Time And I

Fifty

Five Months Later

The first time I heard about graduation parties was when I was a sophomore. I overheard a couple of senior girls talking about who they were inviting and all the money and presents they were going to get. I thought they were making it up so they could throw a party, but Buddy told me it was a real thing.

Jeanie never had a graduation party, so I thought I wasn't going to get one. Yet there Buddy, Jeanie, and Rick were in our kitchen, planning our joint graduation party. Since Buddy was obviously going to invite me to his, and he felt bad that I wasn't planning on one, he made it a party for the both of us. Because of our relationship, Jeanie would not come, but she planned to invite me out to LA with her for her next convention and have me celebrate with her new coworkers, who were honestly all fucking awesome.

The doorbell rang, and I excused myself to answer it. I thought it was going to be Buddy's parents, who were eventually going to join us, but it was Devon instead. Just seeing him made my heart ache. I had a feeling this was going to finally be the conversation we had been dreading, but I knew it was it was going to be for the best.

Petula was right about needing to put in one hundred percent in order to make a relationship work if it was going to be long distance. But what Jeanie said about it being better to have tried and failed than to not have tried at all was also true. It was what made the past few months with him all the more incredible. I enjoyed every second I spent with Devon, and after my passing out incident, I made sure to make more time to spend with him.

We went out on so many dates. We had a lot of fun hanging out with his cousins, our friends, and just by ourselves. They were memories I was always going to look back on with a smile, and they were moments I wanted to keep to myself and preserve. Knowing him, I knew he felt the same way.

"So," Devon was the first to say, "we really need to talk about what we're going to do."

"I hate that you have to leave so soon."

"If I take summer courses, I can get on the fast track and become a doctor quicker."

Running my hand along his arm, I said, "I'm very proud of you for remaining dedicated to this. I know you're going to be a great doctor."

"I know you're going to be a great drummer," he smiled as he rested his head on the top of mine. "But I'm going to be in San Francisco, and you're going to be here. Hopefully not much longer once you release your EP. I'm going to be the first to download it."

"Thank you," I chuckled. After our month long vacation, the band came together and brainstormed on what songs would be featured on the EP. We settled on six, including Petula's song and the one I wrote with Nate. July fifteenth, it would be out and available for streaming. And after the band all agreed on it, we decided that if we needed the help, Jeanie could tweet about loving our band in October to give us a little boost. Sometimes it paid to know people in the business.

"When I told Aunt Melissa about the album, she almost had a heart attack," he chuckled. "She's so proud of you too."

"I'm glad she came to our concert last week, despite hating the sound of our band."

"At least she knew you guys were talented."

"True," I laughed. "How hard is she taking the move?"

"She's upset to see me go, but I know she'll get over it. It wasn't like she was always around, anyway. I'm just glad she's finally retiring and will help take care of Rena."

"And you know I'm going to keep a close eye on her, too, right?"

"You better. She will always think of you as her big sister."

"Aww, she's always going to be my little sister."

My hand slid down to his, and he grasped onto it tightly.

"This has been the best year of my life."

"Mine too. I'm glad you were there to help me with everything."

"Me too. You're the reason I'm even going to the UCSF School of Medicine." He kissed the top of my head. "I don't want to break up."

"I don't either."

"Then the only option I can think of is long distance, and we already talked about that."

"I don't know if I'm going to have time to call you every day and Skype and all that, and you're going to be busy studying, and you should be able to live the college life and have fun. I don't want to keep you from that experience."

"I don't want to keep you from the rock-and-roll lifestyle."

"Then we know what we have to do," I sniffled, "even if we don't want to."

"I hate this so much," he whimpered. "I wish there was an easier solution... but I can't think of anything."

"Then I guess we know our answer," I said. "And I guess we know we can't keep dragging it out. We're at the point where we can't ignore it anymore. You're leaving in two weeks, and we have to be done by then."

Devon tilted my head towards him, and he kissed my lips softly. "You will always be my first love."

I snorted. "Shut up, Shakespeare."

He laughed. "It's true. I'm always going to treasure the time we had together."

"Me too." I sighed. "It was better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all."

"Alright, cool it, Dickens," he quipped.

Devon stoop up from the porch steps, and he pulled me up next to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he wrapped his arms around my waist. I'm glad I brought his homework over to his house. I'm glad I got to spend time with him and get to know him. I'm glad I could get people on his side instead of Jett's. I'm glad I had my argument with Buddy, because it allowed me the chance to get to know Devon better. And I'm glad that when he told me he liked me, I didn't turn him down. I'm glad we made it work, because the past year I had with him was the best of my life. He was there for me when I almost lost Buddy. He was there to help me when Jeanie and I were falling apart. He was there when I got my first band, and he was there to help me pass the school year with all of my stressful gigs.

It was worth it to have Devon in my life, even if it was only for a short amount of time. We made the best of the time we had together, and as much as saying goodbye hurt, it was for the best. He was going to become an amazing doctor, and I was going to be a famous drummer. In order for us to make it to the next chapter of our lives, we had to say goodbye.

I promised him in front of my house that we would always be friends, and he agreed. "I'm going to visit when I can, and I hope that I'll be able to see you."

I hoped that by then I will have moved on at least a bit, because after I promised him, saying, "Of course," I realized I may not be fully ready for that sort of commitment yet. But I've heard that time apart can heal a broken heart, so hopefully that would work for me, because I wanted to keep Devon in my life. I wanted him to always be my friend.

With a final kiss goodbye, Devon walked home without turning back to look at me. I was glad he didn't, because I couldn't stop crying. I bet he was, too, and that was why he didn't want to look back at me. At least that was what I was hoping for.