Time And I

Forty-Five

"I didn't even know you could do that," Lucy murmured as she inspected my new ear plugs. "He really went above and beyond for you, didn't he?"

"It's better than anything I could have asked him to get me." I giggled as Nate took them from her hand. "I love him so much."

"Did you tell him that when you got them?" Nate asked.

"Yeah," I blushed. "It was actually the first time I said it."

Lucy snapped her head at me. "He didn't think you were only saying that because of his gift, right?"

"No," I assured. "He knew what I felt. It was like it finally sunk in just how amazing he was and how much I loved him and appreciated him and cared about him. Like, I knew all that stuff before, but through a simple gift, it felt like more. It felt like everything finally made sense about why I loved him, and with that knowledge, I could say it."

"Aww," she cooed, and Nate playfully gagged as he handed the ear plugs back to me. She slapped his arm. "Quit being jealous of us in love."

"Nah," he chuckled. "I don't want to have to be romantic. I'm not a romantic person. Girls love romance and want to be swept off their feet." Lucy and I rolled our eyes. "I can't do that, so I'll let the rest of you stick to being in love. Doesn't mean I'm not going to make fun of you."

"You're a true friend, Nate," I snickered.

As though he were tipping an imaginary hat, he bowed before walking over to his guitar.

Lucy shook her head before narrowing her eyes on me. "How was your doctor's visit yesterday?"

"It went well. She's not prescribing me anything, because she doesn't want me to risk addiction since it's obvious it's just a stress load. But if I still can't sleep well even after everything is over with, then she'll prescribe me something."

"I hope it doesn't have to come to that." She sighed. "I've been getting stressed, too, and I keep waking up in the middle of the night. Thank God we only have, like, three more weekends of this stuff. Once the new year comes, I am going to make sure we are all taking a long ass break from performing."

Long ass break? Did that mean weeks of not performing? I got the fact we needed to relax after a while, but I didn't want to stop playing concerts. I loved playing. Sure, it was getting really stressful, but I was getting used to it now. Didn't mean I liked it, but I couldn't stop playing for a while. Besides, wasn't it bad for bands to do that? Stop playing for a long time? That was why they needed me to fill in their old drummer's place. They didn't want to stop. Why stop now?

"I could use a break as well," Nate called out. "I'm going on vacation for the last week of Winter Vacation. I don't want to jump into a new semester and start playing again at the same time."

"Great, so we all agree that we should take a few weeks off after this." Lucy nodded. "It'll be good for everyone's mental health." She patted my shoulder and smiled down at me. "Trust me. It's for the best."

I wanted to tell them I still wanted to play, but James waltzed into the room and slammed the door shut behind him. "I know I'm late. I'm sorry. Let's get started."

"You look out of breath," Nate commented.

"I was with Petula. Some things happened, and long story short, she needed me. Everything's fine now. Let's just practice."

Nate, Lucy, and I all glanced between each other before we got into position.

-

I was packing my backpack when James stood beside me. "Did you go to the doctor's yesterday?"

I took out my doctor's note and handed it to him. He smiled as he glanced at it. "Good. I don't need to worry about you getting sick, too."

"Is Petula sick?" I whispered.

James knelt beside me and flashed a dejected smile. "She's been so stressed about the art show at her school that she's been skipping meals to work and is waking up early and going to bed late so she can finish painting. If she makes even the tiniest mistake, she's starting from the beginning."

"This art show must be a huge deal."

"Yeah," he sighed. "She has representatives coming over to give her scholarships. She needs the money for school, so it's been very stressful for her." He stared at the floor, and his eyes glazed over. "She was so stressed out that she was throwing up when I saw her. I had to make sure she was stable and taken care of until her parents came home."

"Are you going to go visit her now?"

"I planned on it, but her parents told me she was finally sleeping. They're monitoring her, and I know that if I come over, she's going to wake up and want to spend time with me. Right now, what she needs is sleep, not me." He tapped his foot against my thigh. "How about you? Are you planning to visit your boyfriend?"

"No. We don't see each other outside of school on Tuesdays- well, at least not usually. I get as much homework as possible done before I come here, and then I spend the rest of the night trying to unwind so I can fall asleep."

"Did your doctor prescribe you anything?"

I explained to him what she told me.

"No more energy drinks for you," he stated, pointing at me accusingly.

"Yeah, yeah. I just need something to keep me energized throughout the show. Adrenaline is not enough now."

James frowned and pulled out his phone. "I'm going to cancel Sunday's show."

"No!"

"You need to relax. Honestly, we all could use some time."

"No way. It's too soon to cancel. It'll look bad for us." I groaned. "We already talked and decided that after these last few shows till New Year, we're going to take a few weeks off to get settled in the new semester and relax. We need the mental health time," I whispered.

James stared at me for a long time. His eyes were blank, and he blinked only a few times. Could he tell that it upset me that we were going to take a break, or was he just processing what I said?

"You understand that if we make it, we're not going to be performing every night and that we will take breaks, right?"

So it was the former. "I do. It's just... I have waited years to be part of a band. And we're about to get through the challenging part. This is going to be the most stressful time with the band and school to deal with."

"Honey," he chuckled sadly. "It's only going to get harder from here. Yes, we won't have school anymore, but we are still going to be dealing with a lot of other things. Press conferences, interviews, television appearances. All the likes."

"Then isn't it good that we're preparing for it now while we can?"

"It is good, but do you think that means we shouldn't enjoy a break while we can?" he asked. "Shouldn't we all be able to enjoy some time off and take a little band vacation? Like you said, it's going to be good for our mental health."

James stood up and reached his hand out to me, pulling me up. Placing his hands on my shoulders, he looked me straight in the eye and said, "The band will not split up after a mini vacation. If anything, it'll help us from splitting up." Patting my shoulder, he said, "Go home, and get some sleep. I'll pick you up Friday, okay?"

As much as I hated the idea of the band taking a break, everyone was right. We needed a break. We needed time to relax and unwind. If we were going to stay together, the band needed some vacation time.

But that didn't mean it didn't suck.