Time And I

Twenty-Five

Buddy ignored me all day at school. He didn't talk to me. He greeted Darcy as he passed by our lockers in the morning, but he didn't stop to talk. He walked up to his other friends and talked with them. And at lunch he stayed at their table. I sat in the cafeteria that day since it was raining, so the band had to practice indoors. That meant I wouldn't be able to play drums until after school, when Darcy and I practiced for the variety show.

The cold shoulder Buddy gave me didn't go unnoticed by anyone. People did talk and gossip about it. Many people claimed that I had pissed him off, but I overheard a few people correct them and say that he did something to me to piss me off instead. I wondered if Buddy had told people what happened between us, but that would have meant he was admitting his feelings for me. He would never say anything about it after I rejected him, but then again, no one would willingly take my side unless they knew why.

I sat at the drums in the band room and played mindlessly as I waited for Darcy to enter. The moment she did, she made wild hand gestures, begging me to stop.

"Buddy told me his side of what happened. You tell me yours. Go," she commanded as she pulled a seat next to me. And I told her about going to the concert with Devon instead of Jeanie and how jealous Buddy wound up being, how I got mad that he was jealous when he didn't have the right to be, and she agreed with me.

"But don't you think you were a little harsh?"

"Being nice didn't seem to help it sink in," I deadpanned. "I said what needed to be said, and I don't regret it. He has no right to be jealous of me liking someone else because he and I are not going out."

"I knew it!" she exclaimed. "I knew you liked Devon."

"Who gives a shit if I like Devon?" I groaned. "I finally joined a band. My free time is going to be very limited. I don't have time to think about being in a relationship. I don't even have the chance to be with him. We may have kissed the other night, but-"

"You what?"

"-we both agreed that we are better off as friends. Nothing is going to happen between us, and we plan to keep it that way."

"Seriously?" she sulked. "Mel, you could make time for a relationship if you wanted to."

"The only way it would really work was if he went to school with us. Otherwise, I will have no time to see him. Maybe the occasional day, like once a week, but that's not enough. If I'm going to date someone, I want to treasure them and make them feel loved and special. I can't do that fully if I only have one day a week with them."

Darcy smirked and nudged my knee with hers. "But if you had the time to date Devon- and if he did like you back, would you go out with him?"

"Yes," I stated. "I'd love to go out with him, but none of those things are possibilities right now. The moment I have my first rehearsal, I won't have any time to date. And let's not forget the most important factor here."

"What?"

"He doesn't like me back!" I exclaimed. "I will not chase after someone who doesn't like me back. That's unhealthy. I want to stay friends with Devon. We haven't known each other long enough for this to ruin everything. Not that I'm saying things between Buddy and I are ruined, but he doesn't want to be my friend right now. I can't force that from him."

"I know this sucks," Darcy cooed as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders. "I hate the idea of you two not being friends, but Buddy told me he needs some space right now. He really likes you, and he knows he doesn't have a chance with you. But there's still hope, and until that goes away, he doesn't think it's a good idea to hang out with you so much. If he's away from you, he can get the separation he needs to move on. He doesn't want to ruin your friendship for good."