Time And I

Twenty-Four

Devon and I pulled away as the song finished, and we both stared at each other. I turned my head back to the concert, and Devon did the same. But he didn't let go of me. He kept his arms wrapped around me till the end of the concert, his chin moving to the top of my head.

I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say during the ride home, so I opted to stay silent instead. He didn't say anything either, instead blasting the radio to keep the car from being too quiet.

Was I supposed to apologize for kissing him? It wasn't like I was planning on that being the way our first kiss panned out. Not that I had thought about how our first kiss would go. Had I thought about kissing him before? Yes, but it was only when I thought about having the boyfriend that I didn't have time for. I was now in a band. I had to focus on my music career and how much time it would take from me, because I didn't want to hurt my boyfriend by being too busy to spend any time with him.

Just because Devon kissed me back didn't mean that he wanted to be my boyfriend. It didn't mean he liked me. Though he said he didn't kiss people unless he had feelings for them. But he could have just been trying to be polite since I was the one who kissed him in the first place. If he kissed me first, that would have meant something completely different.

Devon turned down the radio. "I'm sorry."

"Huh?"

"For kissing you."

For kissing me? I was the one who kissed him. "No, I'm sorry. I kissed you first."

"Still. I got lost in the music, and I couldn't stop myself from kissing you back."

"Yeah, so did I." I was silent. "I'm sorry for kissing you."

"It's cool. I just... I don't want things to change. I really like you, Mel. You've become one of my best friends."

"Relax, Devon," I softly said, and placed my hand on his shoulder. "It was just a kiss. Lost in the moment. That's it. There's nothing more behind it." I knew that was a lie. I was feeling something for Devon, but I didn't want to ruin what we had, either.

Was this how Buddy felt when he confessed to me? Was this why he didn't want me to know I liked him? I knew where I stood with Devon, just as Buddy knew where he stood with me. Thankfully, excluding the kiss, Devon and I hadn't really done anything romantically. Sure, we had the fake date, and we held hands for most of it, but we acted in a more traditionally friendly way. At least not much would change if he ever found out I liked him, but I knew I had to get rid of the feelings. Opening this door meant I would feel something for someone else. I didn't want to date until I was comfortable in my role as a musician and knew what was in store for me. I had to deal with my time wisely and accordingly. There was no time for relationships. I had to forget all thoughts of dating anyone. Especially Devon.

He smiled. "Good."

Devon pulled into my driveway. A car was parked on the street. Buddy's car. I saw him sitting in the driver's seat, staring at his phone. When he saw me, he looked up and smiled, but it quickly fell when he saw who I was with.

"Is everything okay?" Devon asked.

"Yeah. He probably stopped by to see how the concert was." I exhaled. "I think he's surprised I went with you and not Jeanie." I took off my seatbelt and hugged him before exiting the car. He promised to text me before driving away.

I stepped up to Buddy's car, and he climbed out of the front seat. "Why were you with Devon?"

"Because Jeanie had to leave for California or something. She mixed up the dates, thought it was next weekend."