LOVE MEEE!! - (Abandoned)

Lie to yourself

Ian C.

"So.. you're still not talking to me, eh?" I ignored her and kept walking.

But that's right I'm still not talking to her, Claire I mean. It's not that I'm mad at her.. I'm just upset and confused.. more so confused.

"You can't not talk to me forever Ian, I know where you live."

I don't understand why it hurt when I saw Misha with him. Why I felt that way when I heard his seductive voice.. why I'm even thinking about him.

I sighed and I turned around to face her. "You're right, I can't keep ignoring you.. but I don't know how to feel right now."

She smiled and hugged me.

"Ian, Ian, Ian.. you're fucking gay. There's nothing more to it."

Am I?

"Think about it, you can't get hard when this," she posed like a model, "is right in front of you."

"Oh yes, rub your ego more, will you?"

"Come on, you know what I mean, right?"

I shrugged, "That's just it, I don't know anything."

"I want to help you out Ian. No. I am gonna help you live out your big gay fantasy with Misha." I looked at her to see if she was joking, she was not.

"I don't know about the last part.. right now I just want to understand how I feel."

"That's a start, we'll make our way to big gay wedding slowly."

Right.. "big gay wedding" huh..

As we walked around I couldn't help but think about him.. his pretty eyes, the way his lips moved when he kissed that bastard.

Why.. why can't I help think about him?

"Cause you like him." An airy voice said.

Was that my conscience? Or rather..

"Come on Claire, stop reading my mind."

"I'm not, you're just really easy to read."

Am I? I always thought I was secretive.. or maybe I just confused the meaning of secretive with something else's.

"Come on, stop zoning out you need to face the music!"

Usually that meant consequence, but I've got a nagging feeling that wasn't it.

"Confront him, it's the least you could do!" Least I could do?

"How so?"

"Well let's see, how about the fact that you woke up naked next to each other then flirted with him and still haven't explained or even apologised to him, and the fact that you're actively avoiding him?"

Well, when she puts it like that..

"B~"

"No buts, and you don't seriously think Chris is gonna murder you, are you?"

I shivered as I remembered the way he looked at me like I was the filthiest piece of shit human there was.. which I probably am.

"I'm just confused."

"Well, now's the perfect time to get over that!" She suddenly pushed me causing me to suddenly topple forward.

I grabbed hold of anything I could to keep myself up. Luckily there was a wall of lockers in front of me, and unluckily

And oh boy did I regret that.