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｡･:*:★,｡･:*:･☆SPENCER REID (sexual content)
I DIDN'T SLEEP FOR THE REST of the night. I couldn't—not after seeing Lilac like that. I didn't know what she dreamed of, but all I knew was that she woke up absolutely terrified and that it was most likely triggered by everything she'd been through this week. Either Dove's death or killing someone triggered one of her memories, I assumed—it could also possibly be both, too.
For once in my life, I truly didn't know what to do or what to say. Lilac wouldn't talk to me, and the closest thing that she'd done to open up was cry. I needed to know what exactly was happening so I could get her some help. Not only that, but she needed to talk to someone if she wanted to feel better.
I thought about this dilemma until the sun came up. And the only thing I could come up with was that I had to make sure Lilac didn't feel alone. I ordered room service so she'd wake up to some warm food, and stayed in bed for the remainder of the morning as I waited for her to wake up. Hotch called, and said that I could come in late—I wanted to ask him if I could just stay with her for the rest of the day, but I felt guilty to the team as well for being so irresponsible yesterday.
I stared down at Lilac, who's head was still resting on my chest. Her hands were holding onto my shirt, as if I were to run away or something. It was cute, but a little sad nonetheless. Another hour passed before I left the bed and went to the bathroom to disinfect my arm. It was still sore, but I'd been avoiding taking my medicine because I knew it was time for me to stop this. I couldn't help Lilac if I was high on drugs.
I grabbed the orange bottle to throw it in the garbage, but when the time came I just couldn't let go of the damn thing. What if I needed it? I thought, They're doctor prescribed, it's hard to get these just anywhere.
That was the mindset of an addict. I knew it was, but I set the bottle back in its place anyways. Actually, I took off the cap and counted the pills inside—I wasn't sure why, but I just felt the urge to do so. To remind me of how many should be in there and that the number should stay as it is.
I counted 25 inside.
And just as I was about to put them back, I heard Lilac outside of the bathroom. Panic rose to my chest and I shoved them all back into the bottle, setting it back in its place. I opened the door and Lilac gasped, jerking backwards with surprise. My eyebrows furrowed with concern but I kept my distance to make sure she wasn't going to freak out on me.
"Are you okay? I didn't mean to scare you." I told her softly. Lilac pursed her lips together and shook her head, reaching up to rub her eyes tiredly.
"I thought you left." She muttered.
"No, Hotch said that I can come in late today." I told her, stepping closer and leading her back to bed. Lilac sighed softly, collapsing on it face first and groaning into the pillow.
