playdead

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Oliver laid in his bed, staring at the ceiling.

It was getting close to four in the morning. Oliver couldn't sleep.

He couldn't stop thinking about Belle.

Yeah, he thought, it was just some cheesy love story probably. She was beautiful, with no visible imperfections at all. Oliver, not even wanting to look himself in the mirror.

Oliver sighed and looked out the window on his left. It was on the far wall of his room. It was above his hand-me-down desk that was splintered and chipped. The moon shone outside, like a big, white disc.

Oliver thought more.

Belle, was probably a lesbian girl. She probably wouldn't give up her lifestyle she chose for someone like Oliver.

No one would.

He can't love her. He just can't. There's an unwritten rule about these relationships. Don't fall in love with someone who has their heart somewhere else.

Oliver had done the mistake of doing so. It's her rose cheeks, her dirt colored eyes. Her long and brown hair. The way she softly spoke. Oliver choked.

Tears went down his cheeks. Why wasn't he normal? Why wasn't he like the jocks, with bulging muscles and tons of friends? Why wasn't he attractive? Why couldn't someone as perfect as Belle just be his?

It was no use. Oliver let more tears go down. He stared at the moon, wondering and thinking. He knew that in this world, he can't have everything he wanted. He can't always have the things that made him happy. And you have to live with it.

Oliver shook and shuddered, goosebumps covering his body.

Oliver thought more.

What if you did muster the courage to walk up to Belle, and confess? Say the things invading your mind. Say everything you've always wanted to say. What would happen?

Oliver scolded himself. Why in hell's name would I do that? I would lose her...I would...

Oliver sighed. He narrowed his eyes. He decided this.

It's (technically) Monday today. On Friday, I'll confess my feelings to her.

She was such a gentle and kind person. There's nothing that can go wrong with this. Even if she didn't have the same feelings. It didn't matter. Oliver would be so much better with or without her, as long as those words came out of his throat.

"I love you."

Oliver smiled. He thought about the future he would have with her. Raising the best family ever. Living on a nice piece of old farm land. Taking in the fresh air, holding her soft hand.

He would propose. She would cry. They would marry.

Oliver giggled a bit. What if it does happen?

DON'T mess it up. Okay?

He agreed with his self conscious. He fell asleep, wondering how Friday would turn out.