A Grip On Reality (Destiel AU)

Old Habits Die Hard

My old nemesis.

Finally coming back to haunt me, I see.

My old addiction.

The thing I once craved.

The thing I just might crave again.

Stronger than nicotine.

Stronger than booze.

The infamous cocaine.

I should've seen it coming. I should've known it would come back to give me nightmares, leaving me tossing and turning at night.

Should've known.

Should've known.

Because old habits die hard.

The last time I did crack, I told myself it would be the last. I made a vow to myself that I would never go near that stuff again. I told myself that it wouldn't be worth it.

Back then, I was an absolute train wreck. I was a mess. A hopeless crackhead. Snorting that stuff like nobody's business. The stuff was killing me slowly. I promised myself that I would never go back. Not once. Because one time is all it takes. Then you're hooked.

I snorted it for four months. Four months of my life were wasted on crack. I was so high, I never wanted to come down. And it was all thanks to Lucifer.

He was a notorious drug lord. Made me an offer. An offer I'd not soon forget. I was neck deep in it all. I was in so deep, I never thought I'd make it out.

Crack, pot, even a little heroine. One time, one time, I did meth. That was a bit too extreme.

And now, after all this time, my inner demons come back to haunt me. Worse than actual demons. Now I was starting to crave it again. While I was in a cop's house no less.

It was four years ago. I was somewhere in Indiana. Indiana of all places to get addicted to crack. It was late at night and I was walking through a shady looking neighborhood. I kept walking until I was pulled into an alley by a strange man.

I was about to scream, until he put his hand over my mouth, keeping me pinned to the brick wall. "Shh. Don't yell. It's okay. I won't hurt you unless you give me a reason to, alright?"

Reluctantly, I nodded.

"Very good. My name is Lucifer. I'd like to make you a very special offer."

My mind was racing. Who was this guy? What did he want?

"I'm going to remove my hand now. And when I do, you're not gonna scream, right?"

I shook my head, and he let go of me.

"What do you want with me?"

"First things first. What's your name?"

I paused, unsure if I should answer. "C-Castiel."

"Castiel? Really? Interesting."

"What do you want with me?" I repeated.

"I want to make you a very generous offer. Ever done drugs before?"

"No. And I'm not planning on it."

"Trust me, Castiel, I've got some of the best you can get. Can't get your hands on any like it."

"Why would I want to get high?"

"Trust me... the life of a junkie... is a glorious one. You haven't lived until you've given it a go. All your thoughts and worries just melt away."