Mess is Mine // Calum Hood

Chapter 4

I woke up the next morning still in Calum's bed. It took me a few moments to adjust my surroundings and remember everything that had occurred last night. I looked over to see Calum wide awake, staring up at the ceiling.

"Cal?" I said, reaching out to touch his arm. He pulled his arm out of my reach and looked me with emotionless eyes. "What's wrong?"

"You need to go," he said, looking away from me and back towards the ceiling. Confusion washed over me. What?

"What do you-"

"You need to go," he repeated, not looking me in my eyes. "I shouldn't have told you anything, it was stupid. You can keep the clothes."

I blinked at him a few times, still attempting to process his words. I thought we had made some progress, and now he was kicking me out his bedroom after I held him last night.

"I want to help you," I whispered, hoping he would look at me again.

"Cameron, please. Go," he said again, his voice sounding strained. I silently pushed back the covers and climbed out of his bed. I grabbed my phone, shoes, and last night's turkey suit before heading towards the door. I stole one last look back at Calum as I stepped through the door, and he didn't even watch me as I left.

Tears pricked at my eyes, but I fought them back as I took the stairs two at a time. I hoped none of the other boys were awake; I really didn't feel like explaining anything to them. Looking down at my clothes, I realized how things would probably look to Sierra when I got home. I pulled up the Uber app and waited on the doorstep for the car.

The ride home was silent, and I had to fight tears the entire 20 minute drive. I felt ridiculous for being so upset over what had just happened. I had only known him for a few weeks, and it was obvious he was dealing with some heavy emotions. Still, it bothered me that I dropped everything to go to his house last night and hold him while he cried, only to be basically thrown out in the morning.

I stepped through the door to our apartment to a very worried looking Sierra.

"Holy shit, Cam, what happened?" she sighed, running towards me and wrapping her arms around me. I couldn't help myself, and I finally allowed a few tears to fall from my eyes as I hugged her back. "Are those his clothes?"

"It's not what it looks like, I can promise you that," I sighed as we let each other go. I plopped down onto the couch and held my head in my hands. I felt the couch sink as Sierra took a seat next to me. She rubbed my back in silence, waiting for me to tell her about what had happened. "He's really broken, S," I told her, looking up at her. Her eyes turned sad, and she nodded, urging me to go on when I was ready. "He's just going through a lot of heavy emotions right now, and he was crying, and I just held him until he fell asleep, and then he basically kicked me out this morning," I spewed, not stopping to breath between sentences.

"Oh, Cam," Sierra sighed, wrapping her arms around me again. I know she had gone through similar things with Luke after his last relationship ended in flames, and now I could somewhat empathize with how she felt then. "What did he say?"

I described the emotionless look in his eyes and how he had told me I just needed to leave, despite my protests. Sierra blew out a puff of air, taking a moment to process her thoughts. "That's so strange," she finally said, looking at me with a sad look.

"Like I kind of get it, but I don't," I stated, taking a deep breath. "It'll be okay, though. It'll be fine." I looked over at my best friend to see a guilty look take over her face. "What did you do? I know that face."

"I told Luke, Michael, and Ash that you and I would go out with them and Calum tonight, but I totally understand if you don't want to go. I'll even stay home with you," she offered up, smiling softly. God, I loved her to pieces. I took a moment to weigh my options. It definitely would hurt a little bit to see Calum so soon, but I actually wanted to see him and make sure he was alright. Plus, I enjoyed spending time with the boys as a group regardless of whatever was happening with Calum.