A Grip On Reality (Destiel AU)

The Breakup

._.__.~December~.__._.

I was sitting on the bus, alone, as usual. I got an unexpected text from Dean. It was unexpected because we usually texted at 11 o'clock at night.

D: hey can we talk on the phone, I have something serious that we need to talk about

It was at that moment I knew what was happening. Of course, I assumed it was paranoia, but I still couldn't help but think... could it be?

C: you mean like over the phone with like our voices? Cuz I'm on the bus so

I sent it and anxiously awaited his reply. I tried to think of anything but... that. Anything. Just anything.

D: as soon as you get home then this is something it would be rude of me to just text you

I knew it. I could confirm it right there. I knew this would happen. I just knew it. I just couldn't believe the moment had arrived.

Once I got home and let my dogs outside, I went into my room and closed the door behind me. I sat at my bed and stared at my phone.

"Serious?" I pondered to myself. There was no other theory I could come up with. No other logical theory anyway.

I hesitantly called him, and after two rings, I heard his voice.

"Hello?" He answered monotonously.

"Hey." I muttered apprehensively.

"Um... I don't know how to tell you this... but I think we should break up."

I broke. I simply broke. I knew it would happen all along, but nothing could have prepared me for when it actually did.

"I had a feeling this would come up." I mumbled shakily.

I tried to be strong, but Dean was the one who gave me strength, and now... he was leaving me.

"So that's it then?"

Everything was suddenly out of focus. He said something about being friends, but that if I didn't want to, he completely understood.

I simply said, "I guess this has all been a very emotional rollercoaster for me." I didn't really know what to say. How does one respond to being dumped?

We were silent for a good fifteen minutes. I actually had to check and make sure he didn't hang up. My mind raced as I sat there in a depressed stupor.

How would I tell anybody? I was afraid of the mocking I knew I would get from most everybody. All the snide remarks. All the "I knew it" mutterings of people around me.

I wasn't sure I could go on anymore. What was the point? I opened up to that boy, something I'd never done to anyone before, and it was all for naught. I thought I could come out of my shell for him, but now I just want to hide in it for the rest of my life.

First I was being forced to move two states away, which was hell in my opinion. Now I felt as though I was burning in hell. I had been meaning to escape it all the only way I knew how, but I never did. And it was all because of Dean. The boy who brought me out of my shell, only to crush me under his boot.

I thought it was magic when we met. Impossibly beautiful magic. But, alas, it was nothing but the alluring temptations of a witch's brew. A brew unsuited for human lips, which I learned the hard way.

The only thing I learned from this was that no one could be trusted. If you give someone your heart, be sure you're prepared for when it is crushed. For that is an inevitable fate.

We continued to sit there in deafening silence, and I was sure he hoped one of us could break that silence. But I couldn't. What was there to say? I was always such a gullible fool, hoping for someone or something to come along and make me feel loved. And just when I thought I found that, it managed to slip through my fingers. He managed to slip through my fingers.