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｡･:*:★,｡･:*:･☆SPENCER REID (tw; talk of addiction)
THE MORNING AFTER WAS difficult, to say the least. Everything that happened last night was all fogged up in my memory—I knew it had happened but it really didn't feel like it did. It was a difficult feeling to explain, it was like so many emotions were hitting my brain in that moment that I couldn't fully process it all. And when I woke up, it was like it never even happened. Like it was just a terrible nightmare.
But it wasn't. This was real, and painfully real. Lilac was slipping into the same hole as I was currently in, all because of me. She could tell me a million times that this wasn't my fault but it was. I brought her here.
And I didn't know what to do about it. Because she was right. I couldn't even help myself, how was I supposed to tell her what to do? I was a hypocrite.
But Lilac was different than me. I loved her, unlike the way I despised myself. I didn't care what happened to me, but I cared what happened to her. I guess that was the difference, and why I was so determined to stop her.
She was my angel. She saved me from that terrible pit I was falling deeper and deeper in every single day. Without even knowing, Lilac was the reason why I wanted to quit. She pulled me out of the dark, just by being there—and it was my turn to do the same, whether she liked it or not.
After we stopped cry fighting, both of us went straight to bed and fell asleep with a few exhausted apologies. We were both too tired to talk about what had just happened, or what we were going to do about the future.
When I woke up, Lilac was still fast asleep, her head rested against my shoulder. My arm was asleep because of it but I didn't mind—she was so close and warm. Everything felt so nice, so perfect after the chaotic events of last night. I felt happy like this.
I stared at her peaceful features in contrast to the anguish from last night. It was so relieving to see her with some peace of mind. Lilac deserved a break and I hoped she was having a nice dream.
I leaned forwards, pressing my lips against her forehead and smoothing out her baby hairs. Lilac shifted a little, nuzzling into my neck which made me smile with happiness.
"I love you, angel." I whispered softly.
Another hour or so passed before she temporarily woke up. Immediately my heart began racing as Lilac began moving around, her eyes opening and closing lazily. It was a bit funny, seeing her try to fight off the sleepiness and open them.
"Spencer..." She mumbled against my chest, sighing softly.
I chuckled, running my hands through her hair. "Go back to sleep. It's still early." I whispered to her softly.
