters wouldn't be in attendance that year. Narcissa wished she would focus her attention onto Bellatrix instead, Merlin knew the girl needed someone to pay closer attention to her. If Narcissa thought her parents were bad, her eldest sister was practically a masochist.
Sighing, the young witch walked quietly through the halls, reveling in the quietness, the only sound being her shoes echoing through the corridor with each step she took. Like most days, her thoughts drifted to a certain hazel eyed Gryffindor, her mood taking a turn for the worse as she thought of the night in the astronomy tower. She figured it was the best option, pushing him away. She had been so close to letting him in, she practically already had and that scared the ever living hell out of her. She hardly knew the boy and she was basically spilling her secrets to him. The journal had been what pushed her over the edge, showing her just how close she had actually gotten to him.
She thought of the journal hidden at the bottom of the trunk, the little mermaid swimming angrily as Narcissa quietly apologized each time she opened it, apparently she didn't like the dark either.
She knew she would never admit it, but she missed the nights she had spent in the astronomy tower with Cathal. With no one to keep her company in the late hours of the night, it got lonely. She had gotten so used to basically emotionally vomiting all over the boy, now that she had no one it was like her emotions were building up once again, threatening to break through the wall she had built against them.
Part of her wished to just apologize, to take it all back, but the larger part knew she couldn't. Even if it hurt, her reasons for pushing him away were valid. It was all far too complicated and dangerous, for them both, for her not to end it.
