𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗲𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗲, spencer reid.

xxx. new and old connections

｡･:*:･★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ LILAC EVANS

I GOT HOME, CRASHING ONTO
my couch with an exasperated sigh. I buried my face into my pillow, shrieking into loudly with frustration.

I felt something land on my legs, a quiet meooow swimming through my ears. I lifted my head, immediately feeling better and opening my hands out to my tiny little kitten.

"Hello, Dove." I muttered, grinning with joy as she climbed into my hands, letting me bring her to my chest. She was a black kitten, and was shockingly small. I got her six months ago, and she was barely growing in size; Dove was the size of one of my hands. And my hands were small.

I laid back down, the kitten crawling up and down my torso. I felt better already. This was a good sign; it meant that I wasn't thinking of Spencer anymore. That meant I was wayyyy past that man and seeing him again did nothing to me. Nothing.

But...my mind wander to his feelings. Did I hurt Spencer's feelings back there? I really hoped I didn't—god, he deserved so much better than me running off like he ruined my life or something. If anything, I was the one who hurt Spencer. I was the one who wanted to break up—I was the one who didn't treat him better.

I broke up with him, and yet somehow he ended up breaking my heart. I remembered those nights where I stayed up and cried, hating myself for not being able to move past him. Hating myself for leaving him, even though he did nothing wrong. Spencer was...special to me. He didn't have to do anything to break my heart. Pathetic, right?

I sighed heavily at the memories, looking down at Dove. "You won't break my heart, will you?" I cooed sadly.

The kitten purred, sinking down on my stomach and closing her eyes. I chuckled with joy, closing my own. I had training tomorrow and hadn't even showered, but I barely even cared as I fell asleep.

—

I groaned as something hard hit my head, sending me toppling onto the floor. I heard my teammates sigh heavily with disappointment, the lights flickering on above us to reveal the robotic dummy wearing a boxing glove. I rubbed my head, grimacing and weakly standing back up.

"Evans!"

I sighed, watching agent Hernandez emerge from the sidelines with a warning look. "I know, I know. I was supposed to clear both corners before moving forwards."  I sighed heavily, feeling dejected for failing my team so many times.

"You can't be in the front lines if you're gonna be blind about it." Hernandez chided, shoving my forehead with his palm. I yelped and rolled my eyes at him, brushing my hair out of my face.

"You've made me be on the front lines for the past two weeks of training! Are you gonna give them a turn?" I asked the man, motioning back to my teammates and crossing my arms.

"Not until you're not making trivial mistakes like these ones." He deadpanned. I frowned at him with annoyance.

"You like seeing me get beat up that much, huh?" I asked sarcastically, hearing my teammates snicker behind me.

"Stop it with the attitude, or I'm making you run the whole simulation from the start again." Hernandez shot back, and I sighed heavily, nodding.

"Yes, agent Hernandez." I muttered, sulking back to the entrance.

It took us another five runs before I got it right, eventually stumbling into the finish area, covered in sweat and aching all around. I didn't understand why Hernandez was pushing me so hard these days—I didn't know if it was a bad thing, because he thought I was incompetent or something, or because he wanted to focus on me. Either way, it was painful as hell and I was more worn out than my squad leader's gym shoes.