Growing Close: Tododeku

Part 9: Good Talk

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I was a mess today more than I would like to admit.

After realizing the feelings that had budded from our ongoing "affair," every romantic feeling, that was barely identifiable before, had amplified themselves to the point where I couldn't be in the same room as him for too long before I day dreamed about him in length. Talking with him felt torturous because of how violently my heart beat. Eating breakfast with him practically gave me indigestion, the butterflies were going so mad. Catching his eye made me melt like an ice cube under scolding hot water. The whole day was a mess of emotions from start to finish.

I walked back and forth in my room, bed to door and door to bed then back again, until my feet were sore enough to fall off. I sat down at my desk and muttered mercilessly, going on about how today was such terrible example of how to act, that I should be in better control of myself, until eventually my mouth got sore too. I yanked my homework out of my schoolbag and began my studies, fixating my mind on only the academic issues on the paper in front of me rather than the relationship based one I'd been dealing with that whole day. I tried my best, getting a full page and half of English done and another page of Maths done before a set of "shave and a haircut, two bits!" knocks came at my door. Only one of my friends used that knock.

I got up to open the door, and there stood the very short figure I had anticipated.

"Ribbit; Hi, Midoriya," Tsu greeted in her croak-like voice.

"Hey, Tsu. How are you?" I asked innocently.

"I'm good, thanks," She replied consolingly, but her face quickly changed to confusion. "You're not acting as much like you did today. You seem okay now, but I can't be sure."

"You can be sure," I assured her, stepping aside to let her in.

No you're not. I ignored the intrusive thought.

I shut the door quietly before I marched farther in behind her with awkwardly timed steps, humming some tune I'd heard in a commercial somewhere before as I watched her make herself comfortable. It wasn't her first time in here, but I also didn't think she'd been in here enough to be accustomed to my all of my All Might decor. She sat down on my neatly made bed, lying against the pillows that laid stiffly against the headboard, propping one leg up on the other and letting her head lolly one one side lazily as she peered at me with concern.

"So, what was it? What happened during your date that made you start acting funny today?" She interrogated, narrowing her eyes at me as if to find more details to my behavior in my image.

I fiddled with my hair distractedly. "Well, uhh, it was nothing he did, and... wait, did you say date?"

"Yeah. Was it not a date? Ribbit," she queried.

Was it a date? I asked myself, a fuzzy, warm feeling bubbling up from the thought. Thinking about it then, I realized it really was a date.

It was a date.

"It was a date."

"So it was a date?"

"Oh my Gosh, it was a date!" I had both hands held up against the side of my head, suddenly dazed with glee. I began to pace between my closet and my desk, making lines back and forth as I repeated it.

"Okay, so you're excited," she announced in a slight chuckle. "How was your date with Todoroki, anyway? Ura-chan never told me after you and her talked during lunch."

"It was..." I searched for an adjective that could accurately describe the feelings he gave me. I scanned my vocabulary for a term that gave the date the liveliness and delight that Todoroki made me feel. I looked through the books of positive words I had stockpiled throughout the years for something that could portray what he did to me, until I had been thinking for longer than would be deemed appropriate for my attempt to finish my sentence. Finally, I settled.

"It was absolutely magical." I stopped pacing and fell down at my desk chair,

"Like, Harry Potter magical?" She inquired.

"No, no, no, no. It was like the sort of magical that builds up. Like he doesn't know he's using magic. It's like his every touch is sending some sort of incredible shock through me. It's exhilarating. And, a-and, the little things he does do just as much. He does this thing where he spaces out after he's finished with his assignments, and he draws circles with his eraser on the desk, making this focused face where his eyebrows are drawn in and his lower lip is puffed out and i-it's so cute. It really helps me, looking at him like that. It's such a great contrast to how I've been feeling lately."

Tsu gazed at me with one eyebrow raised, stricken with concern.

Oh, I thought to myself dimly, I guess I shouldn't have let that last bit slip.

"I've just been tired lately that's all," I told her, trying to diminish her worry before I continued my tangent. "He doesn't laugh often, but when he does, it's like he makes the whole world around him lighten up like the sun cast a spell for him. When he looks at me -oh, my gosh, w-when he looks at me- I just melt, Tsu, I really do. You wouldn't believe the things he does to me."

Tsu was silent, shock clear as day on her face. She swallowed, a smirk appearing across her face, and a shaky laugh climbed out from her throat. After a moment, I realized what she was laughing at.

"Tsu, not like that! The things he does to me emotionally," I emphasized, a stinging heat blotching my face. I reached up to cover my face and stretched my legs out, groaning. She laugh a bit harder, but eventually, came to a stop.

"No, it's just, it's just that you're just now realizing this," she told me matter-of-factly. "You and Todoroki have been dancing around each other for almost two weeks now, and your feelings toward each other were obvious to anyone who spent enough time with either of you."

"Oh."

"But don't get me wrong, Uraraka and I both are happy you're coming to terms with all this," she added with an authentic grin, her eyes shut pleasantly.

"Yeah. Yeah, I understand," I informed with a chuckle of my own. "It's just- I don't know, I would have thought it'd be more... private."

"You couldn't lie to save your life, Midoriya. Hiding your feelings goes the same way." I looked down at the carpet, thinking hard, but she interrupted my train of thought with the very topic I pondered. "You know, you need to talk to Todoroki."

"I know," I groaned, discomfort peeking through my tone.

A long, long pause.

"Sooner than later, Mido," she added, her voice casually sweet but her tone warning.

"I know," I repeated. I really did. I wanted to talk to him, but everything in me told me it was a bad idea. I still felt as if I just arrived home from intense training, when in fact, I had only endured the newly intensified feelings I had for Todoroki. I had been in so much of the wrong mind lately, too, and those depressing voices still nagged at me. I didn't want to drag Shouto down with me. I sighed. "Maybe tomorrow."

"Alright. I'm going down to the kitchen, now. I'm hungry."

"I might join you in a bit." I told her. I was really hungry, and if I didn't go down and eat soon, I was going to eat tonight. Tsu got up solemnly after my response, and walked to the door with slow steps. I got up to crash on the bed, holding a pillow to my face as I lied on my stomach. "See ya later."

She opened the door, moving to leave, but stopped before exiting.

"Hey, Mido? I think that talk should be sooner rather than later."

"What do you mean? I said I'd talk tomorrow," I informed, trying my best to hide my irritation.

"Well, you might wanna change that, ribbit. Good talk," she snuck around the figure that blocked her, then yelled her goodbye, saying, "see ya." She finally exited, and in her place at the door, stood the very object of my concern. Well, person, I should say.

There he stood, fidgeting with his shirt hem, until he found his eyes on my own. My breathing stopped, my heart rate jumped, and my face heated up at just the sight of him. That warm, fuzzy feeling came back, and the butterflies paid me another visit, just as viscous in their flapping and fluttering as ever. He took a deep breath, holding it awkwardly and reaching up to rub the back of his neck.

"We need to talk." This was going to be one hell of a night.